Let's talk about cheating.

crfische

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating?If you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you?Have you ever cheated?Would you ever cheat?

Nebb

If I had proof and not just speculation, I would. They would deserve to know. If I found out someone I was dating wasnt single, I probably wouldnt do anything at the risk of getting a shitstorm rained down on me somehow. I would break it off though. I have, not on my husband but past boyfriends. On my husband, no. I would be utterly devestated if he cheated on me, and I could never imagine being this happy with someone else so I see no point.

wadingmoose

I've been in this situation before and I'm embarrassed to say that no, I did not tell her.  I didn't KNOW know, I just suspected.   And since he called me when he was in town once after my divorce, I'm pretty sure I was right.  But I didn't meet with him, so I still don't know.  Maybe he really did prefer having a drink with me over my ex-H, but I doubt it.Again, probably not.  But who knows.Yesno.  Kinda.  I've done things I'm not proud of.I have no idea.  One thing I've learned is there are no absolutes.

kikibaby

I would definitely tell a friend.I don't know if I would tell the wife/SO... maybe if I knew them?Um.... yes   But I would NOT do it again.

vallyhoo

I would have to have definitive proof to tell a friend their S/O was cheating. As in I saw it first hand or there were pictures (scandalous!)No, I don't think so I would tell their S/O. I would sever all ties with said cheater though.Never have cheated and don't have any plans to.

jajph1974

YesYesYes - when I was much youngerNo

danieliza1127

I would tell a friend if I knew her SO was cheating, if she was a very close friend who trusted me and if my means of knowing he is cheating are valid.  If it were just a Facebook friend or something, I don't know what I would do.If I were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would I tell?  I don't know.  Thankfully I've never been in that situation.I've never cheated and I can't imagine a circumstance where I ever would.  I feel like if you're to the point where you need to look outside of your relationship, you need to sit down with your SO and figure out what to do.  Either break-up or commit to solve the problems you have together.  Going outside the relationship just isn't an option.

J&K10910

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating?  A good friend, yes.  More of an acquaintance "friend", probably not.  But I'd have to have pretty good evidence before I told anyone.  I'd hate to destroy a relationship (and a friendship) because I'm jumping to conclusions.If you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you?  No, unless it was a good friend (But I'd probably know she wasn't single and that wouldn't be a problem).  But I would stop dating them.  This has happened to me, weirdest thing ever.  Have you ever cheated?  Yes. Would you ever cheat?  Not again. 

mandysmear

Yes.If I knew how to contact them, I might.  I would be worried that the wife would be so far in denial that she wouldn't believe me and would just think I was trying to break up her marriage.No.No. I mean never say never.  But, I'm 99.99999999999% sure I wouldn't do it. 

bbyckes

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating?It would depend on how close the friend was.  I would want my friend to tell me if she knew my partner was cheating on me.If you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you?No.  I'd probably want too, but I wouldn't. Have you ever cheated?Yes. Would you ever cheat? Not now, no.

anna.oskar

I'd tell her without a doubtI'd call it off and probably be too embarassed at being duped to say something.  Although I think I should tell in that situation.NeverNot a chance.

lyndausvi

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating?  not sure.  I guess it depends on how close of a friend they were.  I might steer them in the right direction to find out though.If you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you?  no.  I do not see the point.  I would not lie if asked. Have you ever cheated? no.  But I didn't really have many commited relationship either. Would you ever cheat?  I can't see me cheating.  As I said I did not have many commited relationships so if I did make the commited I take it very seriously.

ecsmiles

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating?It depends how close we are.  If it was one of the 3 or so girls that I consider to be BFFs then yes.  But if it was someone I only knew from going out on weekends, or a friend of a friend situation, no I wouldn't.  I wouldn't know their situations very well, so I kind of feel like it wouldn't be my placeIf you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you?This is a tough one.  I'd like to say yes, since obviously this guy is a dirt bag.  But if he has a family at home, it might be easier said than done.  Have you ever cheated?NoWould you ever cheat?No.  Its not worth all the hurt feelings and problems that come from it.  If you really want to be with someone else that badly, then its time to end your current relationship.

EmmaBride2B

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating? For sure - I've had a friend who didn't tell me before. It sucked. If you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you? Having been cheated on before, I'd have to admit I'd really, really want to. Dunno if I would though. Have you ever cheated? Nope. Would you ever cheat? No, if you wanna date other people you shouldn't be married/dating. It seems like a lot of people who cheat just want to live the single life, so, do that. Seriously, it's not worth it to drag some poor person along - you can't have it both ways without someone getting hurt.

jfgrad06

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating? I'd give the cheater a chance to confess first. If they refused to, I would do it.If you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you? Again, I think I would try to get them to confess on their own. Most likey, in this situation, I would break it off, but keep my mouth shut.Have you ever cheated? One time. I was drunk and ended up messing around a little bit with a guy. I basically freaked out and ran away before anything really serious happened. I was in high school and had only been dating my BF for a couple of months. I felt so bad about it, I would never do it again.Would you ever cheat? Not a chance in hell

TiDa2009

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating?If I knew for sure, I would.  Even if it put some strain on our relationship, I would have to.  I couldn't imagine finding out my SO was cheating on me and that one of my friends knew about it and didn't tell me. If you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you?I wouldn't, no.  That would be his battle to fight, not mine.Have you ever cheated?I kissed another boy when I was 13 because I was mad at my boyfriend.  Other than that, no.Would you ever cheat?No.  I would leave FI if he ever cheated on me, so I would never do it to him.  I feel if the relationship is in a bad enough state for cheating, that it would be best to just end it.

salt78

Absolutely. I've done that before. Yes. Hell no not ever again.

kikibaby

I am soglad I'm not the only person who has cheated.  I was scared to say yes and get all judged.

kschwedic

I had a friend who's boyfriend cheated on her several times (they were all speculation until he attempted to cheat on her with me).  I told her immediately and at first, she didn't believe me and refused to talk to me, but then found out it was true and ended the relationship.I don't know if I'd tell the wife/SO, but I would most definitely end the relationship.No.No.

salt78

And let me just add that I have never, ever cheated on FI.

