When to send the invites out

HeatherE925

I'm getting married October 20 and I just mailed out all the invites this morning. I have the RSVP date for August 20. I was told I should have waited it's to soon?? Please help

LeiselEB

This is much too soon. Invites are commonly sent out 6-8 weeks prior to the wedding. We sent ours out at 10 weeks, and I think that was the earliest that would work. 

An August 20 response date is also much too soon. You'll likely have many late responses. 

It's too late now, though, so what can ya do?

HeatherE925

Ugh yeah I wasn't thinking when I did all the invites and putting the response by August 20. That's true it's too late now to worry about it. I just wanted to see what others thought. Thanks

Maggie0829

Holy crap!  You sent out your invites way too early.  An August 20th RSVP date for a October 20th wedding?  That is 2 months prior and that is typically when invites are sent out!  Typically the RSVP is about 2-3 weeks prior to your wedding depending on when your caterer/venue needs a final headcount.

Well there really isn't much you can do about it now since you have already sent them.  Just be prepared to not receive many/any RSVPS until your RSVP deadline and even after.

HeatherE925

I clearly wasn't thinking that's why the RSVP date is 2 months before the wedding. And also I don't want to be feeling rushed a month before the wedding

brilibby4

Yeah, definitely way too early. 

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_when-to-send-the-invites-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1181494f-b710-493f-80ff-ab3e15ea90a0Post:b217c13c-7d32-46f0-b20d-097806adfda0">Re: When to send the invites out</a>:
[QUOTE]This is much too soon. Invites are commonly sent out 6-8 weeks prior to the wedding. We sent ours out at 10 weeks, and I think that was the earliest that would work.  An August 20 response date is also much too soon. You'll likely have many late responses.  It's too late now, though, so what can ya do?
Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>

LDubHawksFan

Wedding date twins!  I am Oct 20th also, and I plan to do the earlier side with 10 wks out....that's like Aug 7th-ish.  It's too late to do anything about yours now, but I would probably wait extra long after your RSVP date to call people since they may not really know what their plans are yet.


Leisel, you look beautiful!  I've been watching your siggies change.  Love your dress!!

BrittneyRN

That is WAY too early. I'm not sending my invites out until August 9th for my October 13th wedding. Our RSVP date is September 22. I won't feel rushed. Your guests will feel rushed trying to plan for something 2 months in advance. Coming from someone who doesn't have a normal M-F schedule, there is no way I could plan for something that far in advance. I don't even have my schedule that far in advance. Just be prepared for a lot of late responses, and people changing their minds. With an RSVP date that early, you may have a lot of people RSVPing one way and then changing their minds because plans change in 2 months.

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_when-to-send-the-invites-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1181494f-b710-493f-80ff-ab3e15ea90a0Post:c6c2ddfe-8d26-48b1-b6d2-61abd242a958">Re: When to send the invites out</a>:
[QUOTE]Wedding date twins!  I am Oct 20th also, and I plan to do the earlier side with 10 wks out....that's like Aug 7th-ish.  It's too late to do anything about yours now, but I would probably wait extra long after your RSVP date to call people since they may not really know what their plans are yet. Leisel, you look beautiful!  I've been watching your siggies change.  Love your dress!!
Posted by lwoehlk[/QUOTE]

<div>Why are you sending yours out at 10 weeks? Are you just anxious?</div><div>
</div><div>We sent ours at at 10 weeks and set our RSVP deadline a little earlier than you would typically do, but we also got married at Christmas and the weekend of our wedding was a huge holiday-party weekend, so we wanted people to know in advance.</div><div>
</div><div>I've gotten wedding invites super early, and those are the ones that I forget to RSVP for until the last minute.</div>

HeatherE925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_when-to-send-the-invites-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1181494f-b710-493f-80ff-ab3e15ea90a0Post:5100d32e-e5ab-49ee-807a-422285660ac4">Re: When to send the invites out</a>:
[QUOTE]That is WAY too early. I'm not sending my invites out until August 9th for my October 13th wedding. Our RSVP date is September 22. I won't feel rushed. Your guests will feel rushed trying to plan for something 2 months in advance. Coming from someone who doesn't have a normal M-F schedule, there is no way I could plan for something that far in advance. I don't even have my schedule that far in advance. Just be prepared for a lot of late responses, and people changing their minds. With an RSVP date that early, you may have a lot of people RSVPing one way and then changing their minds because plans change in 2 months.
Posted by BrittneyRN[/QUOTE]

I don't have a M-F schedule either and most of my bridal party doesn't either and lots of our guest that are invited. So that's why I sent them out so soon.

HeatherE925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_when-to-send-the-invites-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1181494f-b710-493f-80ff-ab3e15ea90a0Post:c6c2ddfe-8d26-48b1-b6d2-61abd242a958">Re: When to send the invites out</a>:
[QUOTE]Wedding date twins!  I am Oct 20th also, and I plan to do the earlier side with 10 wks out....that's like Aug 7th-ish.  It's too late to do anything about yours now, but I would probably wait extra long after your RSVP date to call people since they may not really know what their plans are yet. Leisel, you look beautiful!  I've been watching your siggies change.  Love your dress!!
Posted by lwoehlk[/QUOTE]

I know it's right around the corner. Yes I did do it a bit early but it's too late now to change anything.

