new KPS

Calypso1977

did the two recent ones already get discussed?

the one about fat celebrities was kind of dumb, but the money one made me sad for that person.  ive always been way too paranoid to ever let anyone control my money.

mica178

If your H is failing at managing the finances, I'd take over.  Food over cable.

annakb8

Yeah, your H needs to get over having cable and focus on paying your bills and feeding your kid. 

baystateapple

If #2 was just a question of your husband eating ramen for a month, whatever, his problem.  Still an issue that he won't listen, but when you bring a child into the mix, it's your responsibility to do whatever you can to help your child. 

Cancel the cable and internet on your own.  Letting your H put internet before the health and diet of a child is ridiculous, and if he's not going to see reason, take charge.  You need to take responsibility out of his hands and do it yourself.  You owe that to your child.

chelseamb11

1.  Yeah, I do too.  That or ex boyfriends who have been assholes.

2.  I'm really sorry you're going through this.  You should check out mint.com.  You plug in all of your money stuff (no worries, it's safe) and it tracks where you spend your money.  For the next few months, document every time you spend money, even if it's 50 cents for a candy bar out of the vending machine.  It's easier to manage finances if you know where the money is all going.  You can color code too for (true) needs and wants to see what are things you can cut.  But PPs are right.  Food trumps cable.  The only way internet becomes a necessity is if you work from home.. but even there, you could go to your local library.. most have free wifi.

achiduck

1) Ditto. I kind of feel bad that it makes me happy, but this girl that was HORRIBLE to me in highschool and married the hottest guy in school has really ugly kids. Like we're talking born in the ugly tree and hit every ugly branch on the way down.

2) I would take over the financial management like yesterday. TV is not more important then your kids hunger.

sleblanc72

It's time for you to take over your finances.  Not only does food come over cable but your child and their health should be coming over everything.

[Deleted User]

1) I can see the mean girls, but why celebrities? They didn't do anything to you. Unless it was a celebrity mean girl who just sucks at life.

2) Time for you to take over the finances. Call the company yourself and cancel if you have to. As much as I love TV, it should never come before feeding your child or paying the more important bills.

froggatt.clare

1) I feel a little vindicated as well, not so much that they could be overweight and unhealthy, but because it takes them down to everyone else's level and makes them realize that high school was 4 years of our lives, and not that important in the long run.

2) I agree with PPs, especially Bay.  Cancel cable and internet now, or somehow put it on hold for a few months until you two get back on your feet.  Your kids need to live on more than mac and cheese and ramen.  Sure, you two may be able to survive on it for a few months, but they need the vitamins in real food to keep growing, physically and mentally.

sparent2010

#2 I would look into the extras like cable/internet and start canceling services. There is no reason your child should suffer b/c of poor money management. You need to see where the 2 of you are spending money and start tracking it.

eorea

1. I get that. I do it too but sometimes it makes me feel bad. I use to be really skinny and now that I'm not anymore I wonder if people get excited to see that I'm chubby now. I wasn't terrible in HS but I was disliked sometimes for being so naturally thin. I get embarrassed to see people I use to know. 

2. I can relate. We have struggled in the past. We haven't had cable in 2 years. We did not need that extra expensive. I haven't had internet from a company in a few months either. I got rid of it when I lost my job and now I use my phone wifi for my laptop instead. Works the same and costs nothing extra. Your H will live without these things. You need to really talk to him. Have a serious talk. You have a child. I do too. If it came down to it and I really couldn't afford to give my child food, I would go without eating so she could eat. If I can do that then I think your H can give up cable/internet. Imagine how much food that could buy? Please stop letting your H run the finances by himself. He doesn't have his priorities in the right place. 

You can PM if you want. I can understand struggling with money and I have a lot of tips on ways to cut back. 

kalpi108

I guess I'm in the minority here but I don't get satisfaction from girls that were mean to me (and believe me, there were plenty of those) gaining weight. How I feel about myself tends to depend solely on me and if I'm taking care of myself, not on if someone I disliked is taking lousy care of themselves. I also don't necessarily judge those that feel good about it though because you can't help feeling that way. Just not how I feel. For #2 ditto PPs it's been said. Child comes first and they're your finances, too, not just H's. Good luck, I hope you can force a change.

MyUserName1

I second Chelsea's recommendation of Mint.com.

It's great to be able to track exactly where all of your money is going and what bills are due when all in the same place.

Also, I'm totally with all the PPs who say to take control of your finances from your H and cancel all your non-essentials, including tv and internet.  The interwebs are great at all, but not at the expense of your child's health.

amys325

#1, I'm with Sesh. 

#2, You definitely need to be involved with your finances.  You should know where all your money is going.  And yes, Eff the cable.  Cancel that and feed your kid. 

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_new-kps-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0a6991a3-5ca5-4a9f-9cf3-e16cbf6bfbb1Post:0470ddd3-43df-4cfd-84b2-c591bb396d88">Re: new KPS</a>:
[QUOTE]#2 you really need to take control of the finances.  I think people gave you a lot of good advice.  Your childs nutritional health is more important than frivolous wants like cable and internet.  Starbucks also has free wifi, and I sometimes haven't wanted anything to drink there but wanted to use the wifi...they don't care.  So it you need internet, there are plenty of places to get it for free. You need to figure out how much money is coming in and what NEEDS to be paid.  Work from there.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

Yes to free wifi.

