Kids say the darndest things

SarahnVinny

Im watching my best friends 4 year old kid today. I told him he can watch two more shows before his bath (rule at home: wathces one of his shows then one of mommys shows, then bath time.) His first show just ended so he came over to me and told me to put on my show. I told him that he can watch one more of his shows if he wanted instead of mine. His reply: "OH SH!T! you mean i get to watch two?" I tried so hard not to laugh, cursing is highly forbidden at his house but i just couldnthelp myself. Funniest thing youve heard a kid say?

SarahnVinny

it needs to breathe thats priceless! I took my friends kid to a festival tonight, the same one this post was about. We were standing in line for food and he took FI's hand and said" hey vinny, i want to pick up chicks!" I almost died. haha

[Deleted User]

Here are some of my faves from my 4 year old:- "Mommy, I think I have the slime flu"- I wasn't paying attention to the song on the radio and he said "mommy, what is burfday sex?" We don't listen to that channel anymore. -We had this conversation the other day: Ben: Mommy, how did I get born?Me: You grew in my tummy for 9 months and when you were ready, you came out.Ben: How did I get out?Me: You came through my vagina. (I've always used correct terminology  for body parts)Ben: Where's your China? - This was extra funny b/c my sister had just gotten back from a trip to china and he had gone with my mom to pick her up. He thought the airport was China.- The other day we were leaving for a 30 minute trip. I told him to make sure he uses the bathroom be for we go. He said "don't worry mommy, I have a really strong penis. I can hold it."- He calls his privates his pirates.

kmmssg

cew - I love your son!  Those are priceless. My 4 yo GS, Braylon keeps my DD on her toes at all times.  I think he got the advance 2.0 upgrade when he was born on saying the darndest things. 2 of his recent ones: DD:  OK buddy, get in the car, time to go to school (daycare). Braylon pokes around and isn't very cooperative about this.  Daily.  It is especially helpful that Mommy had her hands full with his baby sister, Sophie. DD:  Braylon Christopher!  Why do I have to tell you to get in the car 3 times every day? Braylon:  Because I do it everyday. #2 - On yet another day, DD gets Braylon up to get ready to go to daycare.  He is Mr. Cranky Pants about EVERYTHING, no matter what.  Oxygen, breakfast, washing his face, having to go to the car.  He is being a real pill about even existing. DD drops Sophie at her babysitter's house and proceeds to head to Braylon's.  He is still whining about even existing.  Finally she has had enough and  it goes like this: DD:  Braylon Christopher!  Do you whine like this at school too or is this all just for me?Braylon:  (straight faced and calm now)  Oh, no Mommy.  this is ALL just for you.  

chosen175

I was watching my friend's dd the other day, who just turned 5. She was worried about their new kitten going to get neutered the next day. and informed me that "Jack's going to get his balls cut open and scraped out." Fabulous.

trix1223

**Disclaimer** I teach preschool, so I have hundreds of these.  Almost every day is something awesome.Last year, my most precocious little guy came in very excited about the snowman he and his daddy had built in the yard.  "And Mrs. Trix, I even named it.  Wanna know his name?"  "sure, what's his name".  "Big balls.  Big balls the snowman!!"Another day, a mommy was in the room for playtime.  He brought her a glass from the kitchen set.  She said "How nice, Ethan.  Is this orange juice?"  His reply:  "Nope, it's a cocktail."