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Sister f/u

A quick follow up for everyone who was so awesomely supportive when my sisterly-drama hit: (brief recap- sister's husband of 10 years got caught cheating, she cleaned out bank accounts and changed the locks)Sister is doing really well- as well as can be expected. She got an awesome lawyer that she has great confidence in. BIL is not doing himself any favors- can't keep his temper under control at all. I know from experience that in NY Family Court losing your temper all the time works against you in some very harsh ways- which is great news for her. She is coming to visit me tonight for my bachelorette and shower. She is too nervous to leave the kids behind just yet, so they are coming with her, which should be interesting. (I love kids and hers are great, but kids are like little alien beings to me. I had to call her last night to ask what kids eat.)She is already saying that this will turn out to all have been a good thing in the end. That BIL is a toxic person and her life will be healthier without him. She hopes to keep him/his influence away from her kids as much as possible, too- but that's for the attorneys to figure out. So all in all- sister is amazingly strong and positive (although still hoping that he gets hit by a bus/dies in a fire, of course).

Re: Sister f/u

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    So he had an affair and HE'S the one getting angry? What a doucher. I'm glad she is in control of the situation. The kids will come through this much better that she is setting such a strong example for them.
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    My thoguhts are still with her and her kids, but I'm glad to hear she's handling it so well and already has such a good outlook about the future.
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    Good for her!  It definitely sounds like this was for the best.  BIL sounds like a total douche!
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    Oh what a good update, manda. I'm so happy to hear she is standing strong and beomcing a toxic-free person. It's so liberating! You are a good sister for being there for her and her kids. That's very sweet of you to let them come to the bachelorette party. I can tell you that she'll probably appreciate it if the kids PB&J sandwiches are not cut in the shape of peens. HTH!
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    Mmmmm penisbutter and jelly sandwiches.
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    Crap now I have to throw away all of my peen shaped bread. And my friend with kids advised I also get rid of the bleach filled baby pool on the deck. WTH?!
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    I'd also maybe put child locks on the cabinets were you keep all your arsenic stored in those jars labeled "Candy".
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    Didn't you say that his business was in her name too? Yeah, i bet he's getting pissed.
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    Oh- speaking of her kids, her daugher is 4 but is insanely smart and perceptive. She announced the other day to the nanny "Daddy doesn't live here any more." She wasn't upset at all, she was just observing a fact. BIL travelled all the time for work and hasn't been out of the house at this point any longer than a usual trip- she just picked up all the clues and put them together. She just announced it in the same tone she once used to announce to a total stranger "We're not Jewish." Smart and random, that's my girl!
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    everything is in her name aMrs, but she doesn't want his business. it's a good bargaining chip for the divorce negotiations though. she did find out his long term plan was to run off to Florida and open a gym with this new woman (yes, that's a very condensed version). so she called the manager of their FL condo building and had him change the locks, too.
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    I <3 your sister.
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    Tide - I agree with what you are saying, but sometimes during situations like this you have to get "common sense" court ordered before you can proceed.  My BFF had to take her daughter's father to court to get an order that said he would not talk badly about her, and that he had to stop anyone else talking badly about her as well to the kids.  (this after the gf told the daughter her mom was a dumb b*tch and fat and worthless and the dad just laughed about it).  MandaPanda - good for your sister.  Sounds like she is a few steps ahead of him at this point.  I hope it works out for her.
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    I hear you loud and clear on that tide- it's of some concern for me, too. I know she believes she has her kids' interest at the front, but I think she's not thinking about them resenting her in the future if they have no relationship with their dad. The answer "it was for the best" won't fly when they're grown up and angry. However, I think he may actually not be capable of taking care of them. His child from his first marriage hardly sees him. On visitation weekends he would pick her up from her mother's house, drop her off with my sister and then go out all day to "work".  He may now be relying on that daughter- who is 13, severely emotionally and mentally disturbed (has been institutionalized before)- for child care on his planned visits with sister's kids, who are 2 and 4. I'm going to let the courts and attorneys figure this one out. I'm hoping for court mandated supervised visits for now.
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    Stackeye - that's horrible.  I completely agree that sometimes the court needs to order "common sense," especially as every situation is different.  I've just seen a lot of my friends (who are awesome people/fathers) get screwed by spiteful women, so that attitude, as it was presented (not knowing if it's warranted or not), kind of makes me go "whoa."Manda - Sounds like full custody and court ordered supervised visitation sounds like the best option at this point, especially with the history he has w/ his other daughter.  I wish you all the best.
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    I've just seen a lot of my friends (who are awesome people/fathers) get screwed by spiteful women..........I completly agree!!!  You just wish the courts would follow these people around for a week.  It's like the ones that should get the kids dont, and the ones that shouldn't get anything get everything.
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