Yemeni Girl dies in childbirth.

AmoroAgain

She was 12.  TWELVE and had been in labor for 3 days.  [url]http://edition.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/09/14/yemen.childbirth.death/index.html[/url]

J&K10910

That makes me so sad.  I realize it is their culture, their customs, but I just don't understand how people can still force their daughters to drop out of school and marry someone twice their age.  It just seems wrong on so many levels.  I won't pretend to try to understand it.

[Deleted User]

That is so sad. Stories like that haunt me.

salt78

Ugggg and her husband was 24. That makes me absolutely sick.

AmoroAgain

JK, I agree with you.  There has to be some realization of "wrongness" at some point.

J&K10910

I jsut can't imagine parents being so strapped for cash they stop caring about the well being of their CHILD.  I hate that daughters aren't valued as much as sons in many cultures still.  I hate that women are still second class citizens (if they're lucky!) in many areas.  I hate so much about this.  I swear, I tried to be culturally sensitive, but I can't.  Not in this case.

[Deleted User]

I swear, I tried to be culturally sensitive, but I can't. Not in this case.I actually don't think it's necessary in situations like these. There is no cultural argument that anyone could present that would make the rape of a child okay. I just can't understand how you could value the life and wellbeing of your child so little that you would basically sell her. Shame on the parents and shame on the cultures that perpetuate these types of practices.

ootmother2

That poor child!

J&K10910

There is no cultural argument that anyone could present that would make the rape of a child okay.True, however, cultures have different definitions of rape, and what happened to this girl may very well have not been rape.  I understand what you're getting at, but adults having sex with their child brides could very well be the norm there, and be accepted.  It is in many places.  Does that make it ok from OUR standards?  Not in the slightest.  But in their standards, it might be.  And that's the point I was trying to make.

[Deleted User]

j&K - I totally get what you're saying and agree that other cultures might not consider it rape. But that doesn't make it any less of a violation of that child. I think that essentially, we are arguing the same point.

J&K10910

Oh ok, I guess I misunderstood you then!

AmoroAgain

Well, I think we have a hard time understanding that because we've never been that destitute.  There's poverty in the world that we can't even imagine- not to mention that once a practice becomes- perhaps not accepted, but is something that happens- it gets easier to make that leap.  The basic argument is that Mohammed had multiple wives, some of them very young, BUT (and here's the rub) he did not have relations with them until they were much older. So, because of the above, they're finding it difficult to sign a law stating that girls under X age are not allowed to marry.  Yet another reason why laws based upon religion are not always the best.

[Deleted User]

No, I think I did a bad job of communicating. When I get fired up about a subject I tend to sound like a raving lunatic.

J&K10910

That's really interesting Amoro.  That helps put it in perspective, and I think I could accept younger children marrying a little more easily if they weren't forced to drop out of school, and if "relations" waited until they were older.  But of course, we're big on consent here in the US, and as someone that has worked with sex offenders, we're big on the notion that a child that young cannot consent.  Because they lack the mental capacity.  I'm rambling.  I'm relatively ignorant when it comes to other cultures, but I'm open to learning about them.  It's just hard to overcome the deeply ingrained beliefs our culture here holds. 

AmoroAgain

Well, it's unlikely she would have gotten much of an education anyway, or been allowed to use it.  Now, almost all of these child marriages come with the restriction that there is to be no sexual contact before the girl has her period.  After that time, she's considered mature and can have sex.  It's definitely an issue of morality with the man.  While we here about a tiny portion of cases where the man does not stand by his word to not have relations, there are some that do keep their word.  But, anyone who contracts marriage with a 10 year old is most likely a pedophile anyway, so...

[Deleted User]

I read in that article about how the husband of the 10 year old had promised not to have sex with her until she was older. I saw a documentary several years that tore me up. It was about children all over the world that were in different horrible conditions due to poverty. It showed the street children of Guatamala who are abandoned and resort to sniffing glue as early as toddlerhood to stave off the hunger pangs. They become addicted and brain damaged by age eight.  It also showed the camel jockeys in the middle east that have to sleep in much worse conditions than the actual camels. Those children are usually around 4. I'm rambling, but it just breaks my heart to see what children have to go through because of poverty in the world.

J&K10910

Girls can get their period so young though.  Good point about the education.  I wish I knew more about this stuff.

3plus2=5

That poor, poor girl!  I understand that this is common practice in many parts of the world but stories like this make me ill.My daughter is 11 and there is no way that in 6 months when she turns 12 that she will have the reasoning or coping skills to understand why this would be happening to her. 

AmoroAgain

Yeah, I know.  Besides, women getting married "late" like almost all of us are, is a modern invention, and I mean modern.  Within the last 100 years or so.  J, if you are interested in learning more, I'm sure you could look up the reading material for courses on sociology and even religion to give you some idea on where to go.