Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

What if I don't want a big wedding?

I really don't know what to do. I have a big family and so does my fiance. But even though everyone wants to be apart and all, we both just want everyone to come. We don't care for the bridal party and all of that. I just want an elegant ceremony and a fun reception. 

I am a hopeless romantic so the ceremony is personal to me and I want it to be intimate, ya know? How do I relay this to my traditional parents who want a big everything? We have the both sites confirmed, but I just don't know what to do. Then my fiance, he just wants his family to come. He is not that interested in a bridal party either but will compromise to keep me happy. 

Can anyone help? please?

Re: What if I don't want a big wedding?

  • TiffannieFTiffannieF member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2012
    I'm not sure what you are asking.  You guys have a big family but you don't want everybody to come because you want to have a wedding but not that big?  I don't understand your family wants to be apart but you guys want every one to come yet you don't want a big wedding?

    Who is paying for the wedding?  If its your parents then by accepting their gift you are kind of obligated to do their wishes since they are the hosts.  If it's you guys you can run the wedding whatever way you and your FI want.

    You can elope and have just a reception or a small ceremony on a different day then reception later.

    You don't have to have a large bridal party but I would suggest at least a BM and a MOH.  We had only 2 on each side and it was perfect.

    ETA:  Your ceremony can be however initimate as possible regardless of how many people are there.  I don't think I've ever understood the "initimate" ceremony...you are not getting married to a bunch of people there are only 3 people involved: you, your FI, and the officiant.  Family is just their as witnesses and they don't do anything but watch....whether it is 1 witness or 100 or 300...they all do the same thing.... 
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  • I'm slightly confused but I think what it sounds like you want is a private, intimate ceremony and then a celebration with all your friends and family. And there is nothing wrong with that as long as you keep the invitation list to the ceremony truly small and intimate, 15 or less. And then invtie everyone to the celebration afterwards or even on another day.

    Personally, I would sit your parents down and explain exactly what you and your fiance want. After you two have sat down together and decided exactly what you two want. Don't consider what they want, it is what you want. Unless they are paying, then they get a say.

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  • I agree with the posts! we are having a small ceremony in Savannah, we are leaving Atlanta to call it an elopement, just parents, my 2 kids and our 2 dogs.. its going to be perfect, small intimate, candles, Im so excited.. then we'll have a nice dinner after with a small wedding cake, then back to Atlanta and a dinner reception probably 2 weeks out with other family and friends- i plan to post pictures at the reception, a bigger cake- a toast, a wedding dance, and might even wear my dress again! and its a lot cheaper.. our ceremony weekend we're spending about 4000 and the reception around 3-4000 so all in all 8000 for exactly what I want! 
    good luck!
  • Thank you everyone for the advice. It has helped a lot. Sorry about the numerous posts. New to the boards but I get it now.

    Happy Wedding Planning!
  • I am not having a big wedding either.  I plan to have a small ceremony for about 30 people and then have a lunch or dinner thing.  Then have a big party back at my parents house later on. 
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