Rehearsal Dinner Help

vwhelan85

Myy fiancee and I are paying for the rehearsal dinner and are on a budget. We are having it at a nice restaurant...but the cheapest nice one I could find (60/person). An FYI is our wedding is about 4 hours from most people.

 We decided to just invite siblings (who are in the wedding) and the SOs, groomsmen and their wives, and one of the readers. One reader has a huge family coming in for the wedding and wants to be with them since they don't see them often so she said that she doesn't mind not coming to  rehearsal dinner (and said no to rehearsal). The aunts and uncles who we are close with aren't coming to the rehearsal dinner because they all have too many kids (who are in their 20/30s) which would make the list grow crazy. I invited one of my out of state uncles (though not the other one who has a family of 6 and I am not as close with them). It is important to me to have them there because I don't have much family and my wedding party is my fiancee's sisters so there is only my mom and myself representing my family (while he has 16 people included in the rehearsal dinner list). Is it wrong of me to include the one aunt and uncle and not the other? Is it wrong to invite my one relative but his mom doesn't get to invite her sisters and their familes? This is all so confusing, I don't want to hurt anyones feelings. Thank you sooooo much.

arendiva

If you and your fiance are paying for the rehearsal dinner than the guests list is up to you. As long as you invite the bridal party, their SO's and both sets of parents you are covered ettiquitewise. Anyone else is gravy.

vwhelan85

So it isn't rude that only one aunt is coming out of both of our familes......it is quite possible one finds out that one was invited and they weren't. Who knew this part of the wedding would be so difficult

Peledreamsofrain

Rehersal dinners don't need to be massive family reunions.  It's just feeding your bridal party after rehersing the wedding.  That's it.  Easy peasy.

Unfortunately for me, my rehersal dinner is out of my hands, and it will be a massive family reunion .  The very idea of it is so draining, that I'll be a walking zombie on the morning of my wedding.  Yippee.

jessicabessica

I think it comes down to your family dynamics.  Will your aunts and uncles that weren't invited be hurt that others were?  Would the ones coming from out of state spend the time with the others anyway?  If so, it will come up when they decline dinner with them to go to your RD (or maybe they won't come to the RD).  

I think inviting more "extended" family on your side but not his is ok.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:09cd2f7e-3d91-4714-84ee-f8f2f3ec75d3Post:1889ce2e-8d3e-460a-b964-998eca22e77b">Re: Rehearsal Dinner Help</a>:
[QUOTE]Rehersal dinners don't need to be massive family reunions.  It's just feeding your bridal party after rehersing the wedding.  That's it.  Easy peasy. Unfortunately for me, my rehersal dinner is out of my hands, and it will be a massive family reunion :(.  <strong>The very idea of it is so draining, that I'll be a walking zombie on the morning of my wedding.  Yippee.</strong>
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree they do not have to be family reunions.  However ,unless the aunt/uncle were godparents or directly involved with the wedding, there would be hurt feelings in my family.</div><div>
</div><div>My RD was a big ole family reunion.  I was not a zoombie at all.  I LOVED having everyone there.  It really took the pressure off off the day of, because I got to spend time with the guests the night before.   Don't get me wrong, I spoke to everyone on the wedding day.  But the fact I got to socialize with the night before really cut down on the small talk and gave me more time to dance.</div><div>
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