Feeling distant from "still dating" friends

JenniferG47

Sorry if this post is in the wrong board. I'm not exactly sure where it fits in around here!Lately, I find I'm having a lot of trouble relating to my friend's "dating issues." For example, one called me yesterday to tell me about a first date. I was really happy for her, but  I've been in a serious relationship of over five years and I guess I forgotten that "first date feeling." All I could think was "Aw, cute." It makes me feel bad that I don't have a higher interest, but I'm just not connecting!One friend in particular has been in a few serious relationships, each time expressing that "He's the one" feeling. I can't imagine having "He's the one" feelings more than once, so I'm having a hard time buying it from her. Again, this makes it hard for me to be excited for her.I really want to be interested in my friend's life and her dating. It can be a fun time, and girls want to talk about it to their friends! Any advice on how I can connect to her?

buttaflai

each time expressing that "He's the one" feelingI have a girlfriend who does that. We don't really connect anymore and I have a hard time being super excited about the guys who come and go.I constantly remind myself to be supportive and listen. I ask questions and remind myself that I used to be there at some point too. They relate better now to the other girls who are in similar situations, so our relationships have changed, but that's OK and normal. To stay connected, we still do the things we used to always do regardless of the dating status.

danieliza1127

You can be excited for your friends as they date and meet new guys even though you can't necessarily relate to the feeling.  You can listen to what they're going through, ask questions to make sure they're thinking things through and picking good guys, help them pick outfits for dates, stuff like that.  I have a hard time believing you don't remember being single, but if that's truly the case, you can be supportive and excited without having to relate and tell your own stories of what it was like for you.As for not believing your friend who says every guy is the one, eh, that would happen whether you were in a relationship or not.  Some girls are just like that and it's okay for you to think she's goofy for thinking every guy is the one.  That has nothing to do with your relationship status, you'd probably think she was crazy even if you were single too.  I think you're just overthinking this.  You don't have to stop being friends with single people because you're in a relationship. 

mwhitson14

I have a friend who is like your first friend. Basically I asked lots of questions about whoever she was going out with, helped her pick out an outfit, just normal questions. I had a hard time relating with her as well, but usually she's excited enough to do all the talking, as long as I add in a prompt or two :)As for your second friend, I would just talk with her about what she thinks makes this guy the one. You may have a hard time buying it, but be careful with your response. He could end up being "the one," and then you may have stuck your foot in your mouth with a comment.

Gabs71109

I think it is prety cool that your friends want to tell you about the guy/guys they are seeing. I know with a many of my single friends I get the "Oh, you wouldn't get it." because DH and I have been together for almost 6 years. I also know that some of my friends don't approach me for "dating advice" because they are afraid I will judge them. I think it is just as hard for you to be "excited" about their flavor of the month as it is for them to get "excited" about our wedding. Try to lend an ear and just be a good friend. Just remember, they might feel a bit intimidated by your relationship.

crfische

Perhaps because you have a hard time connecting with them, they are feeling the same way, so if they tell you they think he's the one, that maybe they'll think that you'll think that it puts them more on the same level as you. Talk about things other than boys. There is more to life than that. That's how I would connect with her.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Awkward situation: One of my good friends just moved in with her boyfriend. FI and I have only been together three months longer than they have. Her boyfriend was complaining that he wasn't ready (basically didn't want to move out of his parents' house - and if my parents had that house, I wouldn't move either). She threatened to move back to her mom, 3000 miles away, if he didn't move in with her.FI and I have been living together for a year and a half. *shrug*

JaimeeP

She probably feels the same way, when you talk about your wedding plans. She's happy for you, but not that excited about the details.