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Wedding Etiquette Forum

eek...cringe...pushy "friend"

My fiance has a friend who has started to do photography in the last year and decided he wants to build a business doing it. To add to his portfolio, he asked if he could do engagement photos for us. Since we hadn't planned to spend the money on engagement pictures, it sounded like a great win-win : we get some fun engagement pictures for free and our friend gets to add to his portfolio to help start his business.
I decided that I wanted to do a picture book as our guestbook and told our friend that I would love to use his pictures in the book since we had so much fun shooting with him. The friend thought it was a neat idea and was excited about it. HERE'S THE DILEMMA...the friend texted my fiance yesterday to let us know he was going to bring us a CD of all our photos so I could make the guest book (and in the very same line) asked if he could put out his business cards at our wedding.
I'm all about helping out a friend, and if anybody were to ask about our pictures I wouldn't hesitate to rave about our photog friend and very quickly refer them to him, but I feel like our wedding shouldn't be used as an opportunity for him to advertise. This is a ceremony and celebration of our lives together as husband and wife...not a trade show. Please, let me also add that I have a friend who is VERY close to me and he IS a photographer. In fact, he's offered to do my bridal portraits as a wedding gift - but he's not asking to put out business cards.
Am I just being a bridezilla about this whole thing and overreacting? HELP!!!!

Re: eek...cringe...pushy "friend"

  • I agree.  I feel that it's inappropriate to advertise at a wedding.  Just let your friend know that if anyone asks about the photos you will be sure to talk him up.
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  • SKPMSKPM member
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    You're not over reacting. You're right; nobody's business cards should be displayed at your wedding. The one idea I have, though, is maybe giving your friend written credit for the photos in the book. Maybe have his name or business name printed on the inside cover, or on the back or something, and phrase it like "Photo credit: John Smith Photogtaphy." But without contact information or business cards.

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  • No.  A wedding is absolutely no place for a stack of business cards.  Feel free to include a page in the photo book that credits the photographer and promise to show them off and rave about him in any wedding reviews you might do online.  If you have a wedding website, you could include a bunch of the photos throughout the site and link back to his website in any photography credit statements.  But, no.  There should not be business cards out at the wedding from any vendors.
  • Ew is all I can say to the business cards. At my brothers wedding the DJ put cards on the guest tables and I was appalled. If guests want to know who one of your vendors was they'll ask.
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  • Tell him you don't want to put business cards out, but will gladly let people know that he did your photos if anyone asks. 
  • I saw this at a wedding I went to last year and thought it was really tacky.
  • I would actually think less of a vendor for using a wedding as a business-networking opportunity (it's tacky and I'd be worried they'd do it at mine).  I was impressed with my friend's photographer for her wedding in May so I asked her for their info to look into using them for my wedding next year.  If people want to know, they will ask.
  • I think you're overreacting only because you're posting about what a big deal this is and you haven't even just said to him "Oh I'm sorry, we're just not comfortable advertising at our wedding, but we'll sure to tell anyone who asks that you did our photos!"  How is he being pushy by just asking?  I don't get it.
  • make him a 'counter offer'... put a page in the book with his credit...and if he's coming to the wedding (I'm assuming he is), he can keep some business cards on HIM at the wedding to hand out IF PEOPLE ASK... other than that, no, he does not get a little business card stand.
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