3rd Wheel BM

shannonalise

If you have two BM in one state who are very close to you, and close to one another, and you have another BM in a different state who is close to you, but never met the other BMs, is there an etiquette that indicates that I should try to facilitate their making a pre-wedding event connection? Either on the phone or in person? We have tried once before to get everyone together to meet, but OOT BM was unable to come up for our E-party. MOH is planning my bridal shower for December-ish and I know OOT BM will be in town, but I don't want her to feel like a 3rd wheel when MOH and other BM are planning the shower together. They are both very sweet and outgoing, so I know they would reach out to her, but I wasn't sure if I should take the lead on that. Thanks so much!

AlexiaANDRobert

I really wouldn't worry about it although it shows you care about your friends. They're all adults and if they're all sweet like you say they are, I'm sure things will work out fine. Maybe, if you want, treat them all to coffee or something when they get in town for your shower. GL!!!

shannonalise

Alexia, I love that idea! Thank you! I will do that.

[Deleted User]

Is there a way for your to have a get together with them before any of the pre wedding parties? If not, I wouldn't worry about it.

shannonalise

Cew, unfortunately, no.. I wish there was. But I love PP's idea of taking the three of them out to coffee when OOT BM gets into town. That would be really nice.

jamm2019

It might be nice for them to get to meet each other before the shower.  Depending on when OOT BM will be in town before the shower maybe all of you could go out for lunch and you could introduce them.

banana468

Do they at least have each other's email addresses?I was just a BM in SIL's wedding (SIL married DH's brother) and I didn't know the other BP members.   She gave the MOH our email addresses and phone numbers and we began contacting each other that way.  When I finally met most of the BP at the bachelorette, I felt like I was meeting some old friends!

aimerzkd214

I would make sure the MOH has her email address. I bet your OOT BM would appreeciate the MOH reaching out to her, so she doesn't feel left out, plus she may have some great ideas for the shower. I like the idea of all of you getting together for something informal before thr shower.

[Deleted User]

Email address is a good idea, you could write to all three girls and "introduce" them via email.  Two of my BMs live in Boston, one is a HS friend and the other I know from college.  They went shopping for BM dresses together, met for the first time that night and had a great time. 

danieliza1127

I think it's a nice gesture but totally unnecessary.  Hopefully they will meet at your shower or bachelorette party, but if not, they'll just meet the weekend of the wedding.  There's really no need to go out of your way to make that happen beforehand.  They are there on the wedding day to support you, not each other.  It doesn't really matter if they know each other well or not.I've been a BM 5 times and a bride once, so I'm speaking from experience.

TheSaltyPeanut

My BMs were from all over... they all actually met on the wedding weekend. We all went out for breakfast the day before the wedding and it was great. Even then, the last BM got into town the day of the wedding because she is a wedding photographer and had to shoot a wedding the night before. I wouldn't worry about it love, I'm sure they will all get along great from the way you described their personalities

shannonalise

So sorry I'm late responding to the most recent posts! Thank you all so much for your ideas! I'll probably either send a group email introducing them or give my MOH OOT BM's contact info - they have very similar personalities and I'm sure they'd get along just fine. I think I will definitely also take them out to lunch or coffee. I see what Stage is saying about "forcing" bonding time and I'll be sure not to make it awkward. Like new friends meeting old friends and just spending time with one another. Thank you all again for the advice!