Are the bride and groom expected to give speeches at reception?

jsmith7480

My fiancee feels we are obligated to make short speeches/toasts at our wedding reception.  She says it would be rude for us not to publicly and formally thank our guests for coming and her parents for hosting.

I thought making the rounds from table to table during dinner was an appropriate and acceptable time and way to thank people for coming, both because it's more personal, and also because I'm a hesitant and nervous public speaker.  Just getting through the day and putting your best foot forward in front of so many people on this big occasion is trying enough, no?

As for publicly thanking her parents, it's clear from our invitations that they are hosting, and I've been to plenty of weddings where the groom and bride have not spoken.  On the other hand, I don't want to be rude.

Thoughts?

[Deleted User]

I don't know if the bride and groom are expected to give a speech, but it is a nice gesture.

My H and I told our dj we wanted to and we did it shortly after dinner. My H said more than I did (he named some people that were there that were really influential in his life/where he is today), bc I knew I would got a bit emotional (that is just me). But I also said a few short words. Even though neither one of our families hosted our reception, we still thanked our parents and everyone who could share our day with us.

rbtrumpet

we gave our thank-you speaches at the rehearsal dinner.  We only had MOH/BM toasts at the wedding.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bride-groom-expected-give-speeches-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1062c984-5390-43a0-887c-289d0d292a7fPost:0c48a72d-0f75-4dd9-a595-b12c73cba503">Re: Are the bride and groom expected to give speeches at reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]we gave our thank-you speaches at the rehearsal dinner.  We only had MOH/BM toasts at the wedding.
Posted by rbtrumpet[/QUOTE]

We did that, too. That is why I didn't say much at the wedding, but H wanted to name some specific people that were not at the RD. Most definitely did my MOH and BM give their toasts/speeches at the wedding reception.

tenofcups4me

I've seen short speeches from the bride and groom at the wedding more and more often in recent years -- and I like it. I think as either the hosts or the guests of honor, the couple has a responsibility to address their guests. Of course they should also do table rounds, but that's not the same thing. The speeches are typically short and both parts of the couple speak, though sometimes both stand together and only the bride or groom actually speaks.

My ex- and I did this at my first wedding -- a quick thank you to all guests, especially those who had traveled, a callout by name to the friend who had fixed us up, thanks to his parents, and ending with special thanks to my parents.

I don't see how doing a speech at the rehearsal dinner has anything to do with whether or not you speak at the wedding since most guests are not at the rehearsal dinner.

MsLaura31

If your FI is bringing this up to you, it might be because it's something that is common in her circle and her family would expect. Even if that's not the case, it will be a very nice gesture and a moment that your families will always remember. You'll have already spent twenty minutes in front of your guests saying very meaningful vows; it won't be scary at all to say a few words of thanks at the reception.

Don't make it a big, long speech. Just a simple: "We feel so loved that you are all with us tonight. Thank you to my family for years of love and support, and thank you to our hosts, FI's family. We hope you all have a wonderful time tonight!" If you really want brownie points, throw something in about how beautiful your FI looks and how lucky you are, because I'm sure you'll be thinking it anyway.

squirrly

It's certainly acceptable to make a speech at the reception.  But it's also acceptable not to.  My H did at ours, but I did not. 

iamjoesgurl

I got up and thanked our guests for joining us for our special day.  I think that if you feel more comfortable thanking guests as you walk around to the different tables at the reception, that should be fine.  I agree that while not required, the "thank you" is appreciated.

marisah83

We plan to do a thank you speech at the rehearsal dinner but not at the reception.  I've actually never been to a wedding where the bride and groom made a speech at the reception.

emyinpink

Typically he/she who hosts the wedding, makes a speech at the reception (typically the father of the bride, as the family of the bride was historically the host).

However, nowadays, there are often multiple hosts, or it's hosted just by the bride and groom (what we're doing in our case). Since we're hosting, we're going to say a few words thanking everyone for coming at the reception, but this is optional, not required (actually, no toasts at all are actually required).

tenofcups4me

In Response to Re: Are the bride and groom expected to give speeches at reception?:
[QUOTE i've only been to one wedding where the B&G spoke and it was wierd... like, almost staged to be the center of attention. 
Posted by eamaxin[/QUOTE]

LOL. Huh, bride and groom being the center of attention at their own wedding. What will they think of next?