Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Who do I have to feed?

Ok...my venue holds 120 for the reception.I was stupid and didn't really plan too well for that, but let's ignore that fact for now.My mom keeps telling me I have to feed my minister/chaplain whatever we end up using, and my photographer, DJ, etc. Is this true?I know I have to ask the venue, but do you think they count in my 120?We're going to have a sword ceremony with six marines, we hope, but hopefully they'll be friends of ours and we're going to invite them too...so counting all of those people that's 10 (I think I have two photographers).So now I'm down to 110 invites, not counting the WP.So longish questions short: Who do I have to feed other than my guests?
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Re: Who do I have to feed?

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    Everyone who comes to your reception.
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    You need to feed anyone who is working: photographer, DJ, etc. If you're not close to the minister, simply don't invite him/her to the reception. The 120 limit is probably due to the fire code. This means that everyone, whether they're a guest or employee, counts. Check with your venue to be sure.
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    Vendors need to be feed, but do not count towards your total. They should eat in a different room.
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    Is the 120 a maximum capacity for fire code regulations? If so, then yeah, you definitely have to count them. We invited our priest, and also provided meals for the DJ, photographer and videographer. If you have a DOC, you should probably feed them too.
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    Your venue should offer a vendor meal. They don't have to eat the same food you're feeding your guests but they do need to be fed and often their contract will stipulate that.
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    Check your contracts.  Our venue had a maximum capacity that accounted for each body in the room, not the number of mouths fed.  In my case the vendors would count in that total.  If it's just mouths fed, that's a different story.  Each vendor should have included in your contract whether or not they need to be fed during the reception.  If they didn't, ask them.  I would plan to feed every vendor that works the reception.  The officiant and his/her spouse should be invited to the reception as guests, and treated as such.
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    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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    All the people you mentioned above.
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    Ok...it's 120 guests max with a dance floor, so it not a fire code issue because the room can hold closer to 150 with no floor.... We are probably going to use a chaplain we can get through the military, but we do not know him. Do I still have to invite him/her to the reception?
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    Yes he should still be invited.  I did not know our officiant, but he performed the most important part of the day.  The least we could do to thank him was invite him and his wife to our reception and feed them.  Our officiant declined because he didn't know us personally.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
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    Typically, anyone who will be occupying a chair at the reception is included in your total.  Yes, you need to feed the DJ, photogs, videographer, and it would be courteous to invite your officiant.  Many times if they don't know you they will decline, but it's the right thing to invite them.Check with your venue for final answers, but ours gave vendor meals for 50% off and recommended vendors ate free.  Everything was laid out on a worksheet that the venue provided, since they do weddings all the time.  But the definite answer is to check with your venue, as they can all be different.
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    Yes, you need to feed all those people. With my venue, the vendors didn't count against my guests. My venue included vendor meals (which was the same as our food - and not a sandwich like some venues here do instead - I had to give a count aside from my guest total) for free. My DJ had it stuipulated in his contract that he had to be fed, so check your contracts.
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