To pay or not to pay?

ldcf11206

I was a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding on 8/15.  She is now going to be one of my bridesmaids in my wedding on 10/16/10.  For her wedding, she paid for all of the bridesmaids' hair & makeup.  She said it was her "gift" to all of us. However, she didn't actually pay.  Her mother did.I'm wondering if I have to pay for her hair & makeup for my wedding?  I don't have the money to fork out for all of my bridesmaids hair & makeup, and neither does my mother.  My wedding budget is much smaller than my friend's was.  Would it be rude for me not to pay for her hair & makeup at my wedding, since she paid for mine at her wedding? 

arbolita

You only have to pay if you are requiring her to get her hair and makeup done.

sucrets4

1.  Did she get you anything else or what that the only 'gift'?2.  Do you care if her hair and makeup are done in a certain way?  The only time you're obligated to pay is if you're insisting on something specific.

vicmo5

Are you requiring them to get their hair and makeup done?

gkb0910

What your BM did for you at her wedding has nothing to do with what you do for your BMs.  Unless you wanted to get your hair and make-up done, that's not much of a gift since she likely did it for the benefit of her and her pictures. The only way you'd have to pay for your BMs hair and make-up is if you forced them to get it done, and even then it's not really a gift for them, like I said.

ExpatPumpkin

Don't require any special hair or makeup. If you do, you have to pay... If your friend required hair and makeup at her wedding and paid for it, that's not really a gift. That's what you're supposed to do when you make it obligatory...

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

IMO, that's a crappy "gift." If you want their hair exactly the same (my opinion - don't do that) then pay for it. If you aren't requiring them to get their hair done, they can pay for it.

stina93446

It's not rude. Do what you can afford. Weddings aren't equal. Same goes for gift giving. You give what you can, not what someone else did. She decided to do those things for you (or, her mother did) and no one should expect you to do the same.If you are requiring hair and makeup, then yes, you should pay.

ldcf11206

Thank you ladies, for all of your responses!!  You've been helpful :-)