PLEASE HELP!- Mother and Wedding Announcement Issues

angiewr0910

I am desperate for a solution. Here is my problem.

We are getting married on 10.01.2011 and paying for the wedding ourselves. We have a list of family and friends up to about 130 that we can barely afford as it is.

My mother wants me to send "wedding announcements" to distant relations and acquatances and people that we haven't spoken to in 10 years or more and that we certainly can't afford to add to the wedding. I have tried explaining to her that if I send them Save the Dates that that would be in poor taste as they shouldn't be saving the date because these people aren't being invited to the wedding! So she said an announcement, which I tried to explain to her goes out after the wedding... her are some examples
http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/shop/wedding-announcements.htm

What do I do?!! I am not going to be tacky and notify these people of the wedding and not invite them. This isn't a college graduation where you send announcements but only 10 people actually come, its a wedding!! Should I just insist on sending them out after the wedding or is there another option that I am unaware of? Do people "announce" weddings prior to their occurring? Could I send out engagement announcements instead? I think that is ridiculous too but I am grabbing at straws here for a solution!

laurenclaire1386

You're supposed to send out wedding announcements the day of the wedding, or very soon after. That was our solution to distant family who would be pissed at not getting a piece of wedding paper in the mail, but also had zero intention of coming to the wedding. Announcements are fine, as long as you send them so that the receivers get them AFTER the wedding. You can't announce a wedding that hasn't happened yet.

marissa_claire

Save the dates have to be followed with invitations.  

And frankly, it sounds like it's your MOM's relatives and your MOM's friends, so I would tell her that if she insists on sending them announcements, that she can take care of it.

Calypso1977

save the dates go out BEFORE the invites and BEFORE the wedding ONLY to people invited to the wedding.

ANNOUCEMENTS are sent AFTER the wedding, and are sent ONLY to those you want to notify of the marriage and who didnt receive invitations.  they are typically mailed the day of the wedding or 1-2 days after the wedding.

squirrly

Announcements can be mailed the day of the wedding, and not a minute sooner.  Absolutely no other mail about the wedding should be sent to the people receiving announcements, either before or after the wedding, and they should not be invited to any of the pre-wedding parties. 

To do otherwise means that they MUST be invited.  Period. 

ogrady88

Yeah, wedding announcements should be sent out the day of the wedding or shortly after to those who did not receive an invite.  I'm not sure how your local newspaper is set up, but my parents put an engagement announcement in the paper, I think that helped alleviate some of my mom's desire to "announce" everything