Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Aussie Ladies

I was reading the comments on the blog where the girl is asking her guests for $60., in lieu of gifts, to pay for her wedding.One of the comments states: "It is not in the LEAST unusual for a request to be made for monetary contribution in lieu of gifts. In fact, dare I say it is the norm these days as far as I have seen. I am not saying this is a good nor a bad thing. Nor am I debating that this would be conceived in the US as being inappropriate, as evidently it is. however the bride is getting married in Brisbane Australia!! "http://www.weddingbycolor.com/vintageglambride09/milestones/88404#commentI know paying is completely acceptable at a hen party and such, but is this really in any way acceptable?

Re: Aussie Ladies

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    Not usual.
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    So youre an aussie!? Ah ha, a hint.
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    I'm in New Zealand, which is close by. People asking for cash gifts happens here (and is getting more common as more people I know are getting married) but it is tacky and as far as I know not the norm, but it doesn't stop some people. It shouldn't be too different across the ditch. It may be more accepted down here for whatever reason.
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    You saved me asking this.  Thanks, Anna.
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    DOn't know if I count as an Aussie yet, but I've been to two weddings down here, one near Brisbane and one in Perth.  Both had Honeymoon registries set up.  Both admit in a whisper that they knew "it was tacky, but they did it anyway". I would still chew off my arm first. 
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    I don't know about OZ but in the UK a honeymoon registry is becoming very popular, I know many people think they are tacky (they don't bother me one bit- If I'm giving a gift I'd rather they had something they enjoyed, like a honeymoon, than new linen or a blender for the sake of it!) But I have never heard of (effectively) charging people to come to your wedding?! Still I can't imagine she will get that many 'yes' RSVPs so it's one way to keep the guest list down! Perhaps she could have saved on the $5 favors, rolls royce, BORA BORA HONEYMOON, ridonculous cake, expensive invites etc and kept within her budget!
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    I live in Brisbane, Australia. I would be shocked and horrified if anyone I knew did something like this. However, the way I am reading the comment is that the guests are giving money as a gift (not as payment towards attendance) and that is common- which I would agree with. A lot of people get money as gifts- but no one I know has ever asked or demanded for contributions to the wedding, and I can't imagine anyone would attend if that was the case. Wishing wells, where people give money instead of gifts in an anonymous form, are fairly common here (we did not do one, though, but neither did we do a registry as we felt both were equally tacky). However, having a wishing well where guests can donate money if they so desire in an anonymous manner is far different to charging guests to attend, which would never be acceptable for even the trashiest of people that i know!
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    I live in Australia and I agree with thesun that wishing wells are very common (we're having one ourselves). It's also very common for people to add tacky poems on their invites suggesting people give money as gifts (that we didn't do). However, I have NEVER been to a wedding where the amount of money to be given was specified. That's just hiddeous!
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    The fact they are specifying the amount guests have to pay suggests to me they are asking for payment as opposed to gifts.
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    Oh I do think the blog is asking for payment- but I think that comment on the blog's page about money be requested rather than presents relates more to gifts of money rather than a request for x dollars to come to the wedding.
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