Wedding Etiquette Forum

F/U Disappearing Bridesmaid

Cliffs notes of original post: one of my bridesmaids disappeared for 2 weeks, was unsure if she still wanted to be in the wedding Update: She called me finally and explained that she was "ohmigod so busy" with grad school and it "stressed her out too much to talk about it" so she didn't call at all. She's still in the wedding and was surprised when I even asked her about it.
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Re: F/U Disappearing Bridesmaid

  • Hmmm, I didn't read your original post but if I didn't hear from one of my best friends for 2 weeks I wouldn't think anything of it and I definitely wouldn't think it meant she didn't want to be in the wedding. 
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  • What a perfect illustration of that fact that brides sometimes freak out over nothing, when other people are just busy living their lives. 

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    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
  • Oh, phew! I was really worried about this. Salt's right, you may be a little bit on the ridiculous side. Relax, breathe, and enjoy planning your wedding.
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  • I didn't read your original post either, but I agree with Dani.  There are times I go about a month without talking to my best friend and I wouldn't think that means she wants out of the wedding.  I know she's a grad student and is busy.
  • I agree with all of the above ladies. I have not talked to my BMs for a month before. Also she is in grad school. Come on.
  • It was odd that i hadn't heard from her. I usually talked to her every couple days, and if I didn't hear from her, something was wrong.
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  • Maybe she got tired of you talking about your wedding all the time.
  • When I lived in California, I went a month without talking to my best friend in the world. Thinking she would just drop out is a bit presumptuous.
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  • FWIW - I am am always the one reaching out to my friends and keeping us all in the loop together. People would get really worried about me when I was in grad school and not doing these things, but they never thought I hated them. At times, grad school can get really tough and you just have to buckle down and do work. Hopefully people are mature enough to realize no one hates any one. It is just life.
  • Is this the friend you told could not have furniture delivered the day of your wedding because it might possibly make her late?
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  • Um, I can understand being worried about her and all, but why fly off the deepend and assume she wasn't going to be in the wedding anymore?
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  • 1) I don't talk about the wedding all the time. Most of our conversations are about her and her jackazz boyfriend. 2) yes, its' the one who i asked to not have furniture delivered at 9 a.m. an hour away the day of the wedding when she had her hair appt at 10.
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  • maybe she doesn't like to talk to you because you talk about her jackazz boyfriend... In my experience, it takes no more than 1/2 an hour to have furniture delivered. Especially if she's properly prepared for it.
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  • SHE talks about her jackazz boyfriend. I'm just glad everything worked out.
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  • i still think you're a bit ridiculous.
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  • I kind of agree with P2.
  • I go significant amounts of time without talking to my wedding party (obviously my closest friends).  I always assume they are busy- not that it has anything to do with my wedding.  It only bums me out because it typically means they are too busy to go out like we normally do.  I miss hanging out, but I know we'll catch up.
    WHO DEY!
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