How do I uninvite the uninvited?

itakethee

My finance and I are working on our list of who to invite to the wedding.  We have it down except one person that we keep going back and forth on.  He wants to invite his friend that has not been particularly friendly to me (and I only use "friendly" since all other words would be inappropriate for the boards).  I am completely against inviting them.  I have a feeling that they are already assuming they are invited.  How do I prevent a disaster between me and my fiance?  And how do we tell someone that they aren't invited when it's clear that they think they are?  This is something I am firmly adamant about. 

JessAndTrav

You don't send them an invite.

If they show up, have someone ask them to leave.

lyndausvi

is this a trick question?

Just do not send them an invite.  Do not talk about your wedding to them.

crfische

If you're firmly adamant about it, why are you going back and forth?

ExpatPumpkin

I guess you just don't send them an invite and that should clue them in...

I'm confused, though.  You hate this person because he's deeply disrespected you?  But your fiance is okay with that and still wants to invite him?  Your bigger problem might be with your fiance

Night_Sprite

You and your fiance need to have a compromise like adults.  Either he should respect your feelings or you should suck it up.  Figure it out. 

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uninvite-uninvited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e93c3ae-a229-4152-88a2-4ae8e80e4784Post:6ff68d30-0055-497a-9c7d-6e04d1f4bd8e">How do I uninvite the uninvited?</a>:
[QUOTE]My finance and I are working on our list of who to invite to the wedding.  We have it down except one person that we keep going back and forth on.  He wants to invite his friend that has not been particularly friendly to me (and I only use "friendly" since all other words would be inappropriate for the boards).  I am completely against inviting them.  I have a feeling that they are already assuming they are invited.  How do I prevent a disaster between me and my fiance?  And how do we tell someone that they aren't invited when it's clear that they think they are?  This is something I am firmly adamant about. 
Posted by itakethee[/QUOTE]


<em>Adamant.  </em>
You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means.

EmmaBride2B

So I'm guessing the question is how do you settle this with your fiance? How about talk to him? You're going to have way more important differences of opinion in your marriage - is this really worth fighting about? 

Has his friend really been that terrible, or is he just not your favorite person?

mscutieri

If my FI had a friend that was seriously disrespectful to me, guess what? He wouldn't be friends with the person anymore -- not because I tell him not to, but because he loves me enough to know that disrespect is not acceptable.  The same goes if it was the other way around.

jkara525

This can go one of two ways.  If the guy is a total jerk off to you and really disrespects you and him and your fiance aren't really good friends but just hang out sometimes don't invite him.  So what if he expects to be invited.  If hes so much of a jerk your fiancee won't care if they never speak again.

On the other hand, if you kind of just don't like him because he gets too drunk and says inappropriate things but is a good friend to your fiance you will need to invite him.  He might not be your favorite person but is he terrible?  Like really awful?  If so...why is he friends with your fiance?  These situations are not absolute...I think we need more context here....

mandysmear

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_uninvite-uninvited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e93c3ae-a229-4152-88a2-4ae8e80e4784Post:8c6954b9-6aab-485f-a932-39da15fd7245">Re: How do I uninvite the uninvited?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to How do I uninvite the uninvited? : Adamant.  You keep using that word.  <strong>I do not think it means what you think it means.</strong>
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

DED.