Mrs.C-To-Be

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating? I don't think I could sit by and be her friend if I didn't tell her.  It would make it so uncomfortable.  That said, it would be hard seeing as how most couples we know, both parties are our friends.If you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you? I don't think I would say anything to their wife, I would just cut off the relationship I was having with them.Have you ever cheated? Nope.  Would you ever cheat?  No.  I can't imagine doing that to him, or vise versa.  I would hope that if our relationship got to this point we would have enough respect for each other to just walk away - not cheat.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Yes, if I knew for sure (and probably had some proof). I couldn't live with myself if I kept that inside, and I would want her to know. I wouldn't tell if I just speculated. No. It's not my business to get into their lives (I've been in that situation before) - now if she was a friend or something, that would be totally different, but I would presumably know about their marriage if that was the case. No. I guess never say never, but I can't even imagine a situation where this would happen. And if it came to the point where the relationship was that troubled that I would consider it, I hope I would still the clarity of thought to just get out of the relationship rather than cheat.

polichik

I'd confront my friend's SO and tell him/her that they had one week to tell the partner so I'd do it for them. I'm weird, so I'd probaby engage the cheating spouse in a conversation about what happened. I'd tell him that he can still save his marriage, but only if he decides to be up-front with his spouse. I doubt the wife would believe me if I said it. I've never cheated, although I was dating another guy when I met FI. Nothing happened between us at the time, but I totally fell for him emotionally. I'd like to say no, but after everything I've seen, I don't think people can give an answer to that. Few people enter a marriage saying, "hm, you know what would be fun? Cheating on DH in 10 years!" But a lot of people do. Cheating doesn't happen when the relationship is fine. The best defense is staying on top of the relationship and communicating with your partner if problems are happening. I used to believe that affairs were all the cheating partner's fault, but my opinions have changed over the past year (my specialty is now in couples recovering from infidelity). Ok, soapbox over. Sorry. I'm fascinated by this topic.

crfische

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating? Yes because I sure as hell hope someone would tell me.If you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you? I think I would, actually. Even thought I don't think I should, I'm pretty sure I would.Have you ever cheated?  Yes, when I was in college. Never on Scott.  Would you ever cheat?  I sure as hell hope not!

ExpatPumpkin

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating? [b]That's really tough. I don't know - it would depend on the circumstances.[/b] If you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you? [b]Yes, I'd have no problem with that.[/b] Have you ever cheated? [b]Yes, when I was younger, but I wasn't in a really serious relationship.[/b] Would you ever cheat? [b]No way. Even if I wanted to, it's just not worth it. And I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt...[/b]

ring_pop

If I thought she'd believe me, definitely yes. If I thought she wouldn't believe me and go on the defensive instead, I might try to hint and hope she figured it out.No. I'd just end it.Errm, sorta yes. I'm gonna go with "We were on a break".Not again. I learned from that experience - cheating, or the temptation to cheat is really a symptom of your own relationship going sour, so if the temptation ever came up, I'd go for counseling.

SwedishChick2011

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating?  yesIf you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you?  not sure; however, I would definitely break off my relationship with the personHave you ever cheated?  noWould you ever cheat?  no

jennylee753

1. I have told my best friend that her boyfriend she was trying to work things out with had been telling people that he was with other girls during that time. I told "best friend" about this and she basically severed ties with me. We were roommates at the time so that was really awkward. I will NEVER tell a friend that her man is cheating. I've learned my lesson. Never never never. 2. I wouldn't tell her, that is not my place. I would just end the relationship as soon as I found out. 3. Nope. 4. NEVER. I have had bad dreams about that and never could bring myself to do it.

georgia_bride09

I would tell a close friend if I had first hand knowledge of said cheating. If I was dating someone and found out they weren't single, I would not tell their S/O, but I would break it off. I have never cheated; I have only had two serious relationships, one of them my husband. I would never cheat on my husband; I can't imagine ever putting myself in a situation where that would even be an option.  

jfgrad06

Sidenote: I was cheated on and later found out that a friend knew about it and never told me. I forgave the cheater, but I still hate that friend to this day. Weird eh?

amalama

Would you tell your friend if you knew her significant other was cheating?Yes, if I was friend's with the girl, and I was positive. If I just had suspicions, I might discuss them with the girl depending on if it came up (like if she was discussing her own suspicions) but I wouldn't just come out and say I thought he was cheating without knowing for sure.I have been on the other side of that situation and honestly finding out that half of my then-friends knew about it probably hurt worse than the cheating.If you were dating someone and found out they weren't single, would you tell their wife/SO that he was cheating on them with you?If I found out because I ran into them together, than I would probably be pissed and end up blurting it out. If I had never met her, I probably wouldn't go out of my way to do so.Have you ever cheated?Yes, on above cheating BF. One of the many nights I was convinced he cheated on me and was going to dump him, but he talked me out of it the next day. I am ashamed of that sentence for so many reasons.Would you ever cheat?No, not now. It was totally out of anger, and now I would definitely handle that situation differently (better!).