The on going pill vs. condom debate (tmi warning)

Emeraldeyed315

So I keep seeing posts about birth control and such... to be honest I'd post this on thenest, but for some reason work blocks thenest but not theknot. Sorry if this is tmi for anyone.

If you had to pick between an oral contraceptive and a condom, wwyd? I'm currently in this situation and am totally stumped. I do not want a shot, iud or patch.
I have been on Yaz (which I have read the articles and lawsuites) for almost 7 years. In recent research I'm realizing some of my depression and lack of sex drive may be from taking a pill/hormones. I'm thinking I would like to get off the pill...but my DH and I do not use condoms, so we'd need to begin and I can't decide if this would be a huge issue.

Thanks for any thoughts on the matter!

kikibaby

Pill, absolutely.  Not a fan of condoms. 

The pill is more effective, and you don't have to have it "on hand" when you're ready to do it.

britne28

Have you talked to your doc about the low sex drive?  There are a lot of levels of the pill with different levels of hormones.  Other than that you may need to "experiment" with condoms and see if it works for you. 

Nebb

Ive never had a problem with sex drive or depression and ive been on BC since I was 16, Im on loestrin and I love it. You might just need to talk to your doctor and try other kinds.

Emeraldeyed315

I will def. talk to my doctor as well. I began taking an antidepressent last year (lexapro) and that also has a side effect of low sex drive.

OOC, those of you on the pill, what kind did you have the most success with? I know every body is different but am still curious. TIA!

playtntsbpg30

Between those 2, I'd have to say the pill, there are low hormonal pills you may be able to switch and try out.

I'd suggest the nuva ring it has very low hormones, and on the instruction papers its still considered oral, so it's not an IUD. Something to check into.

KitteeBride2Be

It just depends. I would love to be able to take oral contrceptive, but I have tried a million different kinds and I havent found one I could tolerate. Yaz was the only pill I kind of liked. You couldn't pay me to take it now.

For us, It's much easier to use condoms and not mess with my hormones.

danieliza1127

Why are you against an IUD?

I was on the pill for years and years and had a lot of problems with bad PMS (mood swings and migraines) and low sex drive.  I got off the pill early 2008 and got the Mirena IUD and have been so good since then.  No PMS at all, no period actually, and my sex drive came back pretty quickly.  I've never had a kid, so if you've heard the myth that you can't get an IUD if you haven' t had a child, it's not true.

But to answer your actual question, I would use a pill over a condom.  Condoms are too spur of the moment.  With a pill, you just take it every day.  With a condom, you have to stop what you're doing and put it on and it's REALLY easy to convince yourself or be convinced that just this one time you don't need it.  And that's when accidents happen.  Plus, a pill doesn't affect how sex feels to you but a condom might really affect how it feels to your FI, and I don't think that's really fair.

Anon I. Mouse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_going-pill-vs-condom-debate-tmi-warning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:12a3e07d-71ef-4f6b-9f36-4d7d025fcb36Post:63c02db3-9511-49df-a41f-8af1ca27c047">The on going pill vs. condom debate (tmi warning)</a>:
[QUOTE]. In recent research I'm realizing some of my depression and lack of sex drive may be from taking a pill/hormones. I'm thinking I would like to get off the pill...but my DH and I do not use condoms, so we'd need to begin and I can't decide if this would be a huge issue. Thanks for any thoughts on the matter!
Posted by Emeraldeyed315[/QUOTE]

I experienced this too though it was not a noticeable shift...just kind of crept up on me and was more like just feeling "fuzzy" about my emotions rather than depressed. I did have a decreased sex drive though as time went on which bothered me.  I noticed those effects more so when I actually went OFF the pill and had the benefits of hindsight (I went off it for other health reasons).

That being said, I don't like using condoms with a long term partner either. It DOES feel different to me and far less intimate. There are some that "aren't so bad" and some brands are better than others (I think Trojans SUCK). I have noticed however many brands now have some new REALLY super-super-thin condoms in the drugstores now that may be a little better and worth a try!

I don't really have an answer as to what I would pick as I did get a copper (non-hormonal) IUD. I would probably choose the less-fun of condoms and the increased libido and emotional health over the conveniences that come along with the pills, just from my own experience.

What if you tried experimenting with different condoms/styles before you go off pill and see. Might be fun to go condom shopping together!

ac_in_dc

The pill gives me the same issues you're talking about with depression and whatnot.

So DH and I decided to use condoms. I have a really regular cycle so we didn't use them when I wasn't fertile and we only used them when I was. When I did get pregnant a few months ago, it was on purpose. Condoms aren't ideal but it was OK b/c he didn't have to use them all the time. I only recommend this is you're comfortable with the risks involved. We talked it over and we were.

