Mom's inviting the whole world (sorry a little long)

suz0989

This is my second wedding, so my parents, who generously paid for my first wedding, are only paying for FI and my plane ticket for the honeymoon.  This would be no problem, if my mom didn't keep inviting more people then she originally gave me a list for.  It's three months away from the wedding and our guest list was finalized months ago, we are having a smallish wedding -100 people and had to forego some coworkers and people we really wanted to come, to keep the list down.My mom told me last week, she told her friend, whom I and FI met once, to "keep the weekend open, b/c I think you are invited".  I told her "I know you are excited, but we can't invite everyone.  We need to keep the list down".  I hoped that would be the end of it, but my dad told me today that her boss "demanded" to get an invite to the wedding and my mom, having no back bone, agreed.  I have never met this lady before and I'm not even inviting my boss.  I don't know what to do.  I don't want to get her in trouble, but I don't want to invite some stranger when I can't invite my coworkers who I see everyday.  They offered to pay for the extra people, but in the past, they have offered to pay for things and haven't come through, so I know I can't reasonably count on them to have the extra money.  They mean well, but sometimes they just dont have the money.  What do you think I should do?  I've tried talking to her and it seems like that didn't help.

pumpkinpumpkin

are only paying for FI and my plane ticket for the honeymoonOnly??

Mrs.B6302007

a)Tell her to shut it2) demand that she fork over money for opening her big mouthiii) add that without money in your hand BEFORE the wedding, her guests will have NO seats at the reception and stick to it

suz0989

ok, i just meant that they aren't paying for the whole wedding, so the number of people they can invite are limited, b/c we are paying for the whole thing.  way to pick out the tiniest thing and blow it out of proportion.  I just want advice.  Jeesh.

salt78

You need to put your foot down. If you aren't even inviting your own boss and coworkers there is no reason for your mother's boss to come. And who DEMANDS to be invited to something anyway? That person needs to be put in their place.

jfgrad06

She can invite all the extras she wants...if she pays. Nicely tell her that you and your FI can NOT afford ANY extra people and if she wants them, then she needs to pay for them upfront. Don't wait until the last minute.

kate51485

Suz, I read the 'only' as you intended.  I think you are within your right to tell your mom that the guest list has already been finalized, and unless she is able to pay for x amount of additional guests by whatever deadline, they will not be able to attend.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

How familiar are they with the venue? Can you tell her you are already at capacity and can't fit more people in? It's generous that you invited people they wanted to invite at all, if you're paying for it.

suz0989

My mom's been great, she's come with me for everything, so she knows exactly how many people can fit in our venue.  The deadline thing is a good idea, sometimes when you are in a situation, it's hard to look outside the box and see solutions like that.

jfgrad06

ok, i just meant that they aren't paying for the whole wedding, so the number of people they can invite are limited, b/c we are paying for the whole thing. way to pick out the tiniest thing and blow it out of proportion. I just want advice. Jeesh. And you just did the same thing? All of the responses you got, and you only responded to hers?

danieliza1127

Just say no.  Just don't send those people invitations.  It's not your fault if your  mom is giving them incorrect information. 

suz0989

Sorry, i'm at work and doing two things at once, so I can't respond to everything as it happens

SwedishChick2011

Either say no, or ask for the money for the extra guests up-front.