No Rehearsal Dinner

hodgson.holt

We are having a destination wedding (kindof) on Mackinac Island in Michigan in October. We are living down in Georgia now, and most guests are coming from about 7-8 hours drive away - 70ish people total. Since everyone has to travel so far to get to the wedding, instead of having the rehearsal dinner for just close fam and wedding party, we are having a bonfire with smores, hot chocolate and cider for ALL of the guests invited to the wedding since they'll all be there the night before.

I'm worried bridal party will be miffed not having a rehearsal dinner because of "traditon". Is it required to have one?

alixzafiris

Why would the BP be possed about that? Quite frankly, a bonfire sounds waaay more fun than a traditional RD does.

If they don't like it, they're probably fun-suckers anyways.

Brie2010

Are you having a rehearsal? 

I think that if you have a rehearsal around the dinnertime hour, you need to host dinner for the people who are required to attend.  Just smores and cider wouldn't be enough.  If you're not having a rehearsal at all, no dinner is required and an all-guests bonfire is fine, IMO.

ohwhynot

That sounds really fun - Mackinac Island is terrific and your friends & family will love it.  The bridal party will probably be pleased - they get to party with everyone else. 

quotequeen

What Brie said.

hodgson.holt

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:12b139db-9028-424a-bb51-267d8fef8b2ePost:237333fe-a1af-44ab-9e72-465a396c3376">Re: No Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you having a rehearsal?  I think that if you have a rehearsal around the dinnertime hour, you need to host dinner for the people who are required to attend.  Just smores and cider wouldn't be enough.  If you're not having a rehearsal at all, no dinner is required and an all-guests bonfire is fine, IMO.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

We're having the actual rehearsal the morning of the wedding, and our bonfire won't be until after the dinner hour, 7:30 or so.

Brie2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:12b139db-9028-424a-bb51-267d8fef8b2ePost:15f73125-89ec-42cf-88e0-de833b4b3de4">Re: No Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Rehearsal Dinner : We're having the actual rehearsal the morning of the wedding, and our bonfire won't be until after the dinner hour, 7:30 or so.
Posted by hodgson.holt[/QUOTE]

Then I think a bonfire is awesome.  You should also include Mackinac Island fudge.  And saltwater taffy.  Yum.

hodgson.holt

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:12b139db-9028-424a-bb51-267d8fef8b2ePost:20c27799-ee27-4a19-bc2d-1d4b82f45b73">Re: No Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Rehearsal Dinner : Then I think a bonfire is awesome.  You should also include Mackinac Island fudge.  And saltwater taffy.  Yum.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]


Fudge is actually our favors. Mmmm

[Deleted User]

I think it sounds like fun and wouldn't worry about what the BP thinks. We had a 5-minute reheasal then ordered pizza and hung out with both sides of the family and a few friends. You don't have to have the traditional RD at all.

pooh8402

sounds like fun to me. RDs dont' have to be stuffy formal events. ours was a crawfish boil. we ate with our bare hands and everyone wore sundresses or jeans.

mohutch37

I love Mackinac fudge! Can I come to your wedding? (j/k) Thanks so much for this post. I am on a tight budget and I think you gave me a great idea for my OOT guests. I do have to agree about providing a meal for those who are required to be at the Rehearsal but the dessert for everyone else sounds fantastic!  Have a wonderful wedding.

mohutch37

I love Mackinac fudge! Can I come to your wedding? (j/k) Thanks so much for this post. I am on a tight budget and I think you gave me a great idea for my OOT guests. I do have to agree about providing a meal for those who are required to be at the Rehearsal but the dessert for everyone else sounds fantastic!  Have a wonderful wedding.

skippylouwho

a word of warning, since no  motorized vehicles (including golf carts) are allowed on the island - if you are running or riding your bike and see a puddle.... don't go through it... it's ISN'T WATER!!!!! 

They do allow snowmobiles on the island in the winter, other wise it's horses and bicycles.

I LOVE Mackinaw Island.  We have a 32' boat and have done the "great loop" from Sandusky Bay west on Lake Erie, up the Detroit RIver, across Lake St Clair and up the St. Clair River - under the Bluewater bridge and up the West side of Lake Huron.  Back down through the East side of Lake Huron (Northern Channel and Georgian Bay).

We dock at the  Marina at Mackinaw when we're there.  What a great place. We've considered Christmas or New Year's there but would have such a long drive, probalby have to go to St. Ignace and fly in.

What a fabulous place for a wedding - I am so jealous.  I think your plans sound like fun.  If you can find it, get Raspberry Fudge - oh my gosh. Might sound odd but it is so good.

OH - and HUGE carmel apples. They are just gigantic and delicious!

hodgson.holt

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:12b139db-9028-424a-bb51-267d8fef8b2ePost:89b0f154-e592-4a88-b9a6-cf352819fe7e">Re: No Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]a word of warning, since no  motorized vehicles (including golf carts) are allowed on the island - if you are running or riding your bike and see a puddle.... don't go through it... it's ISN'T WATER!!!!! 
Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]


Hahaha! Maybe I should warn my guests about that too... Ah Mackinac, the smells of horse poo and fudge!

psichick

that sounds like a good time. we're doing a big bbq instead of a formal rehearsal dinner so that everyone can come. 

one thing i would say is to let your guests know that no food will be served. 7:30 is still dinnertime to a lot of people. 

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:12b139db-9028-424a-bb51-267d8fef8b2ePost:15f73125-89ec-42cf-88e0-de833b4b3de4">Re: No Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Rehearsal Dinner : We're having the actual rehearsal the morning of the wedding, and our bonfire won't be until after the dinner hour, 7:30 or so.
Posted by hodgson.holt[/QUOTE]


Then you should probably have a rehearsal breakfast/brunch for the WP (doesn't have to be fancy at all).  The bonfire the night before sounds great.

mwhitson14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:12b139db-9028-424a-bb51-267d8fef8b2ePost:15f73125-89ec-42cf-88e0-de833b4b3de4">Re: No Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Rehearsal Dinner : We're having the actual rehearsal the morning of the wedding, and our bonfire won't be until after the dinner hour, 7:30 or so.
Posted by hodgson.holt[/QUOTE]

I think the bonfire sounds like a good idea then! Have fun!

WhatawagSBNy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-20?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:12b139db-9028-424a-bb51-267d8fef8b2ePost:15f73125-89ec-42cf-88e0-de833b4b3de4">Re: No Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Rehearsal Dinner : We're having the actual rehearsal the morning of the wedding, and our bonfire won't be until after the dinner hour, 7:30 or so.
Posted by hodgson.holt[/QUOTE]

An RD is an optional secondary party to a wedding, not a requirement, or payment due for attending the wedding  rehearsal.

It is nice if at some point you have a little thank you gathering for  just  your attendants.  Depending on where you live, it can be drinks and dessert and giving them a little gift while there, or a bridesmaids' lunch or dinner, coffee or drinks  before or after the wedding.
The groom should do this too, for his guys.

Rehearsal dinners are not required.

Morfudd

Of course, if you don't have a rehearsal dinner, you're demonstrating to the guests that you don't support your marriage.



(No, really, I think your plan sounds great!)

sonnolaluna

We're not having a RD, I'm planning to take my ladies for drinks or massages as a thank you, and enjoy the rest of the time with our family from out of town...you aren't in obligation to put a fancy party for the bridal party, thet shouldn't get upset. the bonfire sounds great,have fun!

katiewhompus

I think that sounds like a total blast, but maybe spread via word of mouth that it won't be a dinner type thing. If Dh and I were invited out at 7:30 I would assume dinner was included, since that's normally when my crowd eats.