freaked out I'm going to lose my venue!

jojod1075

So my fiance and I found a place we LOVE. It's perfect and really speaks to who we are... my dad hasn't given the go ahead (he's afraid that the cost will send us over budget once everything else has been factored in). Fortunately, my dad seems to almost be there in the way of saying yes to the location. I emailed the place over the weekend to let them know i'm still really interested and then again Mon nite to find out how much the deposit would be (assuming dad says its okay). I haven't heard back from them, and don't want to be a pest... if we don't get this place, we don't really have a back-up venue! a date change is difficult b/c we're Jewish and there's a 6 week period in the spring where you can't get married. we could change it if we have to, but it's definitely not our preference. has anyone had similar (parent) issues??

J&K10910

No, my FI and I are paying for our wedding ourselves.

Night_Sprite

You will get no sympathy here from daddy not giving you as much money as you want.

vallyhoo

So your dad is afraid that he will be over-extended and you are still pressuring him to get your dream venue? Sounds selfish to me.Have you offered to chip in at all?

anna.oskar

Ditto J&K.  I found the perfect place, wrote the check for the deposit, and officially have a venue.

cdeshane

If you pay for it yourself you won't have this problem, you can choose whatever you want.

*BeachBride0410*

Who is paying for the wedding, you or your parents?

MissSarah786

If your dad is paying and the cost is a bit too high, maybe you should find a new venue. It's amazing how quickly things add up and go over budget. Have you gotten quotes from other vendors or are you assuming you'll stay in budget?

sucrets4

zomg, how many cows and chickens were you worth??  My daddy got a TON for me.  ::beams::

ring_pop

So I take it you're having this issue because your dad is paying? I hate to tell you this, but if your parents pay for the wedding, this won't be the first time you have issues about getting things done or getting what you want.I have nothing against parents paying if they offer, but I'm just sayin, this is the consequence of that. Easily solved if you do it yourself.

SarahSmile23

why don't you have daddy give you a $ he is comfortable paying and you plan to pay the difference if this really is THE place?

lyndausvi

My parents paid for my wedding and we did not have this issue.  I let them take the lead on what they could or even wanted to afford and went from there.  Sorry, but all you can do is wait to see if he says 'yes' in the mean time start looking for another place.

aerinpegadrak

Nope.  My parents each offered us a set dollar amount, and we used that to build the budget.  Once rings, honeymoon, and gifts are factored in, it's probably going to cost more than that, but we're covering that difference ourselves.  I wouldn't dream of asking them for any more than they've already offered.You're 33 and Daddy is paying for your wedding?  Seriously?  Grow up.

jojod1075

yikes! I didn't think everyone would think i was such an awful person! We're chipping in and have already told my parents what we are planning to cover. I've also looked at other vendors (djs, photographers, etc) and have found some I really like that are both under the knot's estimate based on our budget and under my dad's guesstimate. I'm also looking to reduce costs in other places (invitations, dress, etc). This venue has been amazing to work with so far & put together a proposal for us based on our budget (the only ones that would). my parents, fiance and i have also gone through the guest list numerous times to see who can be cut.

jfgrad06

Feeling a possible DD....

ThePinkSuperhero

Perhaps you should go ahead and sign the contract, pay the deposit, and talk to Dad later.  Of course, I would only do this if I had the money to pay for the whole thing if Dad backs out.

jfgrad06

STFU! You're 33? I seriously guessed you were 20 after I read the post...?

adelheidster

I'm with Lynda on this one.  My parents are paying for my wedding, so I talked with them about budget before we even started looking at venues to know what kind of places we should look at.  

*BeachBride0410*

If you are going to chip in, I say put the deposit down.

jojod1075

FYI -- I haven't asked for more money (and wouldn't)... the reception proposal still leaves us with about 40% of what's budgeted between the two of us and my parents (though we're hoping we'll be able to contribute more - it depends what life (i.e car repairs) has in store for us.

*Rebecca & Chris*

When we got engaged, they took us out to dinner to celebrate and told us that they will give us $XX amount to use towards whatever we want. She also stressed that just because she is giving us money, she will never tell me how I should spend it, which was awesome. We put together the budget with that number in mind, based on how much money we could afford to put in. I would never dream of asking my parents for more money.

jamalina

Hi, I can't relate with the parent issue bc we are paying for our weding ourselves..BUT what day are planning the wedding? We changed our wedding from June to Feb bc it's cheaper. And we are getting married on Sat at 12:00pm instead of at night bc it's cheaper. Sunday is actually the cheapeast, I think. Weddings are expensive!!! It stinks. Can you & your finance chip in the difference of what your dad thinks is over budget. Or can you cut the guest list alittle bit to save money? There is alot that you can do to save money but still get married where you want. That's exactly what my fiance & I did. Good luck!

jamalina

I just realized alot of my questions were answered bc I read through all the posts!! Sorry!

[Deleted User]

Nope, we are paying.

jojod1075

jamalina - no worries! it's going to be a sunday afternoon... we're planning on May. we toyed with the idea of earlier in the year, but I'm from Cleveland, and with so many out-of-towners from both our families, anything before April isn't realistic (it snowed in May a couple of years ago). then we got into the issue with the Jewish calendar and what we are and aren't allowed to do. Good luck with yours!!