Wedding Etiquette Forum

Gift to FMIL

so my gifts to my bridal party are as follows:MOH & BMs: I bought their dresses for them after they picked them out and I'm getting them each a fun cocktail glass(those ones that come in a box and are themed) to reflect their personalities and their drinking stylesBM & GMs & FoB & FoG: I'm renting all their tuxes for them and each is getting a tankard with their name on it for some much anticipated drinking purposes! ;)MoB: I paid for her dress that she fell in love with for my weddingI want to offer to get my FMIL a new dress as well... They are coming over from the UK at thanksgiving and I thought I could word it something like this:"FMIL, it would be an honor if you would like to go dress shopping for the wedding. My mother and I had such a great time together when we went and it would mean a lot to me to have the bonding experience with you as well. Please consider this our gift to you for being a part of our special day and already going out of your way to come over twice in 6 months."Now, someone yell at me and tell me if I'm being tacky or putting her in a bad position, or saying something out of line or if you can suggest a better way to ask her if she'd like me to take her dress shopping because I feel like what I want to say and how it will end up coming out are two totallllyyy different things.might I add... I LOVE my FIL's, they are awesome!
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Re: Gift to FMIL

  • It's not really a gift to her since it's for the wedding.
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  • valid point. well I'm getting both mother's something aside the dress but FI and I havent figure out what yet (we're trying for something more personal since neither mother is a big drinker like the dads and the WP that includes our siblings) so how do I offer to buy her something for the wedding?
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  • I agree with Brie... I don't consider something a true gift if it's something they need to have for your wedding & wouldn't want/get otherwise
  • I would just call her (if you can, don't know what your phone plans are) and say "Hey FMIL, I would love to take you shopping for your dress for the wedding while you're here if you're interested. I think it'd be some great one-on-one girl time for us so we can chat and catch up." I wouldn't mention your mother; keep the focus on your relationship with your FMIL.
  • I think what you have there is fine. Just make it clear that your gift to everyone was to buy their attire, that way she doesn't think she's the only one and then decline out of trying to be polite.  Be prepared that many people think buying attire they have to wear in your wedding isn't really a gift, although if I were a BM, I'd be happy with it!
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  • I agree too, btw Bostonbride your wedding makes me extremely jealous because it is GORGEOUS
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  • Laura I love that idea.We usually skype them every weekend to say hello, so I'll mention it this saturday. good call keeping the focus on our relationship.and don't worry ladies we're covering the costs of everyone's attire AND getting them a gift. as I mentioned before, the glasses and the tankards for everyone because we know they'll use them A LOT. Probably going to do some form of photo album or jewelery for the moms in addition to the dress. I'm sure that'll be another post closer to the time...
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