I've also used diaphragms in the past, they're harder to find now, but I think I'm going to try that after I have the kid & recover and all that b/c I *really* don't like what BC does to my mood. Again, diaphragms have a success rate of like 94% or so (?) compared to 97-98% with condoms and close to 100% with the pill. So you have to be comfortable with those odds.

SarahPLiz

I was on BC for over 10 years and recently got taken off of it because of cholesterol issues (related to hormones). I never realized in all that time how much it affected my mental state and sex drive too. Of course. now PMS is a bitch and I cramp up and get nauseus like Im 12 again.

We use condoms because my dr was hesitant to insert an IUD for just a year. We plan on TTC pretty soon after the wedding, but I am very nervous about getting Pg before the wedding. it would not be good for my job situation at the moment, but they probably wouldn't fire me (which they could, its a religious institution).

FI prefers Kimono extra thin. We have tried lots of brands and those are his faves. Apparently they came out with a thinner polyeurathane one, but it hasn't been tested as much, so we won't be using it until it is tested to my satisfaction.

crfische

PS, there's a huge class action suit against Yaz. Get off of it, ASAP.

Mrs_AF

FI and I use both, but I'm pretty sure that's not the norm. I'm just overly terrified of getting pregnant before I'm ready to have a child.

If I had to choose, I would say pill,  but I would still be terrified. My mom was on the pill when I was conceived. So...I'm basically absolutely no help to this post whatsoever.

My bad.

JK10910

I'm on the condom train.

I've been on 7 different types of BCPs (and the Nuva Ring) and they all destroyed my sanity.  Some people just don't do with with hormones.

I firmly believe condoms are just like the pill--you just have to find the right one.  I don't find that they're that much hassle really, not any more than remembering to take a pill every day.  And I feel better, I'm less crazy, and I have a higher sex drive--which is worth the tradeoff of condom use to FI. 

Emeraldeyed315

Fi and I have only just started having sex 2 weeks ago! We waited till marriage (I know, some think thats crazy). So our decision making on this stuff is new as well.

I was on Yaz for terrible cramps, and it does help that.

I will check out that Kimono brand...is it at regular drug stores? Any other types to check out? I';ve only otherwise heard of Trojans.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Pill, definitely. We both think it's more convenient.

Why not try something like an IUD? You can get a copper one (paraguard) that is hormone-free.

The shot, patch and implant have a lot of hormones. If you go the HBC route, low-hormone is probably the way to go if oyu think you're sensitive to BC.

JK10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_going-pill-vs-condom-debate-tmi-warning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:12a3e07d-71ef-4f6b-9f36-4d7d025fcb36Post:48f6c272-1e06-4c7a-a2de-14c714028ce5">Re: The on going pill vs. condom debate (tmi warning)</a>:
[QUOTE]Plus, a pill doesn't affect how sex feels to you but a condom might really affect how it feels to your FI, and I don't think that's really fair.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

FWIW I have to totally disagree with Dani here.  The pill DID affect sex for me.  I won't get into all the "hows" because that's TMI, but it really did.  How it felt, how much I enjoyed it, and how often I wanted it.  FI is totally willing to trade off a little sensation loss for doing it more often.

ScarletGem

Given that choice, pill, hands down.  Condoms suck. 

That said, I'm also curious about why you're against an IUD.  I have the non-hormonal copper IUD and love it.  And I've never given birth or been pregnant, and insertion really wasn't that bad. 

And to answer your second question, the orthotricyclen-lo was the pill I was on for a long time, and I had absolutely no issues with it.

Emeraldeyed315

I'm uncomfortable with the idea of an IUD because I am not sure when we will decide to get preggo (could be as early as next year)...and I realize this is babyish of me, but I get squeemish thinking about how they implant the IUD...I know, I know, its dumb:)

ac_in_dc

Last Xmas I ordered a whole variety of condoms for DH.

What kind of condom works really depends on his size, how sensitive he is, and how rough he likes to go (sorry for TMI). I got him like 8 different kinds on-line and then we bought in bulk the ones we liked best.

I went to babeland, but it looks like their selection has narrowed. Maybe try Adam & Eve? Or a local sex shop will have a broader collection than the grocery store.

[edit--we really liked the rough riders for some reason. And anything that's super-thin is great, but some of the Asian varieties run small and can be uncomfortable]

ac_in_dc

I'm squeamish about IUD's too. I know the technology has improved, but my mom had an ectopic pregnancy with one in and I can't get that out of my head.

