Inviting friends to one shower or two?

polichik

CN: One shower in Minneapolis, one in Chicago. Most of my friends live in one city and visit the other frequently. Should I invite friends to both showers to give them multiple dates to choose from, or would it be rude by making them feel obligated to attend both?

My FMIL's sister is hosting a shower for me in Chicago on July 10th. My mom's best friend is hosting a shower for me in Minneapolis on June 26th (both are Saturdays). I know that my friends and BMs want to come to a shower, but I'm not sure if I should invite them to both or just one.

I wouldn't want them to feel at all obligated to attend both of them (let alone get two gifts!), but I was thinking it might help them to have two dates/locations to choose from, in case one date won't work with their schedules. I certainly wouldn't expect people to travel for just the shower, but most of my friends shuttle back and forth between the two cities over the summer to visit family, friends, etc. Some of my friends are also living in Iowa or Wisconsin, which are about 3-4 hours away from both cities.

I hope this makes sense! WWYD?

sarahmk5

I'd give them 2 to choose from.  That's what I'm doing.  They'll understand that you're just trying to help them out.

ETA: They also may surprise you.  My friends said they wanted to come to both.

ohwhynot

I'd invite them to the shower where they live.  For those in between, I'd choose one or the other, but not both. If someone sends regrets and says that she's really, really bummed out about not being at the shower, you might mention the other shower, but I'd tread lightly just in case she was just being polite. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-friends-one-shower-two?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e2079f2-eb16-4407-861d-3ab692556e4aPost:1b96d872-9912-4274-825e-9e897a18a4cd">Re: Inviting friends to one shower or two?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd invite them to the shower where they live.  For those in between, I'd choose one or the other, but not both. If someone sends regrets and says that she's really, really bummed out about not being at the shower, you might mention the other shower, but I'd tread lightly just in case she was just being polite. 
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

I agree. If I was invited to both, I'd feel like you wanted me to come to both, not one or the other. And since other people are sending out invitations, I'm not sure how you could even give them the option, unless you did it after the fact, when they may have already made a decision.

[Deleted User]

I was in a similar situation but explained to them I was sending them two invitations so they could choose whichever was convenient for them. 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-friends-one-shower-two?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e2079f2-eb16-4407-861d-3ab692556e4aPost:ef034049-35f6-4304-942a-0202f981d5ca">Re: Inviting friends to one shower or two?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inviting friends to one shower or two? : I agree. If I was invited to both, I'd feel like you wanted me to come to both, not one or the other. And <strong>since other people are sending out invitations, I'm not sure how you could even give them the option,</strong> unless you did it after the fact, when they may have already made a decision.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I just called or emailed my wp and explained the situation. 

tenofcups4me

I'd just invite them to one.

[Deleted User]

You know your WP best but would they really pick a shower miles away vs their hometown?  If you think it would be easier, just invite them to the one.

ETA: I re-read the bottom, I think giving them both options would be helpful.

polichik

If I were to invite them to both, I'd definitely call each person and let them know I didn't expect them to go to both. I wouldn't expect them to drive randomly for a shower (I might, but I have an easier schedule than most), but most of my BMs/friends grew up in Minneapolis but now live in Chicago, so they go back to visit family frequently. Random, right?

squirrly

I'd have the hostesses mail the invites to the one closest to home, but feel free to email them with both dates & who to contact if they want to "switch showers".  Then it's a little more clear that you're being flexible but not expecing multiple gifts.

polichik

Good idea, squirrly!

squirrly

::curtsies::

danieliza1127

Yeah, what Squirrly said.