NWR: Thoughts on Risking Your Life

ExpatPumpkin

DH and I are watching a documentary about a guy climbing the Matterhorn. In 1966, his father died climbing it, leaving him and his sister young and fatherless. Now, he's climbing it - and he has an 8-year-old daughter. One of his climbing mates is mom to two little girls, ages 2 and 3. This is serious climbing, with ropes, picks, sleeping on the mountain and avalanche threats. I can't help but think it's a bit selfish to take such a risk with your life when you have little ones... What do you think? Would you do it?

louisvillebride21

Nope, not a chance. I've told FI that he has to get all this crap out of his system before we have kids. He wants to go sky diving and bungee jumping. I know those are pretty low risk, but they scare the crap out of me. I don't want to be stuck raising my kids alone because he wanted to get his rocks off risking his life.

Brie2010

He's an idiot.  So is she.At least wait until the kids are grown and self-sufficient if it's your lifelong dream.  You don't have to give it up, just postpone it until it's more practical.  Having seen the financial toll the death of a parent can take on a family with young kids firsthand, it's not pretty.  He's being completely irresponsible.

ExpatPumpkin

The financial toll could be horrible, especially considering that most life insurance policies won't cover death by skydiving, bungee, mountain climbing, etc.

3plus2=5

I agree that there's plenty of things that should be put on hold if you have children.  That's one of the sacrifices (if you want to call it that) you have to make when you take on the responsibility of being a parent.I would love to go skydiving again but I've decided to put that off until the kids are both self-sufficient.  I still fly but I have cut out a lot of the stupid "just for fun" stunts that I used to do prior to having children.  It's just not worth the risk of something going wrong anymore.

ThePinkSuperhero

I'm with you, I don't see why you'd take the risk if you have kids.  I think that every time I see Angelina Jolie getting into one of those little planes to do a flying lesson- I hear she'll even fly the plane with the kids in it!  Those little planes fall out of the sky all the time, scares me to death.

tidetravel

Of course, you could also argue that he has a bigger chance of dying in a car accident on the way to work than dying on the side of a mountain.Of course when you have kids, you shouldn't be wreckless, but at the same time, life can't be put on hold.

tidetravel

Oops.  Too many "of courses"

louisvillebride21

FI uses that argument all the time. I don't see any point in pushing your luck. He could die in an elevator accident....but I see that a little different than jumping out of a perfectly good plane or jumping off a bridge with only a rubberband around his ankle. There's no need to wrap yourself in a bubble, but there's also no need to increasing your chances of dying.

ggmae

Hell no would I ever ever do that. He is very selfish to be doing something so dangerous, especially when he has a family back home.

3plus2=5

I also hear the car accident theory all the time.  Yes, things in life happen and tomorrow could be the day that another car goes through an intersection and slams into me.  I think there's a big difference though between accidents and intentionally putting yourself in a risky situation.  Also, how long are you really putting things on hold for?  In the big picture of life, is it really all that long?  I will still experience all of the things I want to experience, I will just be a little bit older when I do it.  It feels like just a couple of years ago that I was having my kids.  They are 13 and 11 now and I'm realizing that holy shiit, it's not long until they're out of the house!

ggmae

I would really love to go skydiving - a few friends have done it and said it was so amazing. DH has asked me not to because it scares him and he has seen too many skydiving accident videos. It's something I'd like to do, but I've told him that I'll put that dream on hold for now. Sometimes we have to sacrifice things we want to do for the ones we love.

tidetravel

I agree to a point about not intentionally putting yourself in harms way.  But, if there is something that you really feel compelled d to do for some reason, I don't think you should put it on hold for 20 years.  In his case, I have a feeling that guy felt compelled to finish the thing that his father started.  Or finish it for him.Yes, you can plan to do these things later in life after the kids are out of the house, but at the same time, there's a lot that can happen in 20 years that would prevent that.

louisvillebride21

That is true. That's why FI has the option of doing it in the next 3 years (while I'm piled in a seat in a bar, getting drunk so I don't have to think about it), or after they are out of the house. I really don't care which one it is.

A-D

Never. I even told FI if, God forbid, he ever got cancer and didn't seak treatment, I would think he's the most selfish person ever. Not really, but cancer isn't exactly under his control. If he died because he was driving like a jackass - I would hate him.

mocha beans

Some things like mountain climbing or skydiving are best done when you're younger, when you're more fit and healthy and able to physically deal with a risk like that.  So in that sense, it's better to do it when you're younger, and may have younger kids.  But yes, it is a risky behavior, so I think the family has to be able to deal with the possibility of death.  Something like the mountain climb isn't a spur of the moment thing (I think), so I would hope that there have been more than a few discussions of what will happen and what can happen.  Obviously the 2 and 3 year olds won't have much of a clue, but the 8 year old might be able to grasp some of it.Personally, I have never been much of a risk taker, so if we have kids I won't really have to grapple with these situations.  The riskiest thing I will probably do is get a pilot's license and fly one of them little planes that falls out of the sky all the time :-), which really doesn't happen any more often than people get into car accidents doing stupid things on the road; probably less because there's less air traffic and a whole lot more training involved than driving.  Skydiving, I may do someday, a few of my aunts have done it and a friend has.  Mountain climbing, I dont have the physical strength for that.

lyndausvi

ggame - men !!!! Honestly, I was 37 when I met DH. I'm set in my ways and am pretty independant.  He knows better than to tell me not to do something.   That does not mean he can't give me his opinion and that does not mean I will not take his opinion.   But ulitmately it's my choice and he knows that.It's the same way for him. Unfortunately he is scared of heights so rock climbing and sky diving is not in his future.  

[Deleted User]

Now that I've got a little monster, I would never take a risk like that. The thought of leaving him motherless literally keeps me up at night.