Please help - arguing about photog

[Deleted User]

You guys are always incredibly helpful and I am really lost right now, so would love some opinions. FI has a relative who is an artist/photographer, does weddings but it's not his main business. Also did FI's bar mitzvah and he was happy with the photos. He would do our wedding for free. This is honestly an amazing deal. We wouldn't be able to afford more than a photography student otherwise, and this guy does have experience.  (we are saving $$ on pretty much everything else, so no room to cut other things for better photog).BUT, when I mention wanting to see his photos of the other weddings he's done, FI keeps getting really mad and saying it would be offensive to ask to look at these, because it's like saying we don't trust him. I tried to explain that I just want to see the photog's style and show him the pictures of his that I like the most, so I have an idea of what to expect and he knows what we would like. It just seems absolutely irrational to me to not see your photographer's photos of other weddings when you agree to have him do yours, even if it is a family member doing you a huge favor, and even if you know already that you will accept. Am I wrong here?

ExpatPumpkin

No, you're not wrong. The photographer should be happy to share his other wedding photos. I'd imagine that he's proud of his work. Does he have a website? Google his name in parenthesis if you're not sure. If he has a site, he should have some of this portfolio on it

[Deleted User]

Clarification: he doesn't have a website...I wish he did, that would make my life so much easier.

ExpatPumpkin

I think you should ask to see the other photos. What if he's really awful?

jennyp08

I'm in the same boat as you, and I made my fiance get his uncle's information for me.  As generous as free photography is, I don't want to spend my wedding day worrying about whether or not the photographer is doing what I want him to do.Tell him and your FI that you guys would like to sit down and talk to him just as you would any other photographer about what to expect, what will be done, etc.  Emphasize that you are doing this to make things go smoothly, not because you think his relative is a horrible photographer.However, its not pain free, just a warning.  I still feel a little odd talking things over with our "photographer."  He's donating his time so I don't want to be demanding.  On the other hand, my wedding will happen once, and I want to make sure that I'm comfortable with how the wedding photography will be done.  Be blunt with your fiance--you don't want to insult his relative, but if you can't preview his work, I REALLY don't think its a good idea.   If pictures come out poorly, you'll end up resenting a guy that will be around at family functions, etc. 

klovesd

No, you're not wrong. It's important to get to know a photographer's style before choosing. If you aren't happy with his work, then I wouldn't go with him- no matter the deal you'd be getting. The wedding photos are the one things that will last throughout the years.

nvdmeulen

not wrong at all, it's more absurd to assume that you would book him WITHOUT seeing his work (even if his work will be free). besides, as a PP said, I would think the photographer would be proud of his work too and would want to show it off. ask to see it.

ootmother2

You are not wrong here at allMy sister caved and agreeed to have FI's aunt do the photography.  Why?  I haven't a clue.The photographer had done a bit of professioal work but refuesed to give samples.Most of the photography was adequete if you don't count that she forgot to add film for the church part.w

lpstl

No, you aren't wrong. Even if you commit to using him before seeing his portfolio, you're going to see it eventually to get some inspiration for your must take list. Ask your fi what he plans to do if neither of you like his style. That's going to be ten times stickier than previewing the portfolio before making a decision.

TheFutureMrsM-LoungingBeachside

No, you are not wrong.  I would definitely ask to see pictures.

JaimeeP

Sometime within the next two years, I'm sure you will have an opportunity to get together with the Uncle to discuss the types of photos you would like. Ask him if you can look at some of his work to get ideas for your wedding.