Mother Taking Over Venue Search

FutureMrsP10

I'm not sure I'm posting in the right area, but I've searched everywhere and there's nothing like this that I can find.My mom has her own idea of what I want for a wedding venue. She's telling me about this one venue that shes been to before and is pushing relentlessly for me to agree to have the wedding there. I've been there too, but I don't like it nearly as much as some other venues that have been to. The only thing shes paying for is the venue and the food, so it makes sense for her to have a say in where it is held. That said, how do I get her to stop pushing me so hard without coming off like "Bridezilla." I love my mom. She's like a best friend to me, but it's really starting to anger me. :/Help?

Brie2010

If she's paying, she makes the ultimate decision. You have two choices:1.  Talk to her nicely about why you'd prefer the other venue and hope she agrees, but if she doesn't, agree to have it at her choice.2.  Pay for the venue you want yourself.

redheadfsu

Since mom is paying she has some say. But talk to her & explain why you don't like the venue/ like another venue more. Now if they are different prices she should decide, but if they are the same price point talk it out.

FutureMrsP10

I have pointed out the other ones I like to her, but she thinks they are over priced.My number one venue includes a ton of stuff that we would want, and on paper, looks more expensive.My moms pick doesn't include as much as mine, and IMO isn't as nice and is less expensive.I told her I would help if she needed. I already took on all of the other stuff so more of her funds could open up for the venue. She's on a business trip right now so when she gets back I'll talk to her again. wish me luck.

mwhitson14

Have you sat her down and said, "Mom, this is the venue I really want, and I'm sorry it's not what you want. Here's why I love the other venue better" and proceed to have several points ready why you think the other venue is better/you love it more.In the end though, she can still continue to push this on you, and you'll either have to give in, or pay for your venue yourself.

lyndausvi

Why does she like this one place more than the others?  Can you take what she likes about the venue and show her the others have the same or even better options/quality/whatever it is why she is pushing for that venue?

lyndausvi

cost difference can be an issue. Can you compare apples with apples in a spreadsheet to show how the one you like is actually not as expensive?

redheadfsu

Even if your pick includes more stuff the fact that it costs more is a problem. Find out what she is ok paying & then look at places in that price point or pay for it yourselves.

FutureMrsP10

I have sat her down, but I don't think I was able to get my point across because we didn't have much in front of us to look at to compare.She's been to the venue a many times for weddings and non-wedding events. She's organized non-wedding events there and swears by it. She's also never been to the venue I'm in love with. I'm going to try to drag her there sometime this month. This is probably one of the most frustrating parts that I've encountered so far. Thanks so much for the advice!

squirrly

In addition to taking her there, you need to do a side-by-side comparison of costs at both, I think.  For example, if the one you like includes linens, and the other doesn't, research the cost of linens & show that as an add-on.  If there are a few things that are included at the one you like that she was planning for you to pay for outside what she's paying for the venue, maybe she would be agreeable to you paying that portion of the cost so as to make it price-comparable.  You might also find out if the venue has any events coming up that you could get pics of to show her what it looks like all set up, etc.

LauraW313

You could also point out that you are willing to make up the difference price wise between her fav and your fav if the cost is the real issue. She pays what her fav would cost and you put the rest in. She doesn't spend more than she was intending and you get the venue you want.