Wedding Etiquette Forum

How to address invite - not married now, will be married at the time of our wedding

FI's friend is engaged, and getting married in August.  We intend to send invites out in mid-July for our September wedding.

Do we address the invite to Mr. X Y and Ms. A B, or to Mr. and Mrs. X Y?
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Re: How to address invite - not married now, will be married at the time of our wedding

  • You address it to who they are at the time you mail invitations. If they live together it's: Ms. Jane Smith Mr. Robert Joe 224 Main Street Anytown, Connecticut 06222
  • This was us for my friend's wedding, since it was a month after our wedding and her invites came a couple weeks before our wedding.  

    They addressed it as Miss A B and Mr. X Y.  
    I filled out the response card with Mr. & Mrs. XY since they would be using those for the placecards, and we would be married by then.
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  • Thanks!  And great thing to note for the escort cards...will need to keep in mind they will be Mr and Mrs at that point.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_address-invite-not-married-now-will-married-time-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:10574491-3cdc-4c21-9d05-7019f82289caPost:3b1f99ac-e47b-47fb-b4b0-f56f360bef30">Re: How to address invite - not married now, will be married at the time of our wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks!  And great thing to note for the escort cards...will need to keep in mind they will be Mr and Mrs at that point.
    Posted by meima[/QUOTE]

    <div>Do you know that she's changing her name?</div>
  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_address-invite-not-married-now-will-married-time-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:10574491-3cdc-4c21-9d05-7019f82289caPost:badc251d-711c-46a3-a264-20b65e70559a">Re: How to address invite - not married now, will be married at the time of our wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to address invite - not married now, will be married at the time of our wedding : Do you know that she's changing her name?
    Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

    <div>Exactly what I was thinking. Ask her if you are not sure. </div>
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  • for those that I knew that would be changing their names I addressed it as "the future mr and mrs. john smith"

    I know that's not proper etiquette, but we knew every couple enough to know they wouldn't care
  • I'd make sure to check that she is changing her name.  I am not and have already had to correct a few people about this decision.  Many people just assumed.  
  • Yeah, I would definitely check with her and see whether or not she's planning on becomes Mrs. Him - if she's not, then your addressing problem gets a lot less difficult.

    If she is changing her name, though, I kind of like the "Future Mr. and Mrs." wording. It may not be anywhere in Emily Post, but etiquette is first and foremost about being kind and gracious to put people at ease, and using wording like that on an invite is a cute and sweet way of acknowledging that they have a big, wonderful life change coming up.
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  • That was one of the things I did think to ask her :) she is.
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  • I would love to see Future Mr and Mrs if I was about to be married, also. I vote to write that on there.
  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I would use their current times at the time the addresses are written.  You can have different names for them on your seating chart or escort cards.  Why confuse the postal service?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_address-invite-not-married-now-will-married-time-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:10574491-3cdc-4c21-9d05-7019f82289caPost:952e00f3-cbcf-45a9-a029-991b019b7970">Re: How to address invite - not married now, will be married at the time of our wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would use their current times at the time the addresses are written.  You can have different names for them on your seating chart or escort cards.  Why confuse the postal service?
    Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

    Does the postal service actually care, though? I get stuff delivered here for past residents of this address all the time, and I'm not sure whether they actually know somebody with my name is currently a resident here. Maybe it depends on whether you live in your own home or a rental.
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_address-invite-not-married-now-will-married-time-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:10574491-3cdc-4c21-9d05-7019f82289caPost:229d6e20-0c83-4d7e-97ad-61365e046ade">Re: How to address invite - not married now, will be married at the time of our wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to address invite - not married now, will be married at the time of our wedding : Does the postal service actually care, though? I get stuff delivered here for past residents of this address all the time, and I'm not sure whether they actually know somebody with my name is currently a resident here. Maybe it depends on whether you live in your own home or a rental.
    Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

    <div>Before I was married (and before H moved into our apartment), the mail carrier actually submitted mail addressed to H at our address back to the main office to be returned to sender because no one with H's name lived here for about 10% of the mail meant for him.  How was that person supposed to know that after the wedding, H would live here.  (That being said, we do get prior residents' mail sometimes, I don't know if some of the mail people screen through the mail more closely than others.)</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_address-invite-not-married-now-will-married-time-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:10574491-3cdc-4c21-9d05-7019f82289caPost:f51909cc-e87a-466a-a634-e91bd388075b">Re: How to address invite - not married now, will be married at the time of our wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to address invite - not married now, will be married at the time of our wedding : Before I was married (and before H moved into our apartment), the mail carrier actually submitted mail addressed to H at our address back to the main office to be returned to sender because no one with H's name lived here for about 10% of the mail meant for him.  How was that person supposed to know that after the wedding, H would live here.  (That being said, we do get prior residents' mail sometimes, I don't know if some of the mail people screen through the mail more closely than others.)
    Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>In one place I rented I had mail for me returned to sender because I hadn't put my name on our box yet.  I think as long as someone with that name is at the address, it wouldn't be a big deal.  So, if the couple lives together and gets a piece of mail addressed to "The Future Mr. and Mrs. FI's name," as long as the FI actually lives there, it would be fine.  

    </div>
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