Wedding Etiquette Forum

Re: nm

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    edited February 2013
    It sounds like you've made every reasonable accommodate to ask them.  I would phone one final time with an absolute date.  I would not make accommodations to create an extra table ro place cards.  If you have enough food for those who are invited that should be enough.
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    It sounds like they aren't coming, but if they do, your caterer and venue are and should be ready to deal with this.  Caterers typically make more food than necessary and venues can whip up seats rather easily. 

    If you are doing things on your own (as in set up, clean up, rented everything yourself without a venue staff), then I'd be sure to have a few extra seats at one table just in case.
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    I would phone them again with an absolute date and tell them that if they don't confirm the number of butts that will need accommodation by said date, you will not be able to accommodate them at all the day of. End of story. Also, does your FI share his family's mentality of blanket invitations, etc.? He is the one who needs to be putting his foot down with his family over this.
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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-to-do-when-guests-who-didnt-rsvp-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0f79fccc-764f-4205-9fd0-322d5163410dPost:58bd2c64-9b91-4f82-9fe7-db00c6a0caf4">Re: What to do when guests who didn't RSVP come</a>:
    [QUOTE]Remember that after the date has passed, they're essentially crashing your wedding. If someone you never invited showed up, would you go out of your way to make room for them or any other stranger?
    Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]

    Honestly, if I invited people who I had hard time getting an RSVP back from (for whatever reason) and they showed up, I would most definitely host them.  It's easier to whip up a chair and a meal than it would be for me to publically kick them out of my wedding.  I wanted them there and I'd make them feel welcome to best of my ability.

    But, that's me - other people can make their own judgment calls.  And, I can honestly say that if someone else showed up that I knew but was not invited, I'd lean towards hosting them instead of asking them to leave.  Of course you can't do that for twenty people, but one or two?  I'd let it slide.  But, I can understand if someone else draws their line differently.
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    I guess for me it depends on how many more people you are being asked to accommodate at the last minute and what accommodations they are asking for.

    For, let's say, five or less, I could probably hack it.  For more than that, I would not be willing to hunt for extras for them-they'll have to accept whatever we can provide that's left over from entertaining the guests who did RSVP.  If they don't like that, well, those are the circumstances resulting from their not RSVPing and playing mind games.
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