invitations-who should I invite

tristen33

Is it ok to have different rules or circles of invitees for the different familys?  I am inviting all of my first cousins as well as their children since they all have small families and we are very close. My FI wants to invite all of his Aunts and Uncles but only the older cousins since one family has 7 children and we are not as close to his cousins (none of the cousins have kids).  If we do this should we cut off his cousins at a certain age?  or should we just invite them all since there will be children from my side of the family there?  I don't want to upset anyone but it gets really expensive with a family of 9.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

There was a post yesterday about a girl who only invited a certain cousin. Feelings were hurt. A circle is practically by definition just that - ALL aunts and uncles or ALL cousins. So I'd really go with either all first cousins or no first cousins. If your side is small and you want to do your cousins but none of FI's cousins, that may be workable, since FI's side probably won't find out, but that's a decision you'll have to make.I think the only way I would personally think it's okay is if half his cousins were over 18 and you were having an adult reception. Feelings might still be hurt, but at least you'd have a hard and fast rule.

laurenclaire1386

First, figure out how many people you can afford to invite.

tidetravel

Whatever you do, you need to be consistant, or else you risk offending people can causing a lot of hurt feelings.  If you invite some 1st cousins w/ their kids, you really need to invite them all.  If you choose to have kids there, you really can't tell the one huge family that they can't invite kids under a certain age.

tidetravel

*can=and  invite=bring Wow.  I need to wake up.

tristen33

So with his cousins it should be all or none?  would it be ok to not invite any of his cousins on his dad's side when we are inviting them all on his mom's side?  His dad is not very close to his family.

tidetravel

Have FI talk to his dad about that side of the family.  If you invite aunts/uncles from dad's side of the family, they WILL be offended if they arrive to find out that their children are not invited, and yet everyone else's are.  I still stick to all or none - both sides.