Where to sit guest that is coming that BM invited?

rkw0717

So one of of of my BM's is bringing one of her friends to come to the wedding with her and her husband. I do not know this girl and only met her once, when my BM went to try on her dress and brought her with her. I have all the bridal party and their SO's sitting with us, all at the head table. My question is, where do I put the guest my BM invited? There's BARELY enough room for all of us in the bridal party as it is, much less any extras. She doesn't know anyone else that will be there so I'd feel bad sitting her next to anyone else (even thought I don't even know her), but really don't feel like I should have to cram an extra seat in to an already crammed headtable just cause BM invited an extra person (not her husband). I guess I could sit BM, her husband and her guest together at a separate table, but that kind of defeats the whole keeping the bridal party together things I was going for.

OliveOilsMom

Why did you allow your BM to invite an extra guest other than her husband?  If I were you, I would explain to BM that the invitation sent to her was only meant for her and H.  Apologize for the misunderstanding, even though it was BM's fault.

angelstar975

Why is your BM bringing this person if her husband is able to go and you don't even know the other girl?

aragx6

Yeah count me in the I-don't-undertsand-why this-extra-is-allowed-to-come boat.

MyUserName1

I don't understand either, but if you're already committed to inviting her, I'd just stick her at a table with other friends, even if she won't know them.  I certainly wouldn't put a non-date that I didn't really know at my table...

rkw0717

I didn't allow it and just found out. I was finalizing the seating chart and then found this out! BM is the kind of person that would probably end a friendship if I didn't let her bring her tag along friend, so I don't know what to do. I'm trying to just suck it up and deal with it, but finding a place for the extra guest to sit is a huge PIA!

angelstar975

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_where-to-sit-guest-that-is-coming-that-bm-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:104cbc4b-e8c5-4301-9129-060f48b5c772Post:6563fd0b-3e93-4052-97bc-02bbce2d3b95">Re: Where to sit guest that is coming that BM invited?</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't allow it and just found out. I was finalizing the seating chart and then found this out!<strong> BM is the kind of person that would probably end a friendship if I didn't let her bring her tag along friend</strong>, so I don't know what to do. I'm trying to just suck it up and deal with it, but finding a place for the extra guest to sit is a huge PIA!
Posted by rkw0717[/QUOTE]

If this is true, she doesn't really sound like a friend worth having anyway.

I would just stick this person at a table with other singles or something... maybe with a few people at least close to the same age, so they might have something in common. You certainly don't need to put her at the head table.

achiduck

Your BM is weird. Who brings a random person in addition to their spouse to a wedding? Do you even know this freind?

brilibby4

I would tell BM she couldn't bring her friend.  If she honestly ended our friendship over that, then I wouldn't want her as a friend anyway.

tpender13

Ditto PPs. I would tell your BM that you cannot accommodate this extra friend. If she really ends the friendship, then at least the seats you reserved at the head table for her and her husband won't be needed. Voila! More room at the head table for friends who aren't so petty and ridiculous!

rkw0717

She is a childhood friend of mine from middle school and we USED to be extremely close. When it came time to pick my bridal party, she was the first one that came to mind. We haven't been as close over the past few years and don't live in the same town, but that didn't change the fact that I wanted her to be in my wedding. I never would have thought she would have done some of the things she has done throughout this whole wedding process and to be honest, I'm ready to put it all behind me. It's too close to the wedding to get any more upset over this than I already am and finding a damn seat is the last thing I have to do regarding this mess. Ugh. It took going through all of this (and other things she's done since becoming a BM) to really realize that we aren't the friends we used to be.

Thanks for the advice. There are a few single friends that will be there, so this would probably be the most appropraite place to put her I suppose.

wowand135

Sounds like it's too late to un-invite her. There is no reason to let her sit at your table though. Put her wherever she fits.

novchic

i honestly feel that if you were not invited by the bride or groom, then you have no right to be there. If your bm invited her, i would tell her that sorry, you didnt plan for extra guests. If the bm ends the relationship then oh well. a real friend would not do that. And it is NEVER too late to uninvite someone. especially when you or the groom didn't even invite them in the first place. your bm was way out of line to do that. If she is a real friend she would understand. If not than you know one less person you can trust. Remember... it's YOUR day, not your bm's. What YOu and your groom says goes... not what she wants.