Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Feed the ceremony musicians?

HEY LADIES! question about etiquette for the ceremony musicians... our ceremony, cocktail hour and reception are all at the same location. should we offer a meal to our ceremony musicians or assume that they will leave after the ceremony? or should i just ask them what they are expecting?? thanks :)

Re: Feed the ceremony musicians?

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    I wouldn't feed them.  They should leave after the ceremony.
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    No, you don't have to.I knew one person in our string quartet and we didn't invite them to stay.  It's a job to them.  (oh, and ours was also in the same location)
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    If they are not playing for the cocktail hour or reception, I would expect them to leave after the ceremony.  Make sure you pay them before the ceremony or have someone set to pay them immediately after so they don't have to hang around waiting for you or your FI.
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    When people have this dilemma at the country club where I work they almost always decide to feed them. Although, this is probably because vendor meals cost way less than the plated dinner they are serving at the wedding (probably only $35.00). Maybe your venue has this option?
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    Dh is a musician who occasionally plays weddings. If he's just playing the ceremony, he doesn't expect to get fed -- but he's been pleasantly surprised a few times when he was invited to stay for the cocktail hour and get some food/drink there. It's not required, but nice if you want to do it. Also, he typically knows the people in at least some capacity (friends of friends, for example, so not total strangers) so that affects it too. But he wouldn't expect (or want) to stay for the full meal.
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    thanks!! the musicians are my moh's brother in law and his friend. i like the idea of asking them to stay for the cocktail hour if they are interested. the country club that we are getting married at does offer a 30 dollar meal.... but since they wouldnt be performing during the reception i wouldnt want them to be sitting somewhere outside of the room eating or waiting around until the meal is served, unless we invited them to sit at a table with everyone... not sure how that works! but i am leaning toward the idea of offering for them stay for the cocktail hour. any more ideas would be great! thanks!
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    It's always nice to ask. Most ceremony musicians will decline though. Probably better things to do that day after the ceremony.Reception musicians, always
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    So who should be fed then?  I figured the DJ and the photographer.  For me those are really the only vendors at my reception.  But are there any other vendors to worry about?
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    Your DJ and your photographer should definitely be fed.  You should also give your officiant an invite, but he'll most likely decline.
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