Wedding Etiquette Forum
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WWP&ED

Yesterday during work I was talking with one of my work friends who's invited to the wedding. She knows that we're not registered anywhere so she asked me what I wanted.I SOOO wanted to say something along the lines of " A card with cash would be great", but I didn't.I completely drew a blank and what came out of my mouth instead was "Oh, don't worry about. Just come and eat, drink and have a good time"Good etiquette? Other options?

Re: WWP&ED

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    That's basically what I tell everyone who asks.  I think it's fine.  I'm sure she'll still get you something and by not specifying what, it'll probably be cash or a GC.
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    I would have told her that what you need is just money. She'll probably end up getting you something anyway. If it were me and you told me that, I would just write you a check.
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    I can't tell if you were calling someone else out to answer this, but I think that was perfect etiquette. It is always polite to invite people without implying the gift obligation. That is why we don't put registry info on the invitation.
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    I think the fact that you are not registered is goign to lend itself to a few more of these types of moments. I think your answer was perfect. I certainly would not be telling people to give you cash off the bat like that. Perhaps you can spread the word through a mutual friend.
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    I laughed and laughed at the Office last week when Pam said "well we do have a registry, but you don't have to buy off the registry.  We'd take...anything....whatever you can afford" or something like that.  It was so funny, her trying to figure out how to get cash.Anyway, I think a good way to do it is to tell the person what you're saving up for (true or not).  "Oh we aren't registered anywhere, we're really just saving up for new house/renovations/whatever."
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    Do like Pam did on the office "We want money." But then you might end up with a romantic birdhouse mailbox from Phyllis.
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    [i]I completely drew a blank and what came out of my mouth instead was "Oh, don't worry about. Just come and eat, drink and have a good time"[/i] Perfect answer. It's okay for someone else (your parents, family, bridal party, etc.), if they are asked this same question, to explain that you and your FI are saving up for XYZ. But that answer is not appropriate coming from the couple themselves. IMO, the only appropriate response is exactly what you said. If they want to give a gift, they will.
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    Dani, I was thinking of the same thing.  Definitely ask for a toaster full of money.  We registered because I thought we should, but pretty much everyone gave us money anyway. 
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    KDC, you know the birdhouse mailbox is way better than cash. [img]http://img.groundspeak.com/waymarking/display/4e469bcf-2260-46ea-8e77-94eef0d4e228.jpg[/img]
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    Thanks. She's actually the only person that's asked me.
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    I'm actually glad Pam asked for cash :) They were being d bags! I know it's just a TV show, but seriously, when Meredith said she'd text Pam the day of the wedding to find out where it was and how to get there, I got all jittery and angry and stuff.
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    Well of course, Sarah - clearly I would rather have a "romantic birdhouse mailbox" handcrafted by a coworker's family member over cold, hard, cash. [IMG]http://tinyurl.com/yd56ye8[/IMG]
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    Well fine knot, be that way and break my code and not show everyone the gorgeous mailbox. TLV, that and Kelly asking "Is ryan coming?" over and over and over. If we hadn't already gone through our own RSVP hell and gotten over it, I might have totally wigged out.
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    I think that was a fine response.My aunt has asked me 3 times and I dodged the question, because that's what we really need. We aren't registered anywhere. We are trying to improve the house (and take any cash we get and upgrade our bed/laptop; things that can't be registered for), and my mom has been able to tell people that.Oddly, she's probably the one person I could say, "what do I want for a present? A new damn bed, so cash, please :)" and she'd laugh and laugh, but I couldn't do it. I think she finally asked my mom.My college friends have asked me, and I told them it wasn't necessary, we weren't registered, but if they felt like they needed to do something, we were trying to bring the house out of the 70s so something like a Lowe's gift card would be fine. They didn't hear past the first part I guess. We did get a cute box of snacks from the Popcorn Factory from a friend, so that was nice.All of our gifts have been either store gift cards, cash or checks, which is what we really needed. It made it easier to transport home, too.
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    "when Meredith said she'd text Pam the day of the wedding to find out where it was and how to get there, I got all jittery and angry and stuff."Me too!
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