OOT Extended Family and their SO's

SweetTea87

My Great Aunt and her family live in New Jersey.  She is my godmother, so I want to invite her, her husband, and 4 children to our wedding.  The 2 oldest girls are over 18 and still live at home.  I have NO idea if they have significant others but it is VERY possible that they do.  Do I need to call them and ask if they have a boyfriend before I send out invites?  Do you think it's necessary to invite the SOs if they have them since it will be a family trip they're making to the wedding?  Not sure if I'm making sense here, but I just want to follow proper etiquette before I hurt anyone's feelings.

P.S. Would my great aunt's children be my second cousins?  They are my grandmother's sister's children.  

midgetthemighty

It is always necessary to invite SO's. I would just call your Godmother and ask.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oot-extended-family-and-their-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:11770d60-3e7f-4d59-a669-09655171063cPost:f039cf64-f503-4d81-9a22-7f1a8df3feff">OOT Extended Family and their SO's</a>:
[QUOTE]P.S. Would my great aunt's children be my second cousins?  They are my grandmother's sister's children.  
Posted by SweetTea87[/QUOTE]

They're your first cousins once removed.

EDIT: To clarify...

Your great aunt's children are first cousins with your parents.  You are a generation after your parents, so they are your first cousins once removed (once removed, meaning a generation apart).

Your great aunt's children's children are your second cousins.  They are the same generation as you.

First cousins share grandparents.
Second cousins share great grandparents.

SweetTea87

Ah, thanks Joy!  I've always wondered about that and I end up confusing the crap out of myself.

SweetTea87

WTF is up with TK?  This is seriously annoying.  Ugh. 

SweetTea87

3 posts eaten that will probably show up later and make me look looney.

beverly2012

Technically her great aunts children are her second cousins and their children are her 3rd cousins at least in the Northeast thats how we use the terms.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oot-extended-family-and-their-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:11770d60-3e7f-4d59-a669-09655171063cPost:607f010c-3acb-4bd0-9755-c140adb9e712">Re: OOT Extended Family and their SO's</a>:
[QUOTE]Ah, thanks Joy!  I've always wondered about that and I end up confusing the crap out of myself.
Posted by SweetTea87[/QUOTE]

One Christmas my family and I sat down with the definitions and figured it out.  It was a crazy, confusing conversation and I swear I'm the only one who understood it.  But, I'll never forget now! 

Our family is set up similarly with my grandmother and her brother being the eldest, followed by their sets of children and then my generation so I can quickly go back in my head, fit your situation to mine, and know exactly what's going on. 

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oot-extended-family-and-their-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:11770d60-3e7f-4d59-a669-09655171063cPost:02bcf931-1a23-4c90-ab6d-f1771f9a4c6f">Re: OOT Extended Family and their SO's</a>:
[QUOTE]Technically her great aunts children are her second cousins and their children are her 3rd cousins
Posted by beverly2012[/QUOTE]

No.

SweetTea87

Haha, this is why I'm always confused on what to call them. 

Squishy'sGal

If they aren't in a long-term serious, committed relationship you would be under no obligation to invite them with a guest, regardless of their age, even if they do have a boyfriend. If they have been with their partner for a significant amount of time, are engaged or living together then you do invite their partner.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oot-extended-family-and-their-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:11770d60-3e7f-4d59-a669-09655171063cPost:5338f58c-15cf-4718-819b-01e9554dfc2b">Re: OOT Extended Family and their SO's</a>:
[QUOTE]If they aren't in a long-term serious, committed relationship you would be under no obligation to invite them with a guest, regardless of their age, even if they do have a boyfriend.  If they have been with their partner for a significant amount of time, are engaged or living together then you do invite their partner.
Posted by Squishy'sGal[/QUOTE]

<div>Uh, no. </div>

mkgrover

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oot-extended-family-and-their-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:11770d60-3e7f-4d59-a669-09655171063cPost:5338f58c-15cf-4718-819b-01e9554dfc2b">Re: OOT Extended Family and their SO's</a>:
[QUOTE]If they aren't in a long-term serious, committed relationship you would be under no obligation to invite them with a guest, regardless of their age, even if they do have a boyfriend.  If they have been with their partner for a significant amount of time, are engaged or living together then you do invite their partner.
Posted by Squishy'sGal[/QUOTE]

<div>This is wrong.  If they consider themselves to be in a relationship, then you need to invite the SOs.  Only the people involved in the relationship get to make a call on how serious it is, not anyone outside said relationship.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, easiest thing to do is get in touch with your godmother.  I'm assuming she'll know their status.</div>

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oot-extended-family-and-their-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:11770d60-3e7f-4d59-a669-09655171063cPost:5338f58c-15cf-4718-819b-01e9554dfc2b">Re: OOT Extended Family and their SO's</a>:
[QUOTE]If they aren't in a long-term serious, committed relationship you would be under no obligation to invite them with a guest, regardless of their age, even if they do have a boyfriend.  If they have been with their partner for a significant amount of time, are engaged or living together then you do invite their partner.
Posted by Squishy'sGal[/QUOTE]

You are wrong.

SweetTea87

Just sent my godmother an email asking her to call me so I can ask for SO names.  I feel so awkward because I don't even remember half of the names of my family members.  Sigh.  The qualms of having a super large family. 

Megbo2012

SweetTea, I recently had my shower and my father's family was invited (we've been out of touch because of divorce but I'm trying to keep in touch with family) and I got several gifts from people I didn't "know."  Weddings are a great opportunity to reconnect with family! 

Megbo2012

And I should mention my father had 12 brothers and sisters...lol 

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oot-extended-family-and-their-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:11770d60-3e7f-4d59-a669-09655171063cPost:0d3c0800-7393-417b-9528-2d956d97fc07">Re: OOT Extended Family and their SO's</a>:
[QUOTE]And I should mention my father had 12 brothers and sisters...lol 
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

Dang, my Mom's family has only 10 children, we're extremely close knit and <em>I</em> still have problems with names of the little ones running around and who they belong to. I can't imagine how hard it is for you!

Squishy, listen to them. Wherever you copied and pasted that from is completely off-base.

Habs2Hart

Squishy - Why are you on the etiquette board if you don't want to give proper etiquette advice?  This is not your first thread where you've given very poor advice that totally goes against everyone else in the thread who are giving proper advice. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oot-extended-family-and-their-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:11770d60-3e7f-4d59-a669-09655171063cPost:0e636248-09cc-479e-b6f5-8f050a1b8d8d">Re: OOT Extended Family and their SO's</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: OOT Extended Family and their SO's : Dang, my Mom's family has only 10 children, we're extremely close knit and I still have problems with names of the little ones running around and who they belong to. I can't imagine how hard it is for you! Squishy, listen to them. Wherever you copied and pasted that from is completely off-base.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

My dad has 36 or 37 cousins on his father's side (depending on how you categorize 1). And 4 on his mother's side. When he and my mom were dating he told her, "Sometimes I can't remember the names of all my family members."