Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Guest # and Budget Issue

My Husband to be has had alot of his clients for 8+ years and they have been kind of inviting themselves to our wedding, which I would love to have them, but our budget is very smalll. We are paying for it ourselves. We already have large familys and alot of close friends as it is.
Our venue is free, we are doing our own food and borrowing alot of things such as centerpieces. We are trying to be frugal, but the requirements of food and bev's are gettung out of hand.
My idea is to have a 3ish pm ceremony, followed by a reception for only close friends and family, then having the other guests that are not really people we want to have for the ceremony come at 630ish pm for the party where we will have hors douvers and bev's. We will send out a different invite to these guests. This is the only way I think we can afford to have everyone there without paying for food and bev's for 200+ guests all evening. Please let me know if this is an acceptable way to handle this problem. I don't want to not invite guests that feel like they should come, due to his business. But my budget is tight and not able to budge anymore.
Thanks everyone!

Re: Guest # and Budget Issue

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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited January 2013
    No...  no no no no no.

    You have one guest list.  Those are the people you are able to host from beginning to end.  You can't invite other people later.  This is a tiered reception and definitely not a good a way to host a wedding.

    Some people will not be invited.  It is as simple as that.  They may be slightly upset, but most sane people understand budgets and guest lists.  Don't overthink this.

    There are ways to save money if you want to make your dollars stretch to hosting more people.  You can have the ceremony and reception at a non-meal time so the reception food is only cake, a few finger foods and drinks (non-alcoholic, if you wish).  You can also skip favors, fancy flowers, elaborate centerpieces, etc.  As host, you are expected to provide food, drink and entertainment to your guests and that doesn't have to occur in an elaborate fashion at all.  But, it must occur.

    I know it's hard to trim a list and work with restraints, but it's for the best.  Decide who you can host from start to finish and only invite those people.  Everyone else will understand.  And if they don't, they're being total jerks and not worth your time.
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    Tiering weddings like this is terrible. When people say they want to come to your wedding, they want to come to the whole thing. Being only invited to half the party isn't nice.

    These people are rude for inviting themselves. It's okay to have a wedding with just family and close friends. you are not obligated to invite anyone. I'm also a firm believer in not mixing business with pleasure, so there's that, too. 
    image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-and-budget-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0bb157ec-c769-4b63-b97b-ba4330c81d3fPost:9d00aa98-f0be-4c59-8805-aba68e98455e">Guest # and Budget Issue</a>:
    [QUOTE]My Husband to be has had alot of his clients for 8+ years and they have been kind of inviting themselves to our wedding, which I would love to have them, but our budget is very smalll. We are paying for it ourselves. We already have large familys and alot of close friends as it is. Our venue is free, we are doing our own food and borrowing alot of things such as centerpieces. We are trying to be frugal, but the requirements of food and bev's are gettung out of hand. My idea is to have a 3ish pm ceremony, followed by a reception for only close friends and family, then having the other guests that are not really people we want to have for the ceremony come at 630ish pm for the party where we will have hors douvers and bev's. We will send out a different invite to these guests. This is the only way I think we can afford to have everyone there without paying for food and bev's for 200+ guests all evening. Please let me know if this is an acceptable way to handle this problem. I don't want to not invite guests that feel like they should come, due to his business. But my budget is tight and not able to budge anymore. Thanks everyone!
    Posted by Jenndale22[/QUOTE]

    Guests MUST be invited to all aspects (ceremony and reception) so NO, it's not okay to do that. It would be considered rude
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    Nope. Inviting guests for only part of the festivities is tiered hospitality and while in some cultures it's acceptable, it is very rude in the US. Tell your FI to put a stop to his clients' inviting themselves to your wedding. He can tell them, "I'm sorry but we are having a small wedding and can't invite everyone."
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    You can't do that.

    Have a 2pm reception and an immediate reception with apps and beverages that can fit everyone. Have a shorter reception that ends before dinner.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    A three pm wedding followed by a cake and punch reception at the church could be nice.  And- just because people express an interest in going to your wedding doesn't mean they won't understand if they aren't invited.  Most people get that weddings are expensive, and people have to limit their guest lists.  But I wouldn't have a tiered reception like you are suggesting, you'll just wind up insulting people.
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