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Groom Family reception. Who pays?

Good evening!FI and I have planned a small ceremony with a small reception in IL (where we live) for friends and family in the area.  We're paying for this ourselves and are budgeting for about 70 people.  My parents are paying for a reception in PA (where I'm from) so that my family doesn't have to travel a few weeks after the ceremony.FI's extended family live in the St. Louis area and we had planned to go down there for a few days to visit with all of them after the wedding.  However, FIL wants us to have a reception for his side of the family (which would be about 75 people), but has not offered to pay for it.FI and I don't make a lot of money and would have a hard time paying for 2 receptions.  Is it unfair to ask FI's family to pay for that reception?
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Re: Groom Family reception. Who pays?

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    3 receptions? dude. If you must do that, if the FILs want another reception and you don't care either way, then I think they should pay for it. Don't out and out ask them to pay for it, just tell them you can't afford another reception. If they want it that badly they'll pay for it.
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    Say no.  3 receptions looks like a big tacky gift grab.
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    Just explain you can't afford it. If they offer to pay, that's another matter, but you can't ask them to pay. That said, I find it really excessive to have three receptions.
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    If he is insisting on a second reception, he should pay.
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    If they want it, they have to plan it, pay for it, and host it.  If they don't want to do anything of those things, don't throw one yourself.
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    I agree that 3 receptions is a little ridiculous.  We only wanted to have the IL one, but my mom insisted on having one in my hometown for the extended family, and because she offered to pay for it in full, I wasn't going to argue.
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    I think that if you or your family are paying for it, then any extra reception should be paid for by the other family.  You should pay for the wedding you can afford.  If they want a special reception for them, I do it if they are willing to pay for it.  Otherwise, graciously inform them that your budget simply can't stretch that far.  Maybe you can do a more informal, back yard reception for his extended family? It would be less expensive for whoever does end up paying for it.
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    I can understand why they'd want one since your side is having one also. I don't see why you would have to pay for it though. I'd probably just say we couldn't afford it and if they offer to pay well, there ya go I guess.
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    You cannot ask your FILs to pay for a reception in your honor. But if they mention that they want to have one, that is when you tell them that you would love to have some kind of family gathering, but unfortunately, you cannot afford to pay for two receptions. But that you might could contribute to a small backyard barbeque or something. What is unfair is for them to suggest you have a second reception so they don't have to travel, then expect you to foot the bill for their family reunion.
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    When I was little, I had a book called Raggedy Ann and Andy and Seven Birthday Parties in a Row.  The plot was as follows: it's Raggedy Ann's birthday, and she enjoyed her party so much she decided to have one every day for a week.  By the end of the week, she was fat and sugar high on cake and left feeling tired and unfulfilled, and her friends hated her wasting all their time.Moral of the story: seriously, have one reception and call it a day.
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    Again, for the record, I do think that 3 receptions is excessive.  I think the 2 we're having is one too many as it is, but my mom insists on the PA one.  I don't even have any part in planning it.  I told her, if she wants to have one, then go crazy, but I'll be focusing my energy on the one in IL that we had originally planned on having and she couldn't be happier.Hopefully, we can just stick to the original plan of taking a long weekend and going to visit FI's family in St. Louis.Thanks for your help!
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    There's nothing wrong with VISITING FAMILY on one side and then the other once you are married. And if your mom wants to host a BBQ or a cookout while you are there, that's fine. But there's a lot wrong with three "RECEPTIONS." I know no one who goes to these "at home receptions" or "after receptions" or whatever. Each wedding ceremony is followed by some kind of reception, attended by those who witnessed the wedding ceremony. Period. Anything else looks like a gift grab.
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    I understand why his family would want to have another reception for their side. But you should just tell them that you can't afford it. Maybe they will take it upon themselves to host (pay for) a reception. There isn't anything wrong with that as long as the guest list is different for each reception.
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    fi could ask ask...however, if fil's answer is no i wouldn't bother throwing a reception there.
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