Anon I. Mouse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_going-pill-vs-condom-debate-tmi-warning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:12a3e07d-71ef-4f6b-9f36-4d7d025fcb36Post:8765b6e9-52ef-432a-b933-bf702447c408">Re: The on going pill vs. condom debate (tmi warning)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The on going pill vs. condom debate (tmi warning) : FWIW I have to totally disagree with Dani here.  The pill DID affect sex for me.  I won't get into all the "hows" because that's TMI, but it really did.  How it felt, how much I enjoyed it, and how often I wanted it.  FI is totally willing to trade off a little sensation loss for doing it more often.
Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

I agree, it affected how I felt as well.

I would also go further and say the condoms definitely affect how I feel during sex too. I don't disagree it affects FI MORE than me, but it definitely affects how I feel during sex.

dmlk413

I think you should talk to your doctor about trying a new type of birth control pill.  I experienced severe depression while I was on Ortho-Tri Cyclen, but my doctor switched me to Lo-Ovrol (sp??), which has a different hormone makeup and it made a huge difference.

However, using condoms is not a bad option if you want to be completely off BC.  FI and I use both but only because we are super paranoid about getting pregnant.

Calypso1977

have you considered charting?  i was on the pill for 10+ years and opted to go off of it for a variety of reasons, and I have been charting for 7 months now.  its very simple to do, and then youd only have to use condoms during your fertile period (although if one broke, you'd have a good chance of getting pregnant).

since you were able to abstain until marriage, clearly self control isnt an issue for you so this method may work very well for you.

Emeraldeyed315

I may look into charting. At least to put my mind at ease as well. Any tips on that would be helpful:) Thank you all so much.

BioGirl21

I was on Ortho-tri-cyclin-lo for a year and it affected me horribly. My mood swings seemed magnifed 10 times and I just felt horrible in general. I wasn't have sex while on it, so I can't comment on how it affected sex drive and whatnot. My main reason for going on BC was to get rid of cramps, and it did to that.
I spoke to my doctor the next year and she switched me to a mono-cyclic pill called Cryselle. My mood improved vastly, mod swings weren't as pronounced and the cramps still don't happen. BUT, my sex drive is super low.
FI and I both hate condoms, so when I go to the doctor next, I'll ask about a new pill or more options. You just need to find what works best for you.

tobeDrReed

I'll put out a second vote for the NuvaRing.  I had previously experienced emotional changes on pills, but the ring really works for me.  No mood swings, good sex drive, no complaints. 

If I had to choose BC or condoms, I'd pick BC.  Condoms kill the mood for me and don't really allow for spontaniety.  It could take time for you & your Dr. to figure out which is the right for you, but I'd never go back to condoms.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_going-pill-vs-condom-debate-tmi-warning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:12a3e07d-71ef-4f6b-9f36-4d7d025fcb36Post:616c244a-4e05-411c-9d61-2088c48b0572">Re: The on going pill vs. condom debate (tmi warning)</a>:
[QUOTE]I will check out that Kimono brand...is it at regular drug stores? Any other types to check out? I';ve only otherwise heard of Trojans.
Posted by Emeraldeyed315[/QUOTE]

We get them off of Amazon. FI uses his FSA card because they are a deductible medical expense, and are FSA eligible.

FWIW, when I was on BC, I was on Alesse, Ortho Tir Cyclen, Ortho Lo, the patch, and Nuva Ring. All had the same effect on me, except the patch had the added loveliness of leaving a red patch on my ass for a few weeks after I took it off. I love the ease of the ring, but now that I have been off for 4 months, I wouldn't go back. Condoms are an inconvenience, but its worth it to us to not get pg right now. FI would rather use a condom than have me running around with a cholesterol level over 300.. which is insane for an active 30 year old. After 3 months of no BC, my levels are now normal, with no change in activity level or diet.

goheels05

Neither.  I'm fed up with both so I'm doing Fertility Awareness Method.  I love it.  Read Taking Charge of Your Fertility.

I was on Yaz for 2 years.  Got off it 5 months ago.  I didn't know about the lawsuit until yesterday.  My cholesterol was over 200 at my last checkup.  Guess now I know why.  Otherwise, I had no negative side effects, but I won't be taking it again after reading what I read yesterday.

angie74

we use condoms... I was on BC for years, but blood pressure problems run in my family, and it was just a bad idea for me to stay on it. I don't mind them- it's not ideal, but it's really not that hard to remember and use it in the moment.

Just Jen

We also use condoms.

I first went on the pill years ago after I had gone 8 or 9 months with no period at all. I was on it for years with no issues.

Then I went off it for a while when I didn't need to be using BC. When I went back on, I started getting my period 2 weeks a month (either conseculatively or every other week, depending on which pill it was). That totally sucked.

My doctor tried me on all different formulations, and finally recommended just stopping the pill and using condoms. I did, and my period went back to normal.