Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Am I wrong?

FI's mom is not contributing to the wedding, do I still write her name on the invites?
~Soon to become Mrs. O'Kane!~

Re: Am I wrong?

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    It's up to you. My parents are divorced and remarried and both of our parents contributed some to the wedding, so we went with Together with their parents. What does your FI want to do?
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    People will say that it doesn't matter who is paying as much as it matters who is "hosting". A lot of times, it is easier to put "together with their parents" than to piss off family members and get into fights over a line on an invite that people will barely read. Nobody helped with my brother's wedding and they put "together with their families" because they knew it would make everyone happy. 

    My mom (and maybe FI's mom) will be contributing some to our wedding but we won't have any parents' names on the invite. For him, it's super important that it's us hosting and that it's only our names on the invites. I told him his mom won't be happy, but it's apparently a hill worth dying on for him. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-i-wrong-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c787171-3be8-43a5-9a0c-cd9f90e1375dPost:a58d3592-d5fe-4df6-b17a-bc93bfab55d0">Re: Am I wrong?</a>:
    [QUOTE]People will say that it doesn't matter who is paying as much as it matters who is "hosting". A lot of times, it is easier to put "together with their parents" than to piss off family members and get into fights over a line on an invite that people will barely read. Nobody helped with my brother's wedding and they put "<strong>together with their families</strong>" because they knew it would make everyone happy.  My mom (and maybe FI's mom) will be contributing some to our wedding but we won't have any parents' names on the invite. For him, it's super important that it's us hosting and that it's only our names on the invites. I told him his mom won't be happy, but it's apparently a hill worth dying on for him. 
    Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]

    <div>I like this... Thank you! FI really doesn't care, and I wasn't sure what to do! </div>
    ~Soon to become Mrs. O'Kane!~
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    Yes. I would say to write whatever results in the greatest good for your situation! We kind of did the same as beardown's brother. Neither of our parents are contributing a penny. However, we put "Together With Their Parents" on our invites. For us it was just a nice, respectful gesture towards our parents. I personally felt like my Mom would be embarrassed if there were no mention of her or my Dad. In retrospect.....I think I should have put 'Together with their Families' as his sister and brother-in-law very sweetly bought our rings...... Argh!
    "Always be kinder than you think is necessary, for you never know what personal battles people are fighting."
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    I really love the idea of Together With Their Families but my dad, who has suddenly become very traditional, wants everyone to know that he's paying for it and so he wants my parents first named only at least ?? on the invite. It makes no sense to me, and it looks dumb, and I think that they should have to deal with all the RSVPs if they want to be the hosts so badly. Anyway. All that being said, Together With Their Families would be a really nice gesture.
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    My dad paid for 99% of the wedding; my husband's parents didn't contribute at all. We still put "Together with their families" so as not to step on anyone's toes. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    I was originally going to have just my parents listed and the invites passed through their first couple of inspections with no questions, just some little tweaks.  Then FSIL asked why her parents weren't listed so I decided that it was better to include everyone then to have anyone feel slighted for being excluded.
     
    We used the following wording:

    Mr. and Mrs. Blank Smith
    Request the Honour of Your Prescence
    At the Marriage of their Daughter
    First Middle
    to
    First Middle Last
    Son Of
    Mr. and Mrs. Blank Jones

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    I just did mine today & put "together with their families..." that way nobody was left out.
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    Same as Addie, we did "Together with our Families". My parents are paying for everything, but my mother who picked invitations out with me suggested the wording. My fiance didn't care about wording.
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    Us and my (bride's) parents are footing 90% of the bill.. and we did it this way.

    "MR. AND MRS. BRIDE'S PARENTS 
    request the honour of your presence
     at the marriage of their daughter
     BRIDE
     to
     GROOM
    son of MR. AND MRS. GROOM'S PARENTS
    DATE... PLACE.. ETC."

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    Oh, sorry... just realized mine was the same as KiwiKelly's so... dido :)
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