XP: Rehearsal and RD Questions

volleygurl0306

Let me preface everything by saying we are on a TIGHT budget and due to the structure of my FI group of friends, we have a large wedding party (6 on each side).  It was an all of his friends or none of his friends kind of deal. 
We are still in the process of looking for an officiant who won't break the bank, recognizing a rehearsal could cost extra.  We want a really custom ceremony so I'd honestly just love someone who would read a script we wrote and make it official.  So, because we are creating the whole ceremony, do we even need a rehearsal?  We are not guaranteed the ballroom the night before where we are getting married but can show the WP where to go in the morning once it is set up. 

In regards to the RD, we are looking at 30ish people (thats just immediate family, WP and their significant others)!  If having a rehearsal and therefore a RD we just are going to do a casual restuarant (thinking Uno Chicago and ordering pizza for all).  In that situation it would probably be feasible to pay for a round or two of beers for everyone but NOT all you can drink.  Is it okay to say/do that or should it be an all or none kind of thing (in this case it would be a none b/c these people can throw them back)?

Ugh right now the R and RD are more stressful than the whole reception!

crash2729

You can have a backyard BBQ for your rehearsal dinner if you want. It doesn't have to be fancy. 

Also, if anything more is involved from the WP than having to walk down the aisle, I don't think that it would be a big deal to skip. But on the other hand you might want to do one so you already know how it's going to flow. But it's just a personal preference.

dumdumfroggie

Exactly what Crash said.

Loopyseven

If you are customizing your ceremony as much as it sounds like you are, I would definitely have a rehearsal.  Even if you can't get into the space, do a run through in your living room or something before you go for pizza.  

The RD can be as fancy or laid back as you want, as long as you host it fully.  

bvanosten

I did exactly what you are talking about- created my own ceremony, had a cousin officiate.  We didn't do a rehearsal- honestly, we all know how to walk slow.  We just did a quick rehearsal the day of so we could figure out where people should stand at the front so both sides would look even. 

For the RD, I we went with a local restaurant (Hubby's and my favorite).  It was BYOB so we didn't have to worry about the bar bill being too high.  Try looking at local restaurants and seeing if you can rent the place out.  Then just bring beer and wine. 

tpender13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-rehearsal-rd-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:11a5e9a8-bde8-4b37-bfc9-eccc735742e3Post:fd9e0274-151d-450e-94c5-e2a5314ed105">Re: XP: Rehearsal and RD Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]I did exactly what you are talking about- created my own ceremony, had a cousin officiate.  We didn't do a rehearsal- honestly, we all know how to walk slow.  We just did a quick rehearsal the day of so we could figure out where people should stand at the front so both sides would look even.  For the RD, I we went with a local restaurant (Hubby's and my favorite).  It was BYOB so we didn't have to worry about the bar bill being too high.  Try looking at local restaurants and seeing if you can rent the place out.  <strong>Then just bring beer and wine.</strong> 
Posted by bvanosten[/QUOTE]

There aren't many restaurants that will let you do this. Bringing in your own cake or something is usually not an issue, but with alcohol it opens up liability issues for the establishment.

RaptorSLH

I think it's fine to only buy a round or two, as long as you make soft drinks freely available.  You have to provide enough for your guests to drink, but that doesn't have to mean all alcoholic drinks.

I've seen this done with a limited menu.  The hosts and the restaurant agree to entrees, drinks, whatever the hosts are willing to pay for, and print out menus with just those items.  If guests ask for something more (like alcohol that wasn't agreed on,) the server can say it is available at additional cost.  At a pizza place, I don't know that printed menus are a requirement.  Just phrase it in a way that's unambiguous - instead of letting all your guests order their own drinks, buy a couple of pitchers for the table.

If your custom service is simple, you may not need a rehersal at all.  This is ultimately a trade off between budget and confidence.

mollyehren

If it's only 30 people I would see about booking a covered picnic area (like $25 where I live at Sate Parks). Then you can bring in your own catering and beer. It can be as simple as BBQ or pizza. Something simple like this could be done for well under $200.

volleygurl0306

We looked into parks and there is no alcohol permitted in any park in the entire county of where we are getting married...lame!  Unfortunately someone's house won't help either because the only house we can use is my FIL who live 70 miles away (we are having a semi-DW since I, FI, and my entire side are in FL and his side is from the country in VA...getting married in the DC suburbs near the airport to make it easier for those flying in).  Blah.  I think we'll lock down our officiant and get a professional opinion if we need a R at all....if not, RD solved!