Need your opinions please

amandaloren

 We have been engaged for a year already and our wedding is 5 months away. We asked our wedding party to be involved last year. Up untill last night I thought everything was still good. A fiance of one of the gm's doesn't want him in the wedding. We have talked with him about wedding plans plenty of times and this never came up. She said I was inconsiderate for asking him to be in the wedding with out thinking about other people's situations. I don't understand this because he didn't have to say yes and I have no way of knowing other peoples personal situations. Anyways, we had messaged back and forth on facebook and I'm sure you don't want to read it all so I didn't post it. The point is I think she isn't going to allow him to be in our wedding and unless he stands up to her we are minus one gm. Would it be rude to ask another guy? We were thinking of asking my brother from usher to gm. Is this to late in the game to involve another gm?

kate51485

If he's unable to be in it, it's okay to have uneven sides.

danieliza1127

Weird, what personal situation would keep him from being in your wedding?

With 5 months left to go, I don't think it would be so terrible to ask your brother to be a groomsman instead of usher but a lot of people will say you shouldn't replace the groomsman that's dropping out.  If it were last minute, I would say don't replace him, but 5 months is still a while to go.  As long as you think your brother won't be offended to be a replacement, I don't see a problem with it.  Just realize that once it's done, it's done.  If the GM who is dropping out changes his mind and wants back in, too bad so sad. 

shellydiane820

Don't ask another guy.  Its rude to the placeholder.  Just have uneven sides.

scoetto

I'm with Dani on this one. I think it's ok to ask your brother this far out, if he's even interested. But if the other guy wants back in you can't demote your brother back down to usher.

amandaloren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1001aa32-1232-41b8-a1ea-52257e77f3dbPost:6cb37f06-d3cd-423e-a2cc-8c8c8f8b4018">Re: Need your opinions please</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Weird, what personal situation would keep him from being in your wedding?</strong> With 5 months left to go, I don't think it would be so terrible to ask your brother to be a groomsman instead of usher but a lot of people will say you shouldn't replace the groomsman that's dropping out.  If it were last minute, I would say don't replace him, but 5 months is still a while to go.  As long as you think your brother won't be offended to be a replacement, I don't see a problem with it.  Just realize that once it's done, it's done.  If the GM who is dropping out changes his mind and wants back in, too bad so sad. 
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

I really think she is jealous he is in the wedding and she isn't. She doesn't want him walking down the aisle with another girl. AFter we got engaged she even called me I am pretty sure was fishing around for me to ask her to be in the wedding. So as of right now it looks like I have 5 bm's and 3 gm.

jennylove810

Why is this chick even getting involved?  Won't "allow" her FI to be in the wedding?  She sounds like a real sweetheart.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1001aa32-1232-41b8-a1ea-52257e77f3dbPost:8f6c5dae-bf1d-4042-abd6-ae34ec672ce6">Re: Need your opinions please</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need your opinions please : I really think she is jealous he is in the wedding and she isn't. She doesn't want him walking down the aisle with another girl.
Posted by amandaloren[/QUOTE]

Oh geez, give me a break.  That chick has some growing up to do.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1001aa32-1232-41b8-a1ea-52257e77f3dbPost:8f6c5dae-bf1d-4042-abd6-ae34ec672ce6">Re: Need your opinions please</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need your opinions please : I really think she is jealous he is in the wedding and she isn't. <strong>She doesn't want him walking down the aisle with another girl</strong>. AFter we got engaged she even called me I am pretty sure was fishing around for me to ask her to be in the wedding. So as of right now it looks like I have 5 bm's and 3 gm.
Posted by amandaloren[/QUOTE]

Girls like this make me want to stab my eyes out with a fork.  Her husband sees and walks with other women all day long.  What will happen on a trip down the aisle?  He'll accidently fall on top of her and they'll have sex?  Yup - totally a legit concern.

amandaloren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1001aa32-1232-41b8-a1ea-52257e77f3dbPost:b5354c78-8ce7-4166-9f2c-6360f6aace3a">Re: Need your opinions please</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need your opinions please : Girls like this make me want to stab my eyes out with a fork.  Her husband sees and walks with other women all day long.  What will happen on a trip down the aisle?  <strong>He'll accidently fall on top of her and they'll have sex?</strong>  Yup - totally a legit concern.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

LOL, thank you! I needed a laugh today to lift my spirits!

baystateapple

I can't understand people like this.  It's a 10 second walk down the aisle, 10 seconds back.  Get over it.

amandaloren

In case you are interested I posted the conversation I had with her on my other board. It is long just to warn you...

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/34981449.aspx

FutureMrsTR

That is ridiculous, but I'm not completely surprised.  I was the MOH in my best friend's wedding 3 years ago and her FI's brother was the Best Man.  The BM's wife (she was 19 or 20 I think) was pissed because I was "pretty" and she didn't want me walking with her husband.  Bite me, sweetie.

I agree with Dani that it's ok to ask your brother at this point, but don't change things after that if the other GM wants back in.  

Also, someone should tell him to run away from that chick as fast as he can.

Stackeye210

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1001aa32-1232-41b8-a1ea-52257e77f3dbPost:805a1fbc-ed4e-42bb-8fc9-0317c052b1ae">Re: Need your opinions please</a>:
[QUOTE]In case you are interested I posted the conversation I had with her on my other board. It is long just to warn you... <a href="http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/34981449.aspx" rel="nofollow">http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/34981449.aspx</a>
Posted by amandaloren[/QUOTE]

You handled that pretty perfectly.  I mean how does someone drop out of a wedding and NOT tell the people getting married.  She sounds lovely.

aMrsin09

Thank You.  That made for quite the interesting read.

I have no advice other than agreeing with Dani, but please do post the ridiculous updates she is bound to send you.

salt78

Are you TTC or actually pregnant?

Just wondering because you want us to vote for your baby names and all. 

psichick

my question though is how can this guy be a good enough friend to be a GM yet your FI doesn't even have his correct phone number?

she sounds perfectly insane btw. that's a relationship that's going to last lol. i know a girl that's just like that. everyone hates her, well for many reasons, but a major one is that she's so needy, clingy and immature. poor thing. well no i don't really feel sorry for her.

kikibaby

I'm gonna go with Dani here, too.  I'd usually say don't replace, but... you've got awhile and this is a weird situation.  That chick is nuts. 

BTW, I like your baby names list- a friend of ours just had a daughter and named her Emerson.

BecW2be

Your GM needs to grow a set and tell her to stop being a manipulative, controling little bitch. If he doesn't do this by the wedding, then I don't think you need to replace him, but you do have time to ask your brother, if you like. I'd also be very tempted to send a good single girlfriend over to ex-GM during the reception to ask him to dance, right in front of CrazyGF. But I'm evil, so there's that....

Emerson's is the name of my town's boobie bar, so I can't vote for that.

amandaloren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1001aa32-1232-41b8-a1ea-52257e77f3dbPost:5c94da96-b2ea-4d19-a99f-3f66e6055886">Re: Need your opinions please</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you TTC or actually pregnant? Just wondering because you want us to vote for your baby names and all. 
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
Neither lol I was just bored at work and made the baby name list. We are not currently ttc till after the wedding. But I am active on the bump ttc board to get to know the ladies before we actually ttc.

kikibaby

But Bec, then crazy GF would probably stab your single friend in the eye and eat her face.  That would suck.

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1001aa32-1232-41b8-a1ea-52257e77f3dbPost:d2687643-f044-4f1d-93c2-13c75481e320">Re: Need your opinions please</a>:
[QUOTE]But Bec, then crazy GF would probably stab your single friend in the eye and eat her face.  That would suck.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

Thanks, Kiki, I needed a laugh this morning :)

BecW2be

You don't know my single girlfriends, kiki. They can handle their own, trust me. Half the fun would be taking care of little Crazy after she attacked.

amandaloren

LOL, I am that evil too. I would send over my bm that she hates to ask him to dance hehe (He even requested to walk down the aisle with this bm because he knew it would light a fire under his fiance's ass) We thought we had his correct number but he hasn't talked to him in about a month because we assumed he was really busy with his new job. But when we tried calling him last night there was no answer and the machine was the automated leave a message and not his voice. So I don't know...My fiance is going to call again today and if there is still no anser he is going to try calling Diane to find out what going on...Ill post the update:)

kikibaby

Crazypants probably made him change his number or something. 

wcvsb3b5

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1001aa32-1232-41b8-a1ea-52257e77f3dbPost:e40b737b-7be4-4272-9fb5-e2cb36238bec">Re: Need your opinions please</a>:
[QUOTE]Your GM needs to grow a set and tell her to stop being a manipulative, controling little bitch. If he doesn't do this by the wedding, then I don't think you need to replace him, but you do have time to ask your brother, if you like. I'd also be very tempted to send a good single girlfriend over to ex-GM during the reception to ask him to dance, right in front of CrazyGF. But I'm evil, so there's that.... Emerson's is the name of my town's boobie bar, so I can't vote for that.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

Perfect! GM needs to drop her crazy ass.

amandaloren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-opinions-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1001aa32-1232-41b8-a1ea-52257e77f3dbPost:a36e2093-0bbf-41d6-884a-18c49d18fd44">Re: Need your opinions please</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need your opinions please : Perfect! GM needs to drop her crazy ass.
Posted by wcvsb3b5[/QUOTE]

I don't know how their relationship is now, but as of a couple months ago he said the only reason he was with her was because his boy is bff's with her boy and they all live together. He is staying with her for his son. He also said the only reason he asked her to marry him was so she would calm down and stop nagging him. Maybe they are truly in love now, but I doubt it. And no they are not kids, they are both mid 30's.