When I was DIRT STINKING poor with no cable, no dvd player, no internet and lived all alone in my sad apartment in a city with no friends, I used to go to the Barnes and Noble and use the starbucks wifi there or read an entire book in one sitting.  <strong>No one cared</strong>.  Sometimes I would buy the cheapest drink on the Starbucks menu to "treat" myself. 

eorea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_new-kps-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0a6991a3-5ca5-4a9f-9cf3-e16cbf6bfbb1Post:325b6ce2-a380-4693-8267-0d314bb2448d">Re: new KPS</a>:
[QUOTE]The first year I was out of college, I didn't have cable or internet at my apartment.  It sucked, but adults realize they have to put their NEEDS over wants.  I wanted cable/internet, but I needed to eat.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

<div>THIS!</div><div>
</div><div>It seriously isn't that hard. I honestly don't even miss cable that much. We thought about getting it back this past summer but it really wasn't worth it to me. I'm still on a budget and I like to know my money is going to other things I actually NEED. </div>

Megbo2012

1. I like to think I'm confident in myself enough to not really care. That being said sometimes I am told about so and so and I laugh but that's about it. Only when someone who has truly been horrible to me has Karma bite them in the ass do I really "care" and even then I try to not associate with people who bother me. 2. I'm sorry you are going through this. Did all PPs. I don't think we will ever get cable haha it's so expensive and the shows we watch are on regular free channels. Eta: also good food is important. If you or your family members incurr health problems because of a bad diet it will likely end up costing you more. Just a thought.

chrmun

I don't care about celebrities, but yeah there were some really awful people in HS that I wish all manner of hardship on.  (It makes me really happy to see them losing their hair.  Who knew that their heads would be so strangely shaped?)

ski2play

#1 Who cares, I do not get when people get jollies over people gaining weight.  To each his own on this one.  Do I wish I was slimmer, like say "high school skinny", Oh yeah, but that is how far it goes.

#2  Food over cable/internet.  Make good decisions as a parent for your children.  It is important, so very important!

Ciaram22

Thanks ladies. After I sent that in we got a payment from the school from H helping direct his dads show and luckily that caught us up on everything and actually got us back on track, even ahead. I think the 2 weeks that we both were off from E's surgery screwed us over since I wasn't paid and work didn't have anything for me the second week because they had thought I was supposed to be on vacation.

From now on though I will be more involved with our finances and won't let it get to wear I think we are done for again.

Meg1036

C - I am glad to hear that things have gotten better.  I am especially glad to hear you are going to be more involved.  I am going to step onto a soapbox for a minute, so forgive me.

You have had a really busy and difficult year.  Its maybe understandable that financial difficulties would be part of that.  But as you put your new financial plan together, definitely prioritize E's health and also saving for the future.  Some discipline and sacrifice now (i.e., cutting cable/internet) can provide you with a cushion so that if another emergency comes up requiring one or both of you to be out of work, things don't get so dire.  Little E is never going to become less expensive - soon there will be soccer leagues and field trips to pay for.  Please, please, please put together a financial plan now that includes an emergency fund, ideally with enough money in it to cover all your expenses for 6 months.

Ok, I'm off my soapbox now.  Good luck.

Ciaram22

It's going to take us a while to have that much saved up but we are going to work on it.

eorea

Ciara, I'm really glad things are looking up now. I know how hard it can be. I'm happy you will be more involved with finances now. Cutting off the cable/internet might still be for the best right now just to help as you get back on track. I know it's saved me a lot of money. Don't let your H put his wants above your needs as a family. Good luck!

Meg1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_new-kps-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0a6991a3-5ca5-4a9f-9cf3-e16cbf6bfbb1Post:37c0d26e-dc90-4413-bf06-305703b72a37">Re: new KPS</a>:
[QUOTE]It's going to take us a while to have that much saved up but we are going to work on it.
Posted by Ciaram22[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah, that takes a long flipping time.  But its a good goal.

Sounds like you're on the right track!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

2 confuses me. Why is it that suddenly money has become such a problem? What's changed recently? And why is your H such a bastard?

ETA: Nevermind, read the comments.

Megbo2012

Ciara, glad everything worked out.  I understand the problems so much more because I can't imagine all the added costs you guys have incurred this year.  Good luck

Rosie109

Outside of getting money, what have you and your H done to prepare yourself better for when this happens again?

Ciaram22

Rosie at this moment not much. It's been less than a week since it happened but we are working on it.

Rosie109

Have you talked about making sure you both see eye to eye as to what is a priority in your life? That would worry me a lot. Just because you might end up in the same spot again, and I hope you will agree that cable is not a life necessity that supersedes other needs. 

Ciaram22

We have been talking about it in bits and pieces. With me being gone all day these last couple days and when I get home he goes to bed so he can get at least some sleep before he goes to work. We have already dropped our monthly bills by $30 a month with one quick thing. It's not a lot but it's a start. We are going to look at what else we can cut out when we both have a day off and don't have to worry about sleep on Saturday.