Questions about using a family residence as a venue...

rcmangum

Hello Everyone!

This is my first post so bear with me....

I come from a recently (in the last two years) divorced set of parents.  Granted, my parents don't hate each other, but my grandparents quarrel about who caused what and who did what to break things up (somehow i've remained neutral on the matter)

My mom asked me today about potential venues, and I rattled off a few and one included my recently deceased great aunt's GORGEOUS farm.  My great uncle (by marriage) is still living.

My question is:

Do you think my dad's family will have issues attending my wedding at this place because it is related to my mother's family?  My father doesn't remotely hate my great uncle and loved my great aunt.  I see it as a more neutral choice than my paternal grandparent's farm (also gorgeous)

Should I try and feel out my family's feelings on this before making a choice?  I don't think my grandparents would NOT attend, but I certainly don't want to make them uncomfortable. (I am the first born grandchild and they love me and my man dearly)

This venue is perfect for what I have envisioned and represents me and my fiancee's personalities.

Thanks!

RM

bunni727

I wouldn't think it would be a problem, but I don't know your family. I would be more concerned about the logistics of having it on a private, maybe even working, farm. My H's parents are divorced, and I know there wouldn't be any trouble with them attending an event at an aunt's home, but for a family with different dynamics it could mean they wouldn't come.

You should probably just ask your dad.

ETA: Welcome! I hope we can help. Good luck with the planning!

kmbryant2413

The general rule, is it depends on who is paying for venue/majority of wedding. Since this isn't so much the case, it's a truly individual basis (which I know doesn't really help).

Most adults SHOULD be able to suck it up and see you celebrate the greatest day of your life no matter who is present or where it is. But, sometimes that doesn't happen. I would ask your Great Uncle, your mother, and your father, in that order (mom and dad at roughly the same time). Feel those out first, as they are the most important people to help you decide. 

I feel like if there are going to be issues, they are going to be anywhere. If I had children, was divorced, and one of my children wanted to marry at dads house, that's cool, even if I dads guts. So I don't think the venue should be your concern. Feel out who is paying (if anyone but yourself), and figure out feelings from there.

Did that help at all?

Avion22

Has your Great Uncle offered the use of his property?   If so, then there's your answer -- he wouldn't offer it if he had a problem with your father and his side of the family, as it's fairly obvious that you would want to invite them.  If the Great Uncle is okay with it, then chances are your grandparents will be okay with it too (though you know your family dynamics better than I do)

If he hasn't offered, then I don't think you can really consider it as a venue option.  

rcmangum

Thank you all ladies!  This has been very helpful.... You are right, I think they will be able to suck it up for me for one day.  Mom and dad are copaying so I will feel things out before making a final choice....

NOLAbridealmost

Strictly relating to the divorce issue, I don't see it as a problem.

Make sure great-uncle offers the property before considering it for a wedding venue.