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In-laws in the wedding.....

I'm looking for a way to include my in-laws in my wedding. I have a very close relationship with my in-laws that has been maintained even after my late husband's death four years ago. I don't want them to simply be guests at my wedding. I thought about having my father-in-law and my dad walk me down the aisle, but my fiance was uncomfortable with that idea. I have 2 young children from my former marriage, so I was thinking my in-laws could be included through the children... I dunno. Help!

Re: In-laws in the wedding.....

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    Is your fiance comfortable having them be a part of the wedding at all? As anything besides guests?
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    I think it's nice to include them through the children possible some how, but I think having your former father-in-law walk you down the aisle is awkward.
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    So you ex in-laws, right?If I were you, I would just invite them to share in your day and leave it at that.I think it would be REALLY weird as a guest if your ex FATHER IN LAW was giving you away.Just...weird.
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    I also would like to know if your FI is comfortable with them having a role in the wedding.  It is completely understandable that you would have a special relationship with them, and it is also completely understandable that your FI would not be comfortable with them being included.Can you tell us more about how he feels about including them in other ways?
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    Maybe they could process in with your kids? I'd check with your FI like Jill said to make sure he's really okay with this.
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    I wouldn't include them, they will be perfectly fine as guests. I'm not trying to be mean but I think it would be slightly awkward having your late DH's in-laws a part of your wedding to another man. I would just keep them as guests.
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    BTW, although I gave a suggestion, I don't think having them as part of the wedding is a good idea.  They are your former in-laws from your previous marriage to another man.  I don't think it is entirely appropriate.  They should be there as guests, sure, but I don't know that I'd do anything else.How would THEY feel about being part of the wedding?
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    A couple questions. Are your in-laws comfortable being in your wedding? I could see them being happy for you and wanting to attend as guests, but you may be putting them in an akward position asking them to participate in the wedding. Is your FI comfortable with them being in the wedding at all? I have a feeling the answer to this is probably no. I mean, they are your children's bio-grandparents, but they are still your late husbands parents, which I could see him not being comfortable with. Your wedding is supposed to be the start of your future together - them participating in it may be too harsh a reminder of the past for him. I know that you said that you are close, but why exactly do you feel that you want to include them? Being a guest at a wedding is an honor in and of itself. That being said, the two of you need to sit down and talk about your real reasons for wanting/not wanting them in the wedding and compromise. If it still makes your FI uncomfortable, then in this situation, I think you need to give into him. It is his wedding too, and he should not be uncomfortable on his wedding day.
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    If you want to honor them, a simple way to do it would be to give them a corsage and bout. After the ceremony, take a couple pics with you, DH, your kids and them so that you have nice pics to give to them later.
    Holy Crap. We survived the first year!
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    Yep, Money, just took the words right out of my mouth. Also ditto on considering them as well, and whether or not they would want to even be in it at all. Also, Jill is right. You need to consult with your FI first and see how he feels about them being in it at all. Since he isn't comfortable with your former-FIL walking you down, he probably isn't comfortable about involving them at all.
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    Apparently she didn't like what we had to say as she logged off. But really. It's weird. really, really weird.
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    Kind of what I was thinking Fischy, but didn't have the heart to say....
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    Luckily, I odn't have a heart, so.... ;)
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    No, CS, my day!*stomping feet* MYYYYYYYYYY DAYYYYYYYYYYY! *throwing self of ground, two-year old style*
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    I'm so glad I'm not the only one that thought this was really weird.  I mean, I'm glad she's still close with her in laws, and I'm sorry for her late husband's death, but....yeah.  New marriage.  Ex-In-laws are guests.  That's all.

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    I was hoping she would answer all of your questions. Now I am curious how the ex in laws feel about being included. I don't hate my former in-laws or anything but they will not even be guests at my wedding. Way to weird for me.
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    I really like tidetravel's suggestion. It shows that you really thought of them on your special day and makes it clear you still want them to be in your life. Now might be a good time to talk with your FI about the role they do have in your life and how you each feel about that.  Not knowing them I cannot presume to understand how they feel but I imagine the wedding could be bittersweet for them. It is nice you have such a great relationship with them. Maybe you could sit them near the head table at the reception (if you are having one) this would keep them close by without feeling on the spot.
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    My ex-H's parents (and other family members) were guests at my wedding.  Arrived in town the day before, attended the RD with us, and got a corsage & bout for the wedding.  Everyone was fine with this, and we were thrilled they attended.  And they were thrilled with the corsage & bout - made them feel special.
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    I agree with Tide, bouts seem appropriate, but much more would be awkward for other guests, the Ex-in-laws and FI presumably.
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