An open letter to co-workers

mandysmear

Dear Co-worker,Just because you saw me unjamming the printer yesterday does not mean I am the designated printer fixer.  I was doing it yesterday because it was my printing that jammed the stupid thing.  The directions are so easy on that damn thing, there is a step by step process with colour pictures and everything.  Next time do it your damn self.Yours truly,mandysmear

J&K10910

We had the WORST stupid printer ever at my last job.  It jammed at least twice a day.  About once a week we had to have the guy from the company come take it apart and fix it.

HRodriguez

Mandy, your kitten is so cute.  What is his/her name?  One of my cats has the same tortise shell color and your sig reminds me of her.

SnShne322

Ugh! I hate that!  I'm always the one that loads the paper, yet I sit no where near the printer.  The thing beeps when it's empty.  Does no one hear it?  They just assume I will come fill it at some point.Also, it fits two reams of paper, don't just put in 10 sheets...

vallyhoo

This reminded me of the wedding episode on The Office last week where Jim confessed that he didn't really need help all the times he asked Pam about the copier.

salt78

I kind of wish that this was the only problem I had with my one coworker. I work with one of the most obnoxious, disgusting women I have ever met. I hope she gets fired soon so I don't have to look at her stupid face every day.

Nebb

Dear co-worker, I know you really like the movie "remember the titans", I know you think its inspirational, but that does not mean that you need to listen to/watch it EVERY DAY. It is also unnecessary for you to recite your favourite lines along with the movie.

mandysmear

Haha.  Vally I wish that was why.  They just asked me to fix it and walked away.My cat's name is Stewee!  She just turned 4 last Thursday.

Nebb

Oh... I thought we were all doing an open letter to co workers, my bad!

kikibaby

Dear Co-Workers,COME TO WORK.  There have been at least 2 people out every single day this week (different people- only 7 of us in the office). Thx, MGMT

mandysmear

I wanted you all to do an open letter to co-workers!  Nebb FTW!

crfische

Dear Mandy and Stewee, Come visit me in Fargo. We don't even have printers here. We are still writing on stone tablets. Yours, Fishy

SwedishChick2011

Salt, is this a new coworker or an old coworker gone bad?  I remember a while ago you saying that all your coworkers were awesome.

mandysmear

Dear Fishy,I shall hop in my private jet.  The pilot is currently fueling it up so we should be taking off in about an hour.  I will be sure to pack my flip flops, uggs, and crocs.  We can run through the meadows dressed the same.Love,mandy

missy68

Dear coworkers, Please don't ask me to tell all about everyone. I know most things about lots; but, don't put me in that position.  It makes me ill to my stomach.

SnShne322

Whoops!  Ok, open letterDear Co-Worker -Because you are in the finance department it does not make you an accountant.  Have some college credits in history does not qualify you.  I've been in school for accounting for a couple years now and even though my title eludes to be (sort of) being one, I don't feel comfortable calling myself one without my degree.  So when I ask your opinion on a subject do not start the sentence with, "Since I'm an accountant I would have to say.."  Thank you,The girl from the cube next door.

salt78

Coco... Newish coworker (been here since July) gone VERY bad. At first I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because she was new so the fact that she was "getting organized" kind of made sense. But she's STILL not organized. I have no idea what she does day in and day out besides make my life harder. We even hired another new person to take some of the work off her and I STILL have no idea what she is doing. She's extremely hyper and unfocused. Sometimes she smells bad. All this would just be annoying on it's own, but last week she went to a conference with new coworker that they hired and they were staying in a hotel room that was paid for by my company. One night they went out for drinks and she ended up meeting this total pervert/possible rapist in the bar and snuck him into the hotel room and was going to sleep with him. She's married. Every time I look at her I want to punch her in the face. Sorry for the vent, but god I just hate her so much.

crfische

Dear Mandy and Stewee, I will let Stewee borrow Howie's Uggs so he can galavant with us through the snow. I'll bring the thermoses (what's the plural of thermos?) and baileys with coffee, you bring the printer fixing skills. I can't seem to print the recipe off the computer because some biitch jammed it with gravel.  I head you know what to do. Love, Fishy

salt78

I think it's thermosi.

bbyckes

Dear Co-Worker, You should probably stay at your desk more and be on the phone less.  You may also want to consider actually working.  I know I probably shouldn't tell you this, but you are actively being monitored.  It seems the only one who thinks highly of you - is you.  Oh, and if you could stop wearing your stinky over-powering perfume, that would be great too!kthx,Cacoffer

MissLeahM

Dear Coworkers, Stop picking up the phone when I put it on hold. If its for you, I will transfer the call to you and your phone will ring.Also, just because I have a large reception desk does not mean that you should walk up to it and burp, i am a receptionist and do NOT want to smell what you had for breakfast. -Leah

SwedishChick2011

Wow, salt, she sounds awful!

[Deleted User]

Sometimes she smells bad. Do tell. What does she smell like?

BecW2be

Thermeses. YW.Dear Co-worker, Two phone calls and three emails in 15 minutes will not get me to respond any sooner. I'm neck-deep in price changes and I'll respond as soon as I can. That's a lie. You've pissed me off, so now I'll respond when I damn well feel like it. XOXO, Bec

Stackeye210

Dear Coworker - If the cat pees on your clothes, please don't wear them to work. Thanks!P.S. - I have an extra hairbrush you can have if you promise to use it.

NicoleSahara

Dear co-worker, I hope you know the "EMPLOYEES MUST WASH THEIR HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK" sign I put up in the bathroom was directed at you. We have two co-workers home sick, one with freaking swine flu, and I DON'T want to get it, so wash your hands after you use the restroom!Thanks,Trying not to get sick

SnShne322

Oh, and if you could stop wearing your stinky over-powering perfume, that would be great too!The other coworker who sits next to me wears perfume like that.   We all want to tell her it's too much (people have been complaining of headaches) but don't  have the balls to do it, including me.   She doesn't speak very good English and her English comprehension is poor too.  On top of that she cries a lot so no one wants to make her cry. 

mandysmear

Fishy, That sounds great except Stewee is very very granola like and prefers to go barefoot.  Don't be alarmed as I am sure she'll hate you and Howie both.  One day they will fall in love and not have babies because little Stew Stew has been spayed.  What you need to do is take the gravel out of the printer and throw it at your co-workers head.  When I get there I shall run her over with the printer just to be sure that she gets the message. Love,mandy

LesPaul

Dear Co-Workers,Please stop asking me for detailed information about our fellow co-worker who passed away recently.  I am not privvy to the intimacies of his illness, treatment, or possible decision to opt-out of treatment.  The fact that he used to occupy the office next to mine, and because I am currently doing half of his work, does not mean that I know every last thing about him.  Thank you.

BecW2be

Salt, that's disgusting. I don't know how you do it. I once worked as a director of a daycare, and I had to pull a teacher into my office and tell her I had complaints from parents because she and her room smelled so bad. Like old fish. It was the worst work day of my life.

[Deleted User]

I just can't imagine a grown woman with BO. She must really be living wrong. Bless her heart. Dear Co-worker, Please don't stand at my office door and wait for me to start a conversation with you. If I want to fuuck around (like you seem to do all day), I will come to your cube and entertain you. Love,CEW