Wedding Etiquette Forum

Babies

I haven't been lurking in a while so I hope something similar wasn't posted recently.  My one bridesmaid just found out she's pregnant!  I'm so excited for her!  She is due 1 month before the wedding.  She plans on having her MIL or her mom watch the baby during the ceremony and then she will take the baby to the reception.  (I know, its early to be planning these things, but she's like that.)Well, FI and I decided we don't want to have any kids at the ceremony or reception...no matter what age.  There are only 2 other babies and a child in both of our families so we figured it wouldn't be too difficult to just say no to kids. Should I tell my bridesmaid what we decided and have her not bring the baby to the reception?  Or, should we give in and let all 3 babies & 1 child go?  (babies at the time of wedding will be 1 month, 1 year, 18 months, and child will be 6)TIA!
BabyFetus Ticker
«1

Re: Babies

  • If she can't have her baby there, she probably will leave right away and be pissed.  Parent's don't like to leave thier kids that young.  Make an exception for all kids under a year (or so... other ladies will know better)
    image
    No amount of education could convince Betty to be nice to possums
  • 3 babies and a child?  Do you really think you'll notice them?  You can do whatever you want, but be prepared for your BM to decline her "honor" to be with her very young, likely nursing infant.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • Seriously?  You want to tell your good friend who is standing up for you in your wedding that she has to leave her 1 MONTH OLD child at home. 
  • It's very rude to ask a mother to leave her 1 month old baby at home.  Especially when she's probably nursing the child.
  • I don't know, the kids thing is a touchy subject. Some people get really offended when you tell them you don't want their rugrat there. And 1 month old would be hard for her to leave at home.... Gosh, sorry I am no help.
  • Oh and if there are only there, it would really be easiest just to invite them all. 
    image
    No amount of education could convince Betty to be nice to possums
  • Breastfeeding babies should always be an exception.  I don't think you're going to notice the little ones anyway.
    Holy Crap. We survived the first year!
    http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
    image
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I think there is a huge difference in saying "no children" and "no infant babies."  If you plan to tell her the baby can't come, do so fully expecting that she will not come either.  That's awfully soon to expect her to let someone else care for him, let alone the fact she may HAVE to be with him if she is nursing.  I'm usually not for letting other people's circumstances dictate your decisions, but with so few children antyways, I think it would be easier to just let the other three come and call it a day.  Whats more important to you, that these three children aren't there or that your good friend and bridesmaid is?

    image

    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
  • I can defnitely see how a 1 month old baby of your BM would put a damper on your pretty princess day.  Hmmm, I would wait to tell her she can't bring the baby when you go see her in the hospital.  Really?  You would be THAT selfish.
  • I appreciate all of your quick answers.  I really am not trying to be rude.  I'd rather cave in and let all of them come.  You're right, I probably wont notice them there...well, maybe the 6 year old.  Any other perspectives, opinions, thoughts?Keep it nice please.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • She is your bridesmaid so she is an exception, I wouldn't tell her that she couldn't bring her child to the reception. As for the rest of the kids, if it was me I would invite them, my guess is some of them will get sitters.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Keep it nice please.Don't boss me around missy! Kidding.
    image
  • Momo--- thanks for assuming I want a pretty pretty princess day.  I'm only asking for your thoughts and opinions...not to be judged be someone that I will never meet.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • She is going to want to be with her baby...especially if she is breastfeeding. Be prepared for her to miss the reception if you tell her no kids.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • I don't think you have to invite the 6 year old.  He or she will be bored to death if there are no other children there, and his or her mom would probably be fine leaving him or her with a sitter.  But you should allow all breastfeeding mothers to bring their babies.
  • Momo - you're SOOOOOO MEAN!!!111!!!!
    Holy Crap. We survived the first year!
    http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
    image
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Our officient just had a baby 3 weeks ago and has asked to bring the baby with her due to breast feeding.  We are fine with it. Her hubby will be there so that if need be, he can take her out during the ceremony.
  • To be completely honest, if I had a 6 year old and knew he/she would be the only child at a wedding, I'd find a sitter and leave junior at home.  But I also think it's silly to say "no kids" when there's really only 3 kids.  Because to me, BM's infant doesn't even count and her being able to bring him/her goes without saying.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • Thank you everyone.  You helped me to make up my mind.  I appreciate it!
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • Just wondering, does she still want to be a BM?  I'm only asking because any dress she buys probably won't fit right a month after having a baby.  Plus, with all the stuff that goes into caring for a new (as in brand spanking new) baby you will need to be extra understanding if she can't do things like make it to your bachelorette party or bridal showers.
    image

    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

  • Sorry was it was a stupid question and deserved a stupid response.  It's a hot button issue for me.  You should have know better.  She is your friend and BM with a 30 day old baby. Really?! 
  • If all the children combined only totals 4, invite them all.
    Crosswalk
  • I'm really glad I'm having the kind of wedding that easily accommodates children. These are lines I would not be comfortable drawing. I would DEFINITELY allow a breastfeeding bridesmaid to bring her infant with her.
  • I am mean and I can't type/spell. :)
  • Put yourself in your BM's shoes.  Do whatever you think you'd want one of your friends to do for you.  Keep in mind that at 1 month there are very few mothers who will just dance off and leave their kid for the night, especially if she plans to breastfeed the baby.  If you only have 3 babies/kids that would be there I would just invite them and call it good, its not like you'd be adding a hoard of kids.
  • Nugget, I told her that if she wants to be up there with me and FI she is more than welcome but I am very understanding if she doesn't want to be standing and she'd rather be with her baby.  Taking another look at the post, I'm not going to agree with momo and say it was a "stupid" question but it wasn't thoughtful to my BM's situation.  There are other older children/teenagers in the family that are not going to be invited because I do want to have a small gathering.   That the older children/teenagers are not invited has been decided and will remain.  However, after receiving all of your insight into the issue, it will be silly of me to not allow the babies, especially breastfeeding ones.  Thank you again.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • Okay, but if you're back on the boards a month before the wedding complaining about her not being at your bridal shower/bachelorette party/able to fit in her dress I'm going to flame you so hard.  FYI.
    image

    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

  • If it were me, I would make an exception for a breast-feeding 1 month old. I think anyone who saw a baby that young would understand why no one else's were invited. The others you could probably get away w/ not inviting. If it's the 6 yr old you're worried about, then you have to make the cutoff at the newborn, otherwise invite them all.
  • I would just let the kids come.  We had 2 newborns and several kids at our ceremony and reception and we had absolutely no problems at all.  The newborns slept most of the entire reception and the older kids just danced their little hearts out.If you tell your BM that she can't bring the baby, you will probably hurt her feelings and I would bet money that she'll leave the reception early.  That's a long time to be away from a newborn.
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I have a 4 year old and would prefer to leave him with a sitter so that mommy could have a night out. Odds are that the older babies / kids will be with sitters, so I would invite them all.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards