Too early?

sillynut

Im sending out my invites next Wed. Wedding is Oct 16th. Its a Friday, thats why I thought to give people extra notice to take off work if they need/want to. The RSVP date is Sept 5th. Is that too soon? Does it give people enough time to respond?I need to decide on a menu 6 weeks before the wedding. I was kinda of hoping to decide on the menu based on how many people are coming to the wedding, basically cant afford to feed everyone the premium meal.My invites are done so its not like I can change it or anything but now Im wondering if people will think Im a tool. Im not severly stressing about it at all, Im just curious. In my area it seems people send out their invites longer than the knot norm of 6 weeks before the wedding.

V6CamaroGirl

I seriously think you're a tool.

beersnob

Take a breath. If you were concerned about the Friday part you should of A. not had it on Friday or B. sent STDs. I do think it is a little early

bbyckes

I don't think it's too soon to send out your invites.  Just keep in mind that you probablyet all you won't get a 100% return on your RSVPs.If you're wondering about your menu, why not go with  a choice you can afford if all your guests show.

bbyckes

* sorry, that should be: probably won't get

tlv204

I think it's too early.  The "norm" to me is 8 weeks.   Sept. 5th is pretty to RSVP.  Most people won't know if they can come or not by then, and you'll probably have to call a butt load of people just to have them tell you they don't know yet.

kelseymw

A lot of weddings in my area send out their invites sooner than the "knot norm", too. I would wait until Mid-August to send them and have a Mid-September RSVP date. One month before the wedding isn't too soon and you should have a fair idea of guest count at 6 weeks out (2 weeks before the RSVP deadline)... unless you have a bunch of people who wait until the last few days. Or as PP said, another option would be to just pick a cheaper menu. It would probably be a lot less stress for you if you didn't put that big of decision off.

sillynut

no I was never concerned with it being on a Friday, I just thought Id let people know early. I said Im not stressing, I dont need to breath or anything, I just wanted opinions.Thanks to those that gave them.my budget has changed since the start of the planning process due to FI being laid off, thats why we are trying to save the $$ a bit if we can.

ootmother2

I suggest wainting another month.

sucrets4

That seems awfully early to rsvp.  imho, you should decide on the menu you can afford, assuming most of your guests are coming.  Understand that having an rsvp date that early might lead to more no shows because it's super early.  Fwiw, we had ours ready to go and couldn't wait until 8 weeks, so we sent them out at 9, but our rsvp date was only about 3 weeks before the wedding.

sucrets4

if you're trying to save $, then you should without a doubt go with the cheapest menu options possible, with it still being good. 

sillynut

If I wait til mid Aug now, then they will only have 2 weeks to decide if they are coming, can get an afternoon off work if they choose to. Is that enough time? Like I said my invites are printed with a RSVP date of Sept 5th. Im not paying to get them changed.

Nebb

I would think that even though you might rsvp yes, a lot can change in over a months time. Hell, be glad if people even remember after 2 months from the time they got the invitation that inevitably gets left on a table and covered with stuff. Sidenote, that depresses me that its october in 2 months.

sucrets4

Looks like you already made this decision with keeping your rsvp date set in stone.

mwhitson14

You need to go ahead and provide a menu you can afford. Don't send your invites out really early and have an RSVP that early just because you want to see what kind of food you can afford to feed people. If you want to send them out early, no earlier than 8 weeks, and your RSVP date should be about 3 weeks before the wedding. You can't ask someone to make a committment to be at your wedding 6 weeks before the wedding.

tbh33

I wouldn't mind getting an invite this early.  Although, you risk having some friends like me that may lose it (I'm not sure I could keep up with my head if it wasn't attached).Also, I think you definitely need to push the RSVP date back and go ahead and choose a menu that you could afford if 100% showed.  That way if not everyone shows, then more money is saved which helps you since your FI was laid off.  I know when I used to work in a restaurant I wouldn't necessarily know until a week or 2 before if I had gotten a requested day off.  Some family and friends may also have this problem, and will not be able to RSVP yes/no for sure.  By doing this, you definitely run the risk of having no shows, or some people may decide to call last minute (after final head count) and say that they will be able to come which would end up costing you more money.  I know it isn't the best manners, but I wouldn't put it past anyone since you gave such an early RSVP date.

temerityjane

I've got to echo what everyone else says. I'm really excited about my eventual wedding, but there are very, VERY few people in the group of people I am inviting who will be even a fraction as excited as I am. They're not counting down days and planning vacation time around it. It's got to be closer to the date so that one, they have an idea of their upcoming schedule (and their priorities - again, there are very few people to whom your wedding is automatically priority #1) and two, so that they'll even remember it's coming.

mwhitson14

Well, if you've already set the RSVP date in stone, then I would wait to send out a month before.Expect to have to call a lot of people though, I never know whether I can have off work for that month til the actual month arrives, depending on other people's schedules.

lmgarber

I sent out my invites early and had as RSVP about a month before the wedding.  I was so happy that I got all of the RSVP's on time but about 1-2 weeks before the wedding I had 13 people (4 families) call and back out.  Some for good reasons (death in the family) and some for bad reasons.  Luckily my reception place was great and I didn't have to pay for any of them. So since you can't change the RSVP date, just be aware that even though they might say they are coming that early, they might back out. Also I would send the invites about a month before the RSVP date.

Kate Christiansen

just send them now.  it'll make you feel better and it probably wont make that big of a deal in the long run.  i sent mine out pretty early, about 2.5 months because i wanted them back a month before the wedding.  for a guest list of 200, i only had to call 3 couples.  not bad if you ask me!

Beadlz

I would wait a week or two.  Our wedding is on Oct. 17th and we aren't sending invites till Mid August.  I understand your dilemma though with finances, my FI was laid off as well.  But I would imagine it would be best to plan your menu now for what you can afford, and always assume everyone will show up--I have been to weddings where not only did everyone show up, but so did some people who weren't invited--that way if less people RSVP then you expect you can save a bit of money for something else. Is there a reason you chose not to send STD's?

sillynut

Thanks for all the advice ladies Happy Planning