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Poll: Worst Wedding Advice

I've found that with the wedding coming up, everyone and their mom (literally) has been giving me/FI advice on what to do for our wedding.  I'm curious as to what is the worst advice you have gotten:Mine is a toss up, both suggested by FFIL:Have his in-laws (who are too old to travel to the wedding) do a toast via speakerphone at our 120 person reception (in a large room) ORHave all the dancing for the night before dinner, so people don't get bored.  ??  What about you guys ??
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Re: Poll: Worst Wedding Advice

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    My mother suggested that I wear a cowboy hat and pin a veil to just the back of it. Then again, she's BSC.
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    My mom suggested charging admission to the reception.
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    FI's parents thought we should hold a honeymoon fundraising party like his cousin did.  Uh.. no thanks!
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    FMIL when discussing having the ceremony and cocktail hour in the same room in case of rain: "Of course you can do that, you can just ask your guests to help put the chairs away after the ceremony and set up the cocktail tables."....really?  REALLY?
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    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

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    "forget your guests it is all YOUR DAY"
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    me-  we are having a small wedding because we have a small budget.cousin-  so why don't you just invite everyone to the reception and only a few to the wedding ceremonyme-  because the reception is the expensive part  DUHH 
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    Silk flowers so I could save my bouquet for ever and ever... I'd rather have none.
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    Kittee--we have the same wedding day.  Happy 10 days to you :)
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    "You must have a money dance. If you don't have a money dance, the guests will start one on their own." Really? Because that didn't happen and we're not that tacky.
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    The worst suggestions have actually been from my FI. When I wasn't working and didn't have health insurance he suggested that if worst came to worst we could just have a JOP wedding now and a big wedding later. He also didn't want to invite some of our families' s/os because he wanted to save money.
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    wow!  now I feel crappy about having picked out silk flowers because I want them to last.
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    Oh and my mother also thinks that I should invite more people to the wedding than my venue will hold because, you know, there's so way I'll have 100% attendance.
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    MOH/Sis: why don't you have a shower and invite the family members that aren't invited to the wedding so they can celebrate with you?Me: it's rude to invite someone to a shower, which is a gift-giving event, and then not invite them to the wedding.Her: they wouldn't bring a gift anyway, they'd just want to come and eat and drink for freeMe: umm...so what's the point again?
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    2:fmil wanted the proofs of my invitation, reception card and rsvp, so she could email them out 2 days before they went in the mail (completely on time.) when i said no, she said i didn't know how things were done. i told her i knew how this was going to be done, no way!one of my married and pregnant (#3) told me fi would change and start cooking and cleaning and blah blah, (like her husband) once we got married and esp when we had kids.i don't want fi to change and i know he's not. why would i marry a man wanting him to change?and also irritating that all the things that would change would make fi like her husband. Yes, I want my H to morph into your H because he is so grand.
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    e-invites - from my mumstag and doe - from my mumcash bar - from my daddrink tickets - from my dada rented wedding dress - my mother. i swear to god on this one i thought she had lost her mind. WHO DOES THAT.
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    Almost there, Kimbini! Good luck and enjoy! :)
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    Not really advice but it was bizarre.  I told my FMIL I preferred a wedding dress with some sort of sleeve and she told me that she likes that idea because the only reason designers make strapless dresses is because they are too cheap to use more fabric for sleeves.
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    My mom told me I had to have it in my town because it's ALWAYS in the bride's home church. The church I loathe and haven't stepped into in over a decade? Yeah, that church. Nevermind there are 10 people coming from my town, and the rest are coming from all over the world, and FI's city has a major airport.
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    I had so many people tell me "Ohhhh, do you want, its your day" when suggesting things that were completely rude and tacky.
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    My father is STILL trying to convince me to write "please no boxed gifts" on MY INVITATIONS. Not only is he saying we should do it, but he legitimately feels passionate about it. He keeps saying "that way you can use the money for things that you want." As if a registry isn't already things that you want. I'm seriously worried that if I let my parents do anything related to the invites, that phrase will magically make its way onto them. Can you imagine how shameful that would be?
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    What's funny is that there are SO many responses to this question!  Guess we're all getting some wacky (and often unsolicited) advice! My sister, speaking from experience, said she would change lots of things about her wedding (which was beautiful and classy on a budget.) She said: 1 -- Wear a veil.  (This is only bad advice because they look goofy on me -- I do think they're gorgeous on others, but I look like I'm 7 and going to my First Communion.) 2 -- Don't feed your guests.  Not even hors d'ouevres... That's a waste of money.  (WHAT?!) 3 -- Do a cash bar only.  It's expensive to do anything else.  (Again, this is fine for some people, but considering she said no food, this recommendation was an extra level of cheap-ness!)
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    This is kind of wedding related - when FI and I were trying to figure out where we were going to live after we get married, my mom suggested numerous times that we just keep the small two bedroom apartment that I share with my brother and let him keep his room and FI and I could just share mine.  She kept saying "It would be a little cramped but..." Seriously?
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    FFIL - Not assigning tables. I realize that I might get flamed for this... but we are having a sit-down dinner with meal choices. I just couldn't handle my DOC standing at the mic having to announce "Who ordered the vegetarian meal? And who has the shellfish allergy???" It was just easier to give people a "home"/table for dinner, afterward, I don't care what happens. I just don't want anyone to go into anaphylaxis at my wedding.
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    This is such an interesting topic because what some people think is outrageous others did. I thought about renting a dress. A couple places in my town offer it. I am not the sentimental type who really wants to keep a $700 dress in my closet the rest of my life. Well I happened to find a nice dress that wasn’t horrible expensive so I scratched that Idea.   I loved the one about charging admission that’s hilarious. And lets dance before dinner so know one is bored… everyone would just be passed out because they are hungry.   Everyone keeps telling me to elope I wish I could have. But FI wants a church wedding.
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    My fiance asked why the bridesmaids need bouqets, he had never seen them have them before (even though we have been to a couple of weddings and they had them-he just doesn't pay attention to details like that).  He also wanted to do a dollar dance and a cash bar.  I nixed that quickly. Thankfully his mother backed me up.  I told him the only way I would do a dollar dance is if we donated the money to charity.
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    Angiebear:My FI suggested the same for us, however I would be the one to pay for his insurance.  He turned 23 last year and no longer qualified to be covered by his parents insurance, so he suggested that we get married so he could use my insurance.  How romantic right?
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    "Have the reception at this high school cafeteria."No.
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    most of the gems have been from FMIL. 1. have FI's non-religious brother (who FI doesn't even like) officiate because he ordaned himself online. WE'RE CATHOLIC! 2. have a big birthday cake and sing happy birthday to FI's sister. yea, it's her bday but it's also my wedding day! we can give her a cake at the rehearsal dinner. 3. that me and my mom (of course she would never suggest herself doing any of the work) bake and frost homemade cupcakes instead of having a cake and then bake homemade cookies for favors. yea, i want to be baking 300 cupcakes 2 days before my wedding... 4. play all Earth Wind and Fire. some people may like this type of music but i can't stand it, i think it's so tacky. FMIL said if we don't play the music she likes she will sulk in the corner. she literally said that.
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    A few fun gems: "don't do invitations, make an e-vite" - as if it wasn't hard enough to get physical addresses for 200 people, how would I get emails?  What about the older generations who don't have email or use computers?  No way."ask your FI's sister's boyfriend to read at the wedding"....basically to make him feel included.  He doesn't even like us."why do we have to have a photographer?"  my fiancee.  there is no comment for this, especially since he is the one insisting on a big, elaborate, wedding.
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    I'm just really tired of my stepmom telling me my relationship with FI is going to hell after the wedding. If I say something about him cooking dinner for me, she says "enjoy it while you can, because after you've been married for a while, he won't do things like that for you." Let's give my marriage a chance, shall we?
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