Poll for the pregnant ladies...or anyone who has an opinion

laurenclaire1386

I know the proper place for this is probably the bump, but that place is insane and I can't post there.FI and I were talking the other night about having kids and he asked if I would make him stop drinking while I was pregnant and couldn't partake.  I told him I'd never forbid him any of his vices just because I couldn't participate, but that I wouldn't take kindly to drunkenness/hangovers.  He gets no sympathy.  If you're pregnant, how do you feel about DH/SO drinking?  Or if you plan to be pregnant, how are you gonna handle this?

Brie2010

I'm not knocked up, but he's an adult and can do what he wants.  He doesn't drink more than two or three beers maybe once a week anyway, so it's not a big deal.

mandysmear

No.  Just no.  I love that you even disclosed that you know you shouldn't post this here.Enough with the baby shiit already.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'm not pregnant, but currently. FI drinks more than I do. He'll often have a beer during the week. I try to stick to weekends and parties/special occassions (and yes, kickball night is a special occassion!). So since right now I don't have a beer every time he has one, even though I might want one (school work comes first...), I'd be fine with him drinking. In fact, I never considered not asking him to drink. Self-control is my responsibility, not his.

Kati0105

FI and I have both agreed that we will hold off on having children until we are ready to give up drinking for the most part.  Neither of us wants to drink around our children, especially when they are young, and I wouldn't expect him to be drinking heavily during my pregnancy either.  I know he would feel terrible if something happened to me and/or the fetus and he couldn't drive us to the ER because he had been drinking.

3plus2=5

I never had an issue with ex-H drinking or doing anything he would normally do while I was pregnant.  Then again, he very very rarely took it to the extreme to be piissed drunk either.

lannerjarv

we've had big chats about this.while i'm not one to tell him what he's allowed/not allowed to do, i have made it abundantly clear that i won't be very impressed if he's getting shiitfaced while i can't.he agreed that it wasn't fair, and that when i did get pregnant he would make a big effort in keeping the beer to a minimum.he is more excited about having babies than i am.. if he could carry one he would i'm sure. lol

ac_in_dc

We both drank pretty frequently before I got knocked up. Now he's definitely cut back, I think just because it's not as much fun to drink alone and he feels awkward drinking when I can't. I tell him to drink whenever he wants. Although I asked him not to open bottles of wine and champagne in the house...it makes me too bummed that we can't share it, because opening a bottle of wine together has always been a nice ritual with us!

tlv204

I would never tell him not to drink.  But, he's my sober driver at least 80% of the time now, so I guess if I have to drive him for 9 months it will be ok.  We still wouldn't be even

fangsiting

My FI is the biggest lightweight.  He actually offered to give up drinking if I got pregnant.  I've worked so hard to get him to 2 drinks.  I'd probably force him to drink just so I don't have to start from scratch in building back his tolerance. 

Koopa17

I'm not pregnant but I can't imagine caring.  He doesn't drink often enough to see it as a problem.  Now if he came home piss-ass drunk and had a hangover the next day I would tease him about it like I would now.  We both give each other a hard time if one of us drank enough to feel like shiz the next day, it's funny.  I imagine if he was drinking to where I felt bad about it he'd realize it and cut back. 

Sooles

i wouldnt ask fi to stop drinking - but he only gets drunk about once every 6-8 weeks. so not enough to bother me. ill probably have trouble with it either way because i normally get drunk about 4x a month.

banana468

DH doesn't drink a lot so it would be a non-issue.If he thinks I'd be the auto DD though that's a big laugh.  My superpower is falling asleep anywhere!  I won't sleep while driving but I can only imagine that my energy level will tank while being pregnant.

[Deleted User]

I wouldn't ask him to stop. He doesn't drink regularly and I rarely drink, so it wouldn't be that big of a deal for us. I actually don't get being upset or jealous that the husband can drink, but the pregnant wife can't.

banana468

FWIW, for us drinking isn't *that* big a deal.  That is to say, we're not planning to stop drinking when we have children and we'll still drink in front of them.  It'll be something that they learn about - things adults can do that children can't.If either one of us were intoxicated on a regular basis that would be the big issue. 

ExpatPumpkin

Aside from a glass of wine with dinner, a beer here and there, and the occassional night out with the boys (when he comes home pretty "happy"), my husband's not a big drinker. So this won't really be an issue for us. He's not in a fraternity I wouldn't expect him to miss out just because I can't partake. Having said that, I fully intend to have a glass of wine as soon as the doctors say it's safe. (Oh, I'm not currently pregnant, but plan to be in a year or so...)

banana468

Then I'm not a doctor Expat but you can have a glass of wine today.  :-D

ExpatPumpkin

Yes, maybe I'll open a bottle

ThePinkSuperhero

Aside from a glass of wine with dinner, a beer here and there, and the occassional night out with the boys (when he comes home pretty "happy"), my husband's not a big drinker. So this won't really be an issue for us. He's not in a fraternity Ditto for us.

laurenclaire1386

I like my afternoon cocktails, and I hate being left out of a good time.  Just wanted to see how everyone else felt about it, just out of curiosity.

jamm2019

I would never tell my husband he couldn't do something just because I am pregnant.  When I was pregnant with our last child he would go out with his friends, and I would pick him up at the bar.  It didn't bother me.  I know a few women friends in real life though that forbid their husbands to drink while they were pregnant.  I just didn't get it.  I am not his keeper, I cannot tell him what to do, just like if he couldn't do something I wouldn't stop just because he couldn't...