Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Advice, please

Hello, ladies. I am somewhat new to the boards. I just discovered them and I am loving them, so I thought I would ask advice on an issue we have with one of our friends. The girl is the fiancee of one of FI's friends and I know her casually, (we tailgate together), but I wouldn't consider her a good friend. Well, when we picked our wedding date back in August, it was the only date available in April, which we need because my lease runs out then. When she asked our date a few weeks back, I told her and she said "That's my date." It took me a few minutes to figure out she meant her wedding date because at this time she was not engaged. She is now trying to cause a conflict by saying she might still pick the date or she will do it the week before. I would just not worry about it, but we have a large number of friends in common and the girl's fiance's brother is a GM for both weddings. Is there a polite way to handle this or do I just need to not worry about it?

Re: Advice, please

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    You've already selected your date and likely put down a deposit. Leave it up to her. Don't change your plans. Send out Save the Dates so your friends know your date ahead of time. If she picks the same date as you it will mean one of two things: 1) She's a b!tch and doesn't care about overlapping friends or 2) that may truly be the best date that will work for them and their family and there's really nothing that either of you can do about that. And, if she hasn't actually booked it yet, there's no telling just yet that that will be her date.
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    Uh, does her FI know about this? Cause if he's one of your FI's friends I don't know why the hell he'd agree to do it right before his friend's wedding... Girl sounds crazy, I wouldn't worry about it till they actually pick something.
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    I say pick your date and be*damned to her.  I only moved our date around for FI, my dad, and the BP's needs, and even then we finally just picked one and stuck with it.  Unless your wedding will require a lot of travel for the overlapping friends, don't worry about it.
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    Hmm, that's tough. I would just be pleasant, but ignore her "troublemaking". I bet her FI will be able to talk her out of booking the same day as your wedding.
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    Just ignore her.  It's not worth starting shiit over.If she picks it the week before the wedding, she's an idiot.  Although it sounds like she's an idiot either way.If she picks it sooner, well, people will have to choose between the two.You don't really get a monopoly on a date. 
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    I think I'd probably have my FI talk to her FI about it and see if her FI could change her mind and move it by a week or two.  If she wasn't even engaged when you picked your date then I'm surprised she's not willing to budge, but some girls are weird, especially if she's picking a wedding date before she's even engaged.GL.
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    Is she engaged now? Or maybe she doesn't have a ring on her finger but is engaged since they are in fact planning a wedding together?
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    Ditto PPs. Send out your save the dates now and then let her proceed.
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    She is actually engaged now, so maybe she will loosen up on the crazy.Thanks so much for all the input! I definitely can't move my wedding, since I put down deposits a month ago. I will just have to wait and see what she does. You ladies are awesome!
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    Ignore her, and make sure you announce your date to your shared friends right away.  I would probably pick up some inexpensive save the date cards and send them out right away.  Don't tell her you're doing it though.  Don't share many wedding details with her at all.
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