Guest list question

RoxyRuby

Hi all,My fiance and I are struggling with our guest list. We have small families so that is thankfully not an issue. Since we are a few years out of college it seems like every one is getting married and inviting us to weddings. While I am thrilled to be a part of their wedding, we really wanted to try and keep ours on the smaller side. Actually, size is not really an issue as much as wanting people there who we see more than once a year. Did any one else deal with the tough decision of cutting down the guest list, especially when you are invited to so many other people's wedding?Thanks!!

ExpatPumpkin

Destination wedding

kkchisholm

I'm not inviting a lot of college friends. I feel somewhat bad especially since one said "whens the date so I can ask for the week off" (rude to ask I know). and shes deff not invited.  But I doubt they would even realize it when the wedding day came around.

mocha beans

If any of them ask, just say you wanted to have a smaller wedding for financial reasons/personal reasons/yada yada.  I would hope they'd be good enough friends to understand that not everyone wants to have a huge, everyone we've ever met type guest list.

thesuninherhead

As I just said in another thread, we declined an invite we received just before our wedding on the basis that we weren't going to invite these people to our wedding. I wish we had done the same for another couple who invited us earlier in the year to theirs, because I know they wanted to come to ours and expected an invite after we'd been to theirs, but we simply couldn't fit them in.

sucrets4

You're under no obligation to invite people to your wedding, even if you were invited to theirs. Let them know you are having a smaller event if they ask.  Any rational person would understand.

RoxyRuby

That's the problem! People are always asking when the wedding is and I barely know. It is a year an a half away at least. I feel awkward because when we do nail down a venue I am just going to go out of my mind with those questions.The hard part is that people know our families have a lot of money (please don't take that the wrong way, it is just a fact) and people expect us tho throw a huge party.

agk0125

Just start spreading the word that you're planning a small intimate wedding. That's what I've been doing from the very beginning and people seem to be getting the hint.And I have also turned down a few wedding invites for couples that we know we aren't inviting. It just feels wrong to go to theirs if we're not going to invite them to ours.

mocha beans

"Thank you for asking, it's so sweet!  Right now we don't have definate plans, but we are thinking of a smaller wedding and have not finalized a guest list.  I'm sure you understand that many things can change in a year and a half."That's what I'd say when people ask.  You aren't telling them that they are or are not invited, and that they'll know if they are when the time comes.  A lot of people just ask those questions for conversation making and to be nosy.

redheadfsu

There is a tit for tat rule? Never even thought of this. I go to weddings I'm invited to & didn't think I HAD to invite them to mine. Just tell people you are having a small wedding. People understand that weddings are personal & expensive.