Wedding Etiquette Forum

What special thing could I do for my father instead of walking down the aisle?

Like a lot of people now a days, my parents have been divorced since I was seven. They had joint custody until I was 13 and from then unitl I moved out, I stayed predominantly with my mother and step father. Until the last few years, I have not been as close to my bio father since I was much younger. However, my step father and I are very close. I have decided that since I have been closer to my step father for so long and through out the most important times in my life(not to mention that he is also footing the bill for the wedding), that I would let him walk me down the aisle. I'm not really sure how to break this to my bio father. I want to do something special for him that gives him a little bit of the spotlight too, but I'm not really sure what I can do. Any suggestions on how to tell him or what I can do to make him stand out as a FOB too? Thanks! 

Re: What special thing could I do for my father instead of walking down the aisle?

  • I just went to a wedding where the bride had her stepfather walk her part way and her bio dad walk her part way.  It worked well for her.



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  • Well you could always let them both walk you down.

    Or just do a father daughter dance.
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  • You could let your Step-Dad walk you down the aisle and then do a father/daughter dance with your Dad at the reception. 

    Although, honestly, I think you need to be prepared for hurt feelings no matter what.  Decide what you want to say to him and stick to your guns if you really feel that strongly about your SD walking you down the aisle.
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  • My cousin also had both dads walk her down and when they asked "who gives this girl away" or whatever they said "we do."  Similar situation too - she lived mostly with the step dad but wanted to recognize her bio dad as well.  They were good sports about it, as well, which helped.  Not sure all dads would be.  But if they can be I think that may be considerate and a way not to exclude one or the other.  Not sure what you woul then do about first dance...  2 shorter songs?  But I think if you excluded one you may have hurt feelings...
  • A friend of mine had her stepdad and her dad walk her down the aisle together.  One on each side.  Seemed to work out nicely.  Also, made it so nobody's feelings were hurt.  They both gave her away together.
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  • Well, the first thought I had was to have them both walk me down the aisle or do half and half, but they don't really get along and my SD doesn't really feel comfortable with that because my bio dad may make a scene. They don't really get along and my bio dad can sometimes be a little immature about things (especially when my step mother is around). I'm doing the father daughter dance with both of them and I'm letting my bio dad have the first half of the song and my SD is fine with dancing the second half, but I'm worried that my dad may try to not let me do the dance with my SD as well. My FMIL wants us all (wedding party and out of town family included)to go to mass the night before the wedding, so I thought that mayeb he could read something there and that would also make him stand out as a FOB, but he doesn't go to curch and I'm not really sure how to ask him to come.
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