BrittneyRN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_when-to-send-the-invites-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1181494f-b710-493f-80ff-ab3e15ea90a0Post:a18375bc-75bd-43c5-9e53-9c1ef4ebd513">Re: When to send the invites out</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When to send the invites out : I don't have a M-F schedule either and most of my bridal party doesn't either and lots of our guest that are invited. So that's why I sent them out so soon.
Posted by HeatherE925[/QUOTE]



What I'm saying is that I don't even have my schedule that soon. Neither do a lot of people I know. I don't get my schedule until about 4-5 weeks in advance, so there's no way I could RSVP to your wedding in time, so I'd have to say no, which is what I think a lot of people will do. Or RSVP yes at the last minute. Or have to change. I think it'll be more stressful for you in the end.

LDubHawksFan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_when-to-send-the-invites-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1181494f-b710-493f-80ff-ab3e15ea90a0Post:32925033-bedd-4595-a134-3478895d164d">Re: When to send the invites out</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: When to send the invites out : Why are you sending yours out at 10 weeks? Are you just anxious? We sent ours at at 10 weeks and set our RSVP deadline a little earlier than you would typically do, but we also got married at Christmas and the weekend of our wedding was a huge holiday-party weekend, so we wanted people to know in advance. I've gotten wedding invites super early, and those are the ones that I forget to RSVP for until the last minute.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

I have to have my numbers in by like 21 days out, so my rsvp is going to be Sept 21st.  All of my side is coming half way across the country, so I am going to send them a little bit earlier and I will be in Yosemite that week around 8/9 weeks, so I figured I would send them out before that trip.

QueerFemme

Honestly, I would probably send an email out or something telling them that your RSVP date was incorrect and they have until September 20th to RSVP. 

Most caterers only want a final count 2-3 weeks prior to the wedding.

HeatherE925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_when-to-send-the-invites-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1181494f-b710-493f-80ff-ab3e15ea90a0Post:efc140aa-51b7-4446-a30b-11481cf710ba">Re: When to send the invites out</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly, I would probably send an email out or something telling them that your RSVP date was incorrect and they have until September 20th to RSVP.  Most caterers only want a final count 2-3 weeks prior to the wedding.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

That's a good idea!! I think I'm gonna do that. Thanks so much!!

achiduck

My wedding is October 20th as well and I plan to mail mine out between July 20 and August 1st with an RSVP deadline of September 22.

Edit: I should add that in my area STDs aren't common so I didn't send them. As such sending invites at 12 weeks out is pretty normal.

HeatherE925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_when-to-send-the-invites-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1181494f-b710-493f-80ff-ab3e15ea90a0Post:5e621d14-4ef0-44ec-ae35-b93a7b833c6f">Re: When to send the invites out</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding is October 20th as well and I plan to mail mine out between July 20 and August 1st with an RSVP deadline of September 22. Edit: I should add that in my area STDs aren't common so I didn't send them. As such sending invites at 12 weeks out is pretty normal.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

I'm glad to hear that!! Thanks soooo much

mlperkins12

Heather, I sympathize with you.  What seems a little strange to me is that TK's timeline says to send them at the three month mark.  I never even second guessed that until I started participating in some of these discussion boards.  Then I've heard that 8 weeks is the standard.  I've since checked Emily Post and about every other resouce I can find to get a concensus on when the invites should go out and it is overwhelmingly 8 weeks. 

With your situation, they are already out I would just let it go.  I'm sure that nobody will even give it a second thought.  Sure you might have a group that misses the RSVP date, but just allocate some time to make calls in September and you will be fine.  I wouldn't even worry abou the email, the less attention you draw to it, the better IMHO.

HeatherE925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_when-to-send-the-invites-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1181494f-b710-493f-80ff-ab3e15ea90a0Post:df16a1b8-cab4-4518-8ce7-93736da02a9e">Re: When to send the invites out</a>:
[QUOTE]Heather, I sympathize with you.  What seems a little strange to me is that TK's timeline says to send them at the three month mark.  I never even second guessed that until I started participating in some of these discussion boards.  Then I've heard that 8 weeks is the standard.  I've since checked Emily Post and about every other resouce I can find to get a concensus on when the invites should go out and it is overwhelmingly 8 weeks.  With your situation, they are already out I would just let it go.  I'm sure that nobody will even give it a second thought.  Sure you might have a group that misses the RSVP date, but just allocate some time to make calls in September and you will be fine.  I wouldn't even worry abou the email, the less attention you draw to it, the better IMHO.
Posted by mlperkins12[/QUOTE]
Yes I did see the same on TK website. That's why I didn't give it a second thought until after I sent them out. Your right the email is just to much. I will just make calls in September. I have already got messages from friends saying the invite are beautiful! And a few of my friends are by the book and they would have said something. So I think I'm good!!