Wedding Etiquette Forum

Any tips for a Bridesmaid to FSIL

Hi ladies - Haven't been here for a while, would love your thoughts.  My brother is getting married and his fiancee asked me to be one of her bridesmaids - I'm honored!I don't really know FSIL well, only met once, but she is a doll and I'm beyond delighted for my brother.I live in a different state, I don't want to be a drain. . . any ideas of how I can help her? Anything you wish your BMs had done, taken care of?  Any ideas of what a good future sister can do to help?  Thanks!
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Re: Any tips for a Bridesmaid to FSIL

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    If you are willing to help her out with anything, just let her know that. If you want to play a role in throwing her a shower (if there is one), just ask her for contact info for the other BMs and maybe you can help out with that if you are able to attend it. At our RD, SIL showed a DVD photo montage that she had made and gave a nice little speech. She also volunteered to give a toast at the wedding when she learned that none of the groomsmen were planning to do it.
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    Like gg said, just let her know you're willing to help. Some brides are total DIYers and would love an extra hand when you're around, some brides will just purchase what they need and move on. She might be the type that appreciates something cool you found on the internet, she might not. Just let her know you're ready and willing, and she'll use you if she needs you.I've not said a single thing for my BMs to help me, and they haven't really offered. If they would offer, I'd like to do stuff with them, but anyway. Everyone is different!
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    To be honest, I was most appreciative of the people who stayed out of our way during the planning process - we did our own research and for the most part, advice and input was just annoying unless we specifically asked for it. I was very grateful that my BMs offered to help me assemble invitations, but I don't know if you can do that living far away. I'd just tell her to feel free if there's anything you can help her with. Especially closer to the wedding, there might be stuff like invitations or favours that you can help with. If it's possible for you, maybe you can set a day or two to visit them to help with little tasks like that.
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    That's really sweet of you to be so excited.  Honestly, I would just offer your help and remind her that you're still willing closer to the date.  I think that planning a bachelorette party, or a shower, or an engagement party is also a really nice thing to do, but since you're out of town that may not be possible.It also might be nice to make an effort just to get to know her a little better--e-mails, send an engagement card or gift, make a point to hang out when you're in town.
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    It might be fun if you have any wedding expos coming up that she'd like to attend if you offered to join her. I went with some friends and we had lunch, as well, and made a day of it. It was great. Later, just make yourself available to go BM dress shopping when it comes time. And in the meantime, you can just tell her you're happy to talk wedding planning anytime she'd like. If she wants, she'll take you up on it. I have some friends who have been great to bounce ideas off of, and I love knowing they're willing to listen to endless discussion of details. (this assumes you're ok with this, of course!)
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    Offer help, but don't be offended if she doesn't take you up on the offer, especially if you're far away.DH's sis was in our wedding and didn't/couldn't do a thing and I didn't mind at all. 
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    I was just a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding from far away. I talked to my bro and FSIL a lot and they'd say "ohhh we're having trouble finding a DJ" so I offered to help with those type things. I got online and got reviews from the knot, then called for pricing and sent them the spreadsheet with all the info. They said it helped a